Thursday, November 21, 2013

wow.

where have I been???

darn facebook.

makes me not feel the need to blog.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

One year ago everything changed.

Foster2Forever positive foster parenting adoption blogs support




It has been a little over a year since our sibling group of three officially moved in.  If you don't know our whole story here are the basics:

-My husband and I have been married for 12 years

-We had 2 biological children and one newly adopted child (from foster care) when we decided to adopt a sib group of 3 (also from foster care)

-Two months after the sib group of 3 moved in, their biological mom gave birth to a 4th baby that no one knew was coming

-We decided to take the baby as well and adopt her along with the 3 siblings


The sibling group of three came  to live with us permanently in October of 2012.  The baby came in December of 2012.

For the past year we have been sorting out our life that was flipped upside down by adopting so many little ones all at once.  Currently, the ages of my children are:

11, 7, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1.

Yes, it is crazy around here.

Over the past 12 months we have dealt with a lot of normal issues that most adopting families will go through.  There has been lying, problems at school, attachment issues, sleeping issues, peeing issues, more lying, jealousy, grief...did I mention lying already?  The funny part is that we managed to adopt four of the most wonderful kids you will ever meet and we STILL had to deal with so many of the issues that people warn you about.

It has not been easy, but we are getting there.  Most of the issues I mentioned are gone now.  Thank goodness.  They still come up here or there, but over all most days are good days.  There really is not much that is easy about adoption.  For me, the only easy part was the "fall in love with a kid you don't really know" part.  Then, they move in and you have to get over the "idea" of who you thought the child was going to be and really work on falling in love with who the child really is.  That is where we are today.  I absolutely love my kids and I am so thankful that they are part of my family.

When they first moved in, all the bad behaviors came out and it is crazy how hard it can be to "like" a child when they are doing one horrible thing after another.  "Love" and "like" are two completely different things, and I am so glad that after many rough months I can say I "love" and actually "LIKE" my children.

I think all I really wanted to share with people was that adopting is hard, but it is worth it.  We have just been through the hardest year of our lives, and we look around and cannot believe how blessed we have been through it all.  We never gave up.  Even before the adoption was finalized and some pretty rough stuff happened, we never gave up on our kids.  They needed a family, they needed a home, and we needed them.

If you want to read more about our crazy lives you can feel free to poke around my blog or "like" my "Mama Foster" page on Facebook.  I love meeting foster moms, potential foster moms, and other foster families.  I love adoption.  I love talking about adoption.  I believe from the depths of my soul that God cares deeply for "the orphan" and that we are called to do the same.

Thanks for stopping by!


Monday, October 28, 2013

Friday, October 18, 2013

Never Fails.




I took this picture and added this text a couple years ago.  It was the day that they told me that they were moving Lizzy and that I had no say in the matter.

But God.

The plan was in place, the biological family was told, everything was set in stone - she was leaving.

But God.


Today Lizzy is still here.
She is legally my daughter.
She was my daughter on the day they told me they were moving her, "they" just didn't know yet.

I have seen the worst of foster care, and I have seen the best.

I wish everyone could experience the miracles I have.

They would be far less hesitant to become a foster parent based on the thought, "I could never do it, I could never give them back."

Monday, October 14, 2013

Will the lying ever stop?

Oh my word.

Seriously.

SERIOUSLY.

I think me oldest daughter (the newly adopted one) thinks I am an IDIOT.


She lies about the STUPIDEST stuff.

She thinks she is so convincing.


I have yet to come up with a punishment that makes it stop.  Seriously, I wonder if it will stop.

Ever.

Next, I am am going to make her eat yucky baby food (enjoy your smashed peas!) if she lies to me again.

I am at a loss.

The worst part is that she is so so good at it.  I can see thru it, but only because I have gotten to understand the lies and the liar and can see them coming before she even opens her mouth.

Have any of you ever warned your child's teacher that they are a VERY convincing liar?


Thursday, October 3, 2013

Long term.

Often I ask myself, "Why do you still have contact with Lizzy's bio dad even though he was a jerk to you and basically threatened to try to get Lizzy back?"

The answer is simple.

It isn't about me.

It is about grown up Lizzy.

You know, the one who will come up to me and ask me all those hard "why did I need to be adopted?" questions.  Seriously, my life would be SO much easier and normal if I just cut everyone out and pretended that my kids had no life before coming to our home.

Oh, the sound of how easy that would make my life makes me long for that calm that just will never happen.

Pure and simple.  I do it for Lizzy, because some day it might matter to her.

Adoption is so not easy.

But, it is SO amazingly worth it!


Red dye.

Red dye makes Lizzy mean and crazy.

When will I learn!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Why foster parents like me will never agree with the courts decisions.

Yesterday one of my fellow foster moms walked into a court room and was blindsided with a judges decision to move their foster children THAT day.

There was no warning.  The children were not even allowed to say good bye to their teachers, classmates, friends....nothing.  As far as everyone is concerned it will be as if they suddenly disappeared.

The number one problem is the lack of rights that these children have.  From what I have seen, children have no rights at all.  They don't get to express if they would like to even say good bye to someone, more or less where they would like to live.

The thing that literally keeps me up at night is that the decisions that are made in court are. NOT made in order to keep the child as safe as possible.  The judges and lawyers will even tell you that.  It isn't about what is safest or best for the child.  It is about putting families back together in hopes that they won't do anything TOO bad to the child.


As a parent I will never understand that way of thinking.


As a human. I will never understand why a child does not have the right to be as safe as possible.

I will never get it.


I will never agree with it.


Everything is such a broken mess.  Kids get hurt and then are put in foster care.  Then, sometimes, they are hurt even worse in foster care (if they get bad foster parents).  THEN, let's say they don't get hurt in foster care, they easily can be put in harms way again when they are returned to their bio family because of bad decisions or rules that mean nothing.


It gets old fighting a fight that is impossible to win.

For every win I am sure there is a loss.  I so wish the losses were not the norm.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

It's always something.

Lizzy found a TINY rubber band right before bed and slipped it onto her wrist.  She wasn't able to get it off and I didn't find it until the next morning.

It had cut off some (thankfully not ALL) of the circulation to her hand causing it to swell up to almost twice its normal size.

Seriously.  I about died.

I got it off and was so upset.

How do you punish a kid for something like that?  By punish, I really do mean find a way to teach them not to do stuff like that.

I don't know what to do with her some days...what if it would have cut off ALL the circulation to her hand!!!



Monday, September 16, 2013

Fo real.

Getting a house ready to sell with seven kids in it may be impossible.


Uggghhhh. Makes me wanna cry!


So much to do and literally no time to do it.



Friday, September 13, 2013

Pre-school.

I thought the day would never come, but Lizzy is FINALLY in pre-school.  She is RIGHT at the cut off date for being too young to start Kindergarten this year.  That is a very very good thing.


#1 She is socially immature
#2 She is just now starting to get a handle on her impulse control
#3 She would have been in the same class as my 5 year old
#4 My 5 year old would have made Lizzy look...not so smart


It is a very very good thing that she is not in Kindergarten this year...even though I would like her to be going to school full days and not two half days a week.

This is a good practice run for next year.


P.S. This is a pic I took to send to her bio dad of her first day of school...yes, even after he threatened to try to get her back even though she is adopted.  Apparently I will spend the next 14 years of my life learning to be the bigger person (who am I kidding, try the rest of my life period.)

Nine.

Nine people in a three bedroom house is not working anymore.


Let the house hunting begin!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Future.

Three of my kids are off at school.

Two are watching "Sophia the First", a new love in this house.

The one year is sitting on me and cries if i move.

The nine month old is experimenting with broccoli in the high hair, but is starting to complain,


My days all run together and I get way less showers than I used to.  Every minute of my day seems to be spent filling a need of one child or another.


I chose this.
I love it.
It overwhelms me.


I am not very good at it though, at least in my own opinion.

I am not very patient.
I am not always loving.

But, I am more patient than I used to be.
More forgiving than I used to be.
And better at this than I used to be.


Who knows, by the time I grandchildren I might actaully have this down.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Wonder.


In case any of you were wondering which name won the vote I had a while ago...

This was the name that was chosen, but if you look at the voting on the link I posted it really is not the name that won the vote.  Oh well, I agreed with you guys, but, in the end, this was the right name for THIS book.

There may or may not be a 2nd book someday...shhhhhh...we will discuss that much much much later.

Anyway, if you want to see excerpt from the book (which I will start sharing tomorrow), or be kept up to date on the actual release of the book (the end of Fall 2013) you can head over to our facebook page to become a fan.

We are so excited to get this book DONE and into our hands...and yours!!!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Adopted.




On August 16th, 2013...Sophie Rae went from being a foster child to being a part of our family.


We are no longer foster parents to any children.  We are just their parents.


I wonder what our next adventure will be?  :)

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Distracted.

Sorry I haven't been around the past few days.  My husband and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary over the weekend and I haven't quite gotten back in the swing of things.  If you are a fan at my "Mama Foster" facebook page you might have read that our adoption of our 7th child THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE ALREADY was delayed because the adoption worker listed the wrong hospital in the space where they asked where the child was born.  I wanted to cry when she called and told me.  I know that is over dramatic and it really is not that big of a deal, but I was hoping that it was DONE.  It is very very close to being done, so I will just have to be patient.


Also, over in facebook land you may have seen a few of these floating around:
I have been having an absolute BLAST making these pictures and sharing them all over facebook.  I want people to see what TREASURES are awaiting them if they take the LEAP of FAITH to come find them!  It you want to see all the pics you can see them here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=360275907408977&set=a.310456459057589.1073741828.309877699115465&type=1&comment_id=606113&offset=0&total_comments=5

If you want to submit a pic of your adopted child that USED to be a foster child feel free to message it to me over at my facebook page OR email it to me at mamatofoster@gmail.com

In other news, our "super not-so-secret" book is coming right along!  I am so excited for the day that it is finished and ready to launch into the world!  The stories are amazing and it is exactly THE book I was always searching for as I was getting ready to become a foster parent!  I wanted to know what it was REALLY like to foster and this book is exactly that!!!

I hope you all are doing good too.  If you get a chance, leave me a comment and tell me how your foster kiddos are doing!  I miss them! 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Like Flies.

I went to Sam's club today.  I was by myself (miracle), and I was picking up two things.  Baby wipes and vinegar.

Exciting life I lead.

Anyway, I get in line to pay and the lady ringing me up says, "You look like you have a toddler."

Me:  Yep, I have two of them, actually.

(I decided to spare her the "I actually have seven kids" story)

Cashier:  You know, you can put vinegar in your kid's mouth and it's ok because it's food"

Me:  Uh-huh.

(She was getting at, I guess, that if your child uses a bad word or something you can use vinegar as a punishment like a "I'll wash your mouth out with soap" type of deal)

Cashier:  If you use soap the state will take your kids away, but if your use vinegar they can't.

Me:  Soap is pretty old school.  People used to do that all the time, I guess.

Cashier:  Yeah, one time I even had a social worker at the house, and used vinegar in my kid's mouth.  I told them that it's food.  They can't do anything about it.

Me:  Well, it is in salad dressing....


I trailed off as I grabbed my items and made a run for the door.  I wonder what she would have thought if I would have told her I was a foster parent.  I swear, I attract those kind of people like flies!!!


Monday, August 5, 2013

Adopted.

At this moment I MIGHT be the legal mom of seven children.  I am waiting on a signature from a judge and for papers in the mail to come and tell me that she is mine.

That is the weird part of having no finalization hearing.

With Lizzy's adoption the judge asked me at the last hearing, "Do you want a finalization hearing or do you want me to just hurry up and sign the papers so this is done."

I  told her to do whatever made that child mine the fastest.

She said, "You sound like a woman who likes to get things done.  I like that."

So, a few weeks later, I found out that on a sunny day in June I had become a mother to my adopted daughter without even knowing it.  (Until I got the papers in the mail)

I didn't feel like Lizzy would benefit from a hearing because she thought we already were her family.  She was so young that there was no way to explain the situation to her, and the court house was an hour away and I wasn't in the mood to drive out there...again.

Our 3 kids that we just adopted did have a hearing.  Their judge insisted on it.  Their hearing was also an hour away, but in the opposite direction of Lizzy's.  For my five and six year old, the hearing was a good idea.  They got to hear from the "judge" (that their foster mom was always talking to them about) that they would stay with us forever.  Then all the kids got a sucker from the judge.  It was cute.

In our newest baby's case, yet again, she is too young to know what the hearing is or what is happening.  Quite frankly, I dare you to tell her that I'm not her mom.  :)  I just want hers FINISHED.  I feel like it will be as if the "chains of foster care" will finally be cut from around us and we will be free.

And, for all I know this has already happened.

But, I'm still waiting for the paper in the mail to tell me it has.


(the picture of the rainbow is a shot of the rainbow that showed up the day we signed all the legal papers agreeing to adopt our sib group of three -  a sign of God's promise to us, I am sure)

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Part two.

After the first night that Sabrina spent the night i didnt really have a plan for Saturday.  The kids played all morning and I finally gathered myself and the babies up and took the kids to the park.  Lest i sound like Wonder Woman, my husband came with us as well.
The kids loved the park.  Dark clouds started to roll in and instead of leaving we told the kids we would just hang out under an over hang and wait until it passed.  It ended up raining much longer than we thought it would so we ran to the car and Went home. The kids were drenched so we changed their clothes and hung out at home until dinner time.  We took them to McDonald's and let them play at the playplace.  We got lots of stares.  Apparently eight kids look like a lot.  After that, we went home and the kids jumped on the wet trampoline.  They got soaked again and Sabrina said "I always wanted to jump on a trampoline!"  The day was filled with lots of fun memories and lots of wet clothes.  Sabrina was sure that she wanted to spend the night again so she did.  We had no issue at night.  We put the kids to bed at 11 pm (which is still way too late) and everything went well.
The plan for the next day was to go to church as usual and then go to my mom's house.  It was my mom's birthday.  Sabrina didnt seem to recognize my parents or my husband's parents BUT when my sister arrived at my mom's house Sabrina ran up to her and gave her a big hug.  She hadn't seen her since her last day in our home.  I was surprise, but happy, that she remembered her.
3pm came all too soon and it was time for us to take Sabrina back to her mom's house.  I told my husband that I wanted to be the one to drop her off so I packed up my one year old and Sabrina and drove her home.  My husband took the rest of the kids home.
On the way to Sabrina's house my one year old fell asleep which was nice because Sabrina and I finally had time to talk.  She talked about school (which is going well) and talked about how she worries that her grandmother is going to die (she gets that from her mom, her mom talks about that alot.  Grandma is their only source of income and has gotten sick a few times over the past couples years).  I don't know why I said it, but I told Sabrina that I was glad she gets to live with her mom.  Well, I do know why I said it.  I want her to be with her mom if that is where she wants to be and if it is safe.  She didnt say much so I said, "are you happy to be living with your mom?"  She said, "yes, because I love her and grandma and that is where I belong....but I feel like I belong with you too."

I wasn't expecting that.  It was like everything i feared and hoped for collided.  I want her to be happy.  I want her to be happy living where she has to.  But, I think I wanted to ignore the fact that she loved me as much as I loved her.  There is something there that made my Sabrina bug her mom until after eight months of silence she finally gave in and let me back in her life.  On my end i did nothing.  I never contacted mom.  I waited and prayed and cried.  And then God gave me my first daughter back.


It isn't the way i wanted it, but had God given me what I wanted back then i wouldn't have what I have now.  I still want better for Sabrina than what she is living right now.  But, God has a plan.  I don't have to know all the details in order to trust that HE knows what HE is doing.

Sabrina.

When I went to pick Sabrina up I took my one year old and my 5 year old daughters.  I pulled in the driveway and mom, grandma and sabrina spilled out of the trailer into the driveway like they normally do.  mom and grandma were encouraging sabrina to have fun and spend the night, but both mentioned to me that they weren't sure she would stay the whole night.  they said that she had stayed the night next door to them and said that she claimed she couldn't sleep at all there and was up all night.

i loaded sabrina up and she and my 5 year old played barbies the whole way back to  my house.  when we pulled in the driveway sabrina ran in the house like she had been there a million times.  which, she has, but that was 2 1/2 years ago.  she ran inside.  my husband and son met her and gave her a hug and told her that they were glad she was here.

she ran off with my young tribe of children and played the day away with them.  i have my hands full every day with the babies so between making meals and taking care of kids i didn't have any alone time with sabrina, but she didn't seem to  need any.  she just played with all the kids.

they played with babies, barbies and dress up clothes.  we had pizza for dinner.  it just just normal weekend stuff.  i knew sabrina's mom lets her stay up VERY late so i decided to do the same in hopes that she wouldn't freak out and want to go home at 11 pm.  it worked.  i let all the kids stay up until past midnight (oh my word, i will never do that again if i don't have to) and eventually sabrina asked if it was bed time.  i put the kids in bed and hugged each one good night, said "i love you" and gave them a kiss.  the smile on sabrina's face when it was her turn was priceless.  i left the room and checked on her later and she was out like a light.

i guess this is where i should mention "the bear".  when i picked up sabrina from her mom's house her mom showed me a bear that she packed for her.  she said, "she sleeps with this every night and WILL NOT sleep without it!  if she misplaces it even at home we have to tear the whole house apart looking for it because she HAS to have it.  Please keep an eye on it."  the bear looks like your typical worn out beloved baby bear.  she never had anything that she HAD to sleep with at my house so i found this interesting.  it wasn't until the car ride home that i found out what the deal with the bear was.  sabrina told me that in one of the pictures in the photo albums i made for her to take with her when she was returned to bio mom she was holding that bear in her bedroom at our house.  i have known for a while that she looks at those albums a lot.  well, it turns out that, after seeing that bear and connecting it with our house, she latched onto it and has been obsessed with it ever since returning to her bio mom's house.

This is just one of the things that had me in tears after I dropped her off on Sunday.  I will share more later.  It is 3 am...and I have kids to take care of in the morning.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Nothing about foster care is easy.

This past weekend Sabrina spent two nights at our home.  This was a REALLY big deal.  She had not been to our home since the social worker put Sabrina in her car and drove away to return Sabrina to her biological mother.  

That, honestly, was one of the worst days of my life.  I stood in the driveway looking at my first daughter thru the car window and cried.  I never would have dreamed that 2 1/2 years later I would have a good enough relationship with her mom that her mom would let her come over for a whole weekend.

But, we have made it. 

Sabrina has been very clingy to her bio mom ever since being returned to her, which is very understandable.  They have tried to get Sabrina to spend the night at a relative's house or a friend's house, but once bedtime comes she always asks/begs to go home.  I am so thrilled to say she had NO issues at our house.  She spend TWO nights and went to sleep without any issue.  We just played all weekend and she fit right in, for the most part.

She wasn't clingy with me, she played with our kids most of the time and acted like she felt comfortable.  When I would tuck the kids in for bed and hug and kiss and tell them I loved them, she lit up when it was her turn.

Seriously, I couldn't believe I got to that again.  I tucked that sweet baby in for 16 months and cuddled her every night.  And, then she was gone.  Being able to do that again was such a gift.

I have more to tell, but I am so happy to report that we had a great time and, sometimes, foster care does have a happy ending, even if it isn't the ending we hoped for.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Nerves.

Tomorrow I am picking up my first foster child and bringing her back to our house to spend the night for a couple nights.

She hasn't been here in close to two and a half years.

The whole house is different.  (Redecorated)

I am not her mom anymore.

She doesn't like spending the night anywhere away from her mom.

I have seven kids now.

Two of them are babies.

I am excited and freaking out.


I hope everything goes well.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Everything.

yesterday we signed the legal papers that needed to be signed in order to finish our adoption of our 7 mo. old baby girl. within 30 days it should be finalized. we decided to not request a hearing. we just want them to sign the paperwork and for this to be done!



 *********************************



 in other news...i asked Sabrina's mom if she could come over for a couple days. (Sabrina was my first foster child) Her mom said yes! this is the first time in 2 1/2 years that we will see Sabrina without her mom there. that is a big deal. i never wanted to scare her mom off by asking if she could come over by herself but, i figured, "what do i have to loose?" so, she said she is fine with it. unless something changes, we will be picking her up on friday and she will be staying until sunday. i hope everything goes well. i am nervous :) i am worried she will freak out and want to go home at bed time. i am sure it will be fine, but i just worry i guess.



 *********************************



 remember when i had you guys vote on a "hypothetical" name of a foster care book? well, things are moving along and there will be a book authored by me and 13-14 of your other favorite bloggers. I am so excited for it to be done! The stories have been written and now we are editing it! it really is THE book i was always looking for when i was in the beginning stages of becoming a foster parent. i wanted a book about CURRENT foster cases that told the DETAILS of what it is like to foster. I am so excited to know that a book like that WILL exist VERY soon!!!!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Triggers.

I had no idea when I woke up this morning that Miracle Whip and bread would trigger one of my kids.

Today I was making lunch and had the Miracle Whip out on the counter.  The kids had actually already eaten their lunch and I was making my husband and I's lunch.  My 6-year-old newly adopted son walked up and said, "I love that." Gesturing toward the Miracle Whip.  He is a very picky eater so i was skeptical.

I asked, "what do you like it with?"

He said bread.  I asked if he like it with bread, cheese, and turkey or ham.  He said, no, just bread.  I didnt really believe he knew what he was talking about, especially, because he was calling the Miracle Whip "whip cream".  He has also has called butter "whip cream" so I didn't know if he even knew what he was talking a bout at all.

So, I slathered a light  layer of Miracle Whip onto a piece of bread and topped it with another peice of bread.

Yuck.

As I was doing this, my 5-year-old newly adopted daughter saw what i was doing and said, "can I have what J.J. Is having?"

I vomited in my mouth a little and told her yes.  I cut the horrific "sandwich" I had just made in half and handed half to J.J. And half to my daughter.

They tore into those sandwiches.

I immediately asked, "who used to make this for you?!?"

They both said, "Lucy!" (Their 14 year old foster sister that they lived with for around two years.)

Oh my word.

Anyway, in all honesty, this story is not about how my kids were fed Miracle Whip sandwiches at their old foster home.  And liked it.

As the day progresses, after the kids ate those monstrosities, my 5-year-old daughter, who ate the sandwich of death, started to get very crabby.

And pouted.

About everything.

Until I sent her to bed.

It took me a little while to figure it out but, I finally figured it out.

Ah, yes.  Crazy sandwich = memories of her last "family"

And she misses them.

Thus, she pouts at me about anything and everything i say or do for the rest of the day.

Because she misses them, and she's five and that is how she handles it. Things have actually be going great, but that does not mean that the life she lived before us and without us doesn't effect her. She is a good girl and tomorrow is a new day. Someday, Miracle Whip and bread sandwiches won't ruin her whole day.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Blech.

Well, I no longer have any dreams of finalizing in July.


This better happen in August.

Just sayin'.


;)

Monday, June 24, 2013

Slow.

Ugggghhhhhh.


I have no idea when we are going to finalize our littest's adoption.


I am hoping it really is in July, but, having received no word on that yet, I am guessing it will not be in July.


I know she isn't going anywhere.

I know all the sudden the paperwork will be done.

I know it will come and go as fast as our last finalization date.


I'm just ready.  Ready for it to be done.  No more workers or paperwork...or anything.


I am so ready for this to be done!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Heart Breaking.

Text from Lizzy's bio dad on Father's Day:


Him:  "Hi"


Me:  -snapped quick pic of Lizzy and wrote "Happy Father's Day"-

Me:  -snapped quick 2nd pic and sent that one as well-


Him:  "Awwww hi boogie"


Me:  "She said hi!"  (no she didn't, but that is what I sent back)


Him:  "Thanks tell her i love her.how your day going"


Me:  "We are good.  She is having a good day.  I hope u are too.  Happy Father's Day!"


Him:  "Thanks...tell your husband the same"


Me:  "I will.  Thank u for being Lizzy's father from day one.  I'm glad she has you."


Him:  "Thanks i will always lover her..she's the apple of my eye..."

Friday, June 14, 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Her eyes.

When I look into my newest baby's eyes I wonder....

Did her mother have any idea that the moment she handed her baby over to the police it would be the last time she would EVER see her?


Did her heart sink to her feet when she heard the knock at the door that she knew would come eventually?


Did a tiny part of her say goodbye forever as she kissed her on the head?


Everytime I look into this sweet baby's eyes I can't help but wonder how heart broken her first mother is....because I know how heart broken I would be if someone came to the door and demanded that I hand her over to them, forever.


I don't see her first mom as a monster.  I can't.  I have handed over my "daughter" to a social worker (to be returned to her bio mom) and I know what it feels like to wonder if I will EVER see my little girl again.


I know how badly it hurts.


In my heart I hope someday it will be a GOOD idea to contact their bio mom and let her back into their lives.  It is hard to be in a spot where you will never really know if that is the case.  I want that for her though.  I want her to get to see the children she gave birth to again.


Friday, May 31, 2013

Because.

This is a shot from about two years ago.  "Lizzy" and my oldest son on his first day of 3rd grade, back when it was just the two of them.

Who would have thought in such a short time I would go from 2 to 7!!!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Vote, please.

I tried to make a poll that you could just click on, but it wouldn't work...so, will you read thru these Titles and leave a comment letting me know which one you like???


A.  "It Started with a Phone Call"

B.  "In the Thick of Things:  True Stories of Foster Care"

C.  "Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between"

D.  "Waiting in the Middle:  Tales from Foster Care"

E.  "Welcome to the Roller Coaster:  True Stories of the Ups and Downs of Foster Care"

F.  "Hoping, Waiting, Helping:  True Stories from the Depth of Foster Care"

G.  "Confessions of a Foster Mom"



PLEASE let me know what one would catch your attention :)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A month of birthdays.

This month we have a lot of birthdays to celebrate.

I have never given my "new" kids blog names, so forgive me over explaining who everyone is.

My two new daughters both have birthdays in May.  We will call the 3 yr old Linnie and the 5 year old Kady.

Kady's birthday is the same day as my first foster daughter's, but she was born a year later.  I already posted about my first foster daughter's birthday party.  The party was a week after their actual birthday, and that actually worked out better for us.  We celebrated Kady's birthday at home with our family and grandma and grandpa.  She picked out her cake and we put up Minnie Mouse decorations.  I bought her gifts that she very specifically asked for.

She is very into details and doesn't miss anything.  She is very articulate and very smart.  She has taken over the roll of oldest sibling to her brother and sisters even tho she was the second born, not the first.  She couldn't wait to open her presents so we did it very early in the morning.  Her favorite was a jewelry box.  She has wanted one ever since she saw mine.

Her birthday was very low key, but we talked about it a lot and she seemed happy with everything.  She is so picky that I was worried that she wouldn't be very impressed with her small party, but it didnt seem to bother her at all.

I enjoyed celebrating her first birthday with us together, without the distractions of lots of guests.  She is such a great kid.  She is a huge helper and always wants to be with me.  She likes women in general, but is warming up to men as well.  She loves to be tickled and misses her foster sister she lived with for two years before moving in with us.  In certain ways she was the easiest to move into our home and in other ways she has been the hardest.  She is extremely pretty and can manipulate with the best of them.

She really is a gift.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Secret.

I have been staying up pretty late the past few nights working on our "secret" book.  I have finished my chapter.  It has morphed a bit and is going thru editing, but if you would like to see it and the family photos that I have put together to share all you have to do is donate to the "Dude and Dolly" fund and I will email it all over to you!!

(If you don't know what I am talking about, take a minute to read this post: http://mamafoster.blogspot.com/2013/05/houston-we-have-problem.html )

To donate use this link:  http://mamafoster.blogspot.com/2013/05/houston-we-have-problem.html


And, thank you to everyone who already has!  It means more than you know!!!







Monday, May 20, 2013

Birthdays.

This weekend we celebrated my first foster child's birthday with her and her family at Chuck E Cheese. Ironically, Sabrina's birthday is the same exact day as my newly adopted daughter's birthday. Anyway, leading up to Sabrina's birthday her mom texted me to say "hi". She mentioned Sabrina's b-day and I asked if she needed any help planning it. Now, when I offer to help, I am basically offering to pay for most if not all of it because Sabrina's mom never has any money. She immediately took me up on my offer and also stated "I'm not getting any help from anyone down here".

 Now, I could go on and on about mom's entitled attitude, but lets just say, last year an aunt of mom's planned Sabrina's WHOLE party and took care of everything and it was very nice. I am sure mom didn't have to do anything besides show up. That is her idea of help.   According to mom, Sabrina wanted a party at a park and likes Winnie the pooh, Scooby Doo, and butterflies.

 Ok, I can work with that.

 So, I found a park right by their house, they are an hour away from me, and told mom about it. I always try to let her feel like she is in charge so I told her and left it. Basically over the next few weeks everything changed every day and in the end the aunt told mom that she either needed to have it at a bounce house or Chuck E Cheese. Ok, whatever, so mom called Chuck E Cheese and then called me. Mom doesn't have the money for Chuck E Cheese, obviously. Chuck E Cheese books parties per kid so I asked mom how many kids. She said Sabrina plus two more and then my kids (6). I told her that I would be happy to pay for my kids plus the three she mentioned and if she ended up inviting more she could just pay for those.

 So, I booked the party and mom was happy with that. The week before the party Sabrina's mom's aunt called her. She told her that having a party where there is no food for the adults is rude (I agree) and that I should not be paying for the party. This aunt controls all of Sabrina's grandma's money. Sabrina and mom live with grandma, thus, she controls a lot of what goes on in their home. She took my phone number from mom and called me. She was lovely to me on the phone and thanked me for planning the party and told me that "I control grandma's money because it is just better that way and she has money set aside we can use for this so we will give you a check to reimburse you for the party." I told her it was unnecessary, but that was fine if that's is what they wanted to do.

 The night before the part Sabrina's mom texts me and asks if Chuck E Cheese provides plates for the cake. Her ONE job was to buy a cake which she said she could get with her food stamps. I told her yes, they provide the plates. She asked if they provided goody bags for the kids. At this point I figured out that the aunt had called her and told her a list of things SHE needed to take care of. I told her, no, they did not. She said ok. The morning of the party we all left early to get there so I could talk to the staff and make sure everything was all set. Upon arriving immediately they handed me a sticker with my name on it listed as the parent of the birthday child.

 Awkward. :).

 I asked them to make a new one with mom's name on it and threw the one with my name on it away. We got there a half hour early. We bought tokens for our kids and let them play while I talked to the hostess. Mom had said they would come early, but they came right around the time the party was to start which was fine. My kids were off playing so I quickly explained everything to mom, after hugging Sabrina, and then confirmed the pizza order with the hostess (for the kids, no adult food). Mom, grandma, Sabrina and mom's brother all came in together. I gave Sabrina her cup of coins and she went off to play. It wasn't until she and the uncle came to tell mom that they were out of tokens that I realized the uncle was using all of Sabrina's tokens. *sigh*. I dug tokens out of two of my kids' cups and handed them to Sabrina. I think at some point grandma ponied up $10 to buy more token...after the uncle used up the 25 extra tokens we got for booking online. Grandma and uncle went around playing games and they did given there tickets to Sabrina.

 The cake mom picked up was...disappointing, but oh well. It was pre made from the store, which is fine, but it was probably the ugliest cheapest cake she could have bought. One really weird thing that happened was after the hostess cut the cake and served it to everyone grandma came up to me and told me the hostess had "butchered" the cake. I looked at the cake and it looked exactly like it would have if I cut it us. Weird. Some people just make up stuff to complain about I guess.

 One of the kids that was supposed to come didn't, so besides my kids only one child came. That was kinda sad. Luckily I have so many it looked like a good size party. The mom of the child that did come was a little different. I saw her talking to the hostess so I pulled the hostess aside to ask what was going on. She said that the mom had said her child didn't get any pizza which made no sense. My husband and I had ordered a pizza so I told her we would just given them some of ours. It took me a minute to realize what happened. Mom and uncle had eaten the kids' pizza before making sure all the kids had pizza. *sigh*

 Besides that everything went well. She got some very nice presents from all of the guests. She looked like she had a lot of fun when everyone sang and the hostess made sure to make her feel special. It was nice to see her have a nice birthday party. The party consisted of my family, Sabrina, grandma, mom, uncle, one friend and their parent and two adult relatives. They were the aunt and uncle who did come and wrote me a check to pay me back for the party. They both thanked me again for everything I did and told me if I wouldn't have helped there wouldn't have been a birthday party. There was a part in the party when mom was talking to me about the aunt who called me. She did not come to the party, it was another aunt who came and wrote me a check, and she told me the one who called me had called her earlier that week and chewed her out for what was going on and her lack of throwing her own child a party. She started to tear up as she said "no one helps me" which was sad, but I have to say, EVERYONE helps them. Seriously, last year they did everything for the party. EVEN having Sabrina writing thank u notes,was something the aunt did. And this year I did everything. It is sad, her version of help is people doing everything for her. I think she would like to do more, but not enough to get a job or something.

 As usual, it was great to see Sabrina and sad to see how the adults in her life act, but I will continue to try to be there for her. I want to be there for her when she is old enough to start making her own decisions so that if she needs help someone will be there.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Houston, we have a problem.

You all are like family to me, really, and there is just something about another foster mom...meeting another foster mom just makes me feel like you get me and I get you.  I have had so many of you rooting me on now for literally years and I have been rooting you all on for literally years.  When I watch one of you go through the hard parts of foster care my heart breaks because I have been there, and so many of you were there for me while my heart was being ripped in two.

I don't know how many of you read http://cherubmamma.blogspot.com/, but I do, faithfully.  In a way, I think she is best known for the investigation she lived through last summer.  After the investigation, quite frankly even though she was cleared of any wrong doing, the CPS worker she was dealing with had no intention of placing her foster children back in her home.

But God.

They did in fact end up back in her home and are currently still there.  It is a LONG story, but friends, it has become clear that "Cherub Mamma's" family will need to hire a lawyer and intervene in this case to try to keep these kids safe.  At this point a few of us, namely "Mimi" over at http://tamlynn75random.blogspot.com/, have been working on coming up with some ways for the family to raise money to pay for the lawyer.

The numbers $15,000 - $20,000 have been toss around concerning how much this could cost them.

Isn't it supposed to be FREE to adopt through foster care???  ;)

Anyway, I wanted to tell you all this so that I could give you an opportunity to "chip in" and help, because seriously, I would do the same for all of you.  We are a family.  We get it.  Sometimes something BIG has to be done and, in this case, 2 little kids hang in the balance.

So.

First off, I will be matching donations made through this blog up to $200.  You donate $5, it becomes $10.  Sounds like a good investment right?

Secondly, I am going to let a cat out of the bag.  "Mimi" and I, along with several other ladies, will be working on a book that will share our stories told by us about our experiences through foster care.  This is something we would have LOVED to throw together and have available ASAP, but that isn't exactly how a book works now is it?  So, everyone that donates at least $10 to our fundraiser, you will receive a sneak peak into our book in progress.  It will be my chapter of the book telling all the details of how our newest baby was placed with us and the drama that surrounded it.  And, for this fundraiser and my readers ONLY I will add some of our personal family photos so you can see all these beautiful children for yourself!!!

All you do is click on the "Donate" button, donate, and then come back and leave a comment telling me where you would like me to send the sneak peak to (email address or mailing address, email is preferable).  Or, you can email me at mamatofoster@gmail.com with your email address or mailing address).


Ok, here is the button:








Easy enough right?  Give me until Monday, May 20th to email you the sneak peak please!  I am working hard to get it finished!!!


And, just because I can because I am his LEGAL mom now, here is a shot of my new son.  I know, he's adorable.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

Dear Foster Mom, YOU are as REAL as a mom can get. Happy Mother's Day to some of the strongest, most courageous Mothers I know. Love, Mama Foster

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Finalized.

On Friday we finalized our adoption of the three kiddos.


It feels so good to have that done!



We still have to finish the adoption of the new baby.  I wish we could have done it at the same time, but it is a different case.  Bio sib to the three we just adopted, but a different case.


I am debating about the family picture because the baby not being adopted.


It might just happen though. :)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Next week.

Next week we finalize our adoption of THREE of our kids.


I am so ready for this to be done!


Just gotta get this last little gorgeous baby adopted and then we can BREATHE!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Win.

This is what it looks like when you make a GIANT bowl of popcorn for your 6 kids to eat AND THEN THE ONE YEAR OLD INSISTS ON SITTING IN IT.


Seriously, this child is ridiculous.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Finalization.

One month from today I will be the official, only, LEGAL mom of six.

Six.

If you had told me that back in the old days I would have laughed at you.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Until the bitter end.

When we became the kids legal guardians (we still have to finalize this adoption on May 10th, 2013), the court sent out a letter to the "Grandma" who claimed she wanted to adopt the children, but could not be approved to do so, letting her know that she has 56 days to file an appeal if she would like to.

Ok.  This lady never took the time to try to get the kids out of foster care for the 2 years they were in foster care.

She then "wanted to adopt them", but, on top of having issues such as a criminal background, no stable income, no room in her house for them, ect, she WOULD NEVER CALL THE ADOPTION AGENCY BACK IN ORDER TO FIND OUT IF SHE HAD BEEN DENIED OR APPROVED.

Seriously.

So, she got the paper letting her know about her timeline to appeal the denial of her "home study" and now she is calling around acting like some of the information was incorrect.

To top it off she isn't even calling the right people.

To file for an appeal she needs to contact the board that denied her.  Well, she is just calling around to the adoption workers who have no say in it anyway.  She left our adoption worker a message and then when our adoption worker called her she said. "I am at the doctor, call me back." which our worker did.  But she didn't answer and her voice mail could not receive any new messages.  Our worker said she isn't calling her back.  She documented that she called and it doesn't matter because she isn't even the right person to call.

"Grandma" has about 20 - 25 more days until her time is up.  I know it will come and go.

I am just so excited to finalize this.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Lizzy...the saga

I keep texting Lizzy's bio dad pics of her...because I said I would.  He has been nice every time and not said anything that concerns me, you know, like "I am going to get a lawyer and try to get her back".

I search and search and search about how the laws have changed in my state and, honestly, I DO wonder what would happen if he got the RIGHT lawyer in front of the RIGHT judge...well, I just wonder what would happen.

I was happy to read though that in the law there is a time limit for all of this.  Either the bio father has to establish paternity before the child turns 3 years old (Lizzy is 4 years old) OR within a year of the law changing.  That is what possibly COULD give him time to try to do something...even though I know he won't.

So, as of June 2012 he will be out of luck NO MATTER WHAT.

Even though I think he already is anyway.

Monday, April 1, 2013

So busy.

Every day is crazy around here, but things are starting to feel normal.

One of my little ones is having such a hard time telling the truth.  She is such a great kid, but she seems to be hard wired to lie.  Some times she catches herself.  I really love her.  I hope we can get this figured out.

It's spring break this week.  We are taking the kids to the water park tomorrow.  They are excited.

Some days I miss my life (maybe its just missing my free time) before bringing home FOUR more kids.  I can't imagine NOT having them here, but it doesn't mean that it is easy.

Being a mom to SEVEN is a 24 hour a day job.  They are worth it though.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Give A Way...Facebook pals!

If you haven't seen it yet, Mama Foster is now on Facebook :)  If you would like to enter my first Facebook giveaway search "Mamafoster", like the page, and then go back and comment on the Facebook post.

Good luck!!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Legally Ours.

Leave it to my agency to get paperwork telling them that the court has signed the "Placement" papers naming us as the legal guardians of our kids WHO ARE NOW NO LONGER FOSTER CHILDREN and they (the agency) just doesn't bother to tell us.

They thought we would get a separate copy in the mail I guess.

Whatever.

Can't wait to finalize!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Big surprise!

I thought it would take longer...

But...


In the mail today...



I got a letter....



Telling me our finalization date is....



May 10th, 2013!!!


I am so excited!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Add.

I thought I would give you an update on this post:

http://mamafoster.blogspot.com/2013/03/i-made-him-mad.html


So, supposedly today was his birthday, Lizzy's bio dad's birthday if you are just catching up.

Lizzy was drawing pictures today, she makes great potato people by the way, so I took one (that she specifically said she drew for me) and wrote "Happy Birthday Papa!" on it (which is what she called him) and had her hold it up and I took a pic of it and texted it to him.

She had no idea what it said.

He replied "Awwww, thanks Lizzy, I love you"

And later a "Thanks" to me as well.


So there you have it.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

I made him mad.

Today Lizzy's bio Dad texted me asking if she could talk to him.  I decided to be honest and tell him that we had decided that that was not a good idea for her.

Enjoy the drama:


Him:  Hi .how is "lizzy"


Me:  She's fine.  Playing out in the snow with one of her sisters.


Him:  Oh u said u had more pics.     Think she can call


*insert pic I ran out in the snow to snap of her to send him so he can see her playing in the snow that I sent before I got his text asking about pics*


Him:  lol


Him:  Awwww I miss her



Me:  (in response to "can she call") No, she never asks to and I think it bums her out and I am done making her sad for other people's sake.  When she is older if she wants to I will let her call but rite now it feels like I am pushing it on her and I'm not doing that anymore.


*insert long pause here*


Me:  I will text u pics and stuff.  Like u mentioned while she was in foster care 'she is going to need therapy after all this'. Yes, she was traumatized by all of it and I am left to pick up the peices with her.  It isn't easy.  Basically she is happy go lucky until she talks to u or goes to the agency but for weeks after she talks to u she looses it and is in trouble all the time bcuz she doesn't know what to do with all those feelings.  I have to do what is best for her even tho it leaves u getting the short end of the stick as u have during this whole mess.  For that I am sorry.  I know it isn't fair.


Him:  no it's not.   The state stole my daughter.    I will be try to get something done now the law has changed...this is realy a bunch of bs...they couldn't prove me to be a bad father so they band me from her and everyone just let it happen.


* The law he is talking about is the law that, in our state, if you are married, but get get pregnant by someone who you are not married to, your legal husband becomes the legal father of that child and leaves the bio dad with no rights to the child.  Recently they did just change that law, but I don't know to what extent.  In Lizzy's case, the judge told bio dad that he had no more legal standing in the case than a stranger in the street because of that law.  Bio dad never tried to get a lawyer or anything to fight it and lest you think he was just a good guy who got screwed over, you should have seen how fast he was running from this case when they started talking about drug testing him.*


Him:  and i not blaming u or your husband ...but u knoe...how it was handled      have not seen her in over three years not by my choice


*it has been 1 year and about 3 months, but whose counting (the kid is only 4 years old)*



Me:   Trust me, no one knows better that me how much her mom messed up you and "Lizzy's" life.  I am doing the best I can and I know it isn't perfect.


Him:  I told you that it would end up like this...but im going to do some checking to see what can be done...cuz i miss my daughter an she acts out bcuz maybe she misses me     normal reaction i would think


Me:  yes, i do think it is normal after everything she has been thru.  i know it is hard to hear, but i am sure ripping her away from us would do an equal amount of damage at this point.  she loves us like she loved you.

Him:  Its not right that a child gets ripped from the one person that she could count on an never see them again either...i may not be rich or have money but i got a lot of love for my kids...and i do what i can to make things from them     Lizzy was very happy with me...and it was sad to watch this happen.   u know she couldn't wait to see me


Me:  I don't disagree with anything you said


Him:  So what would you do


Me:  I would stay in contact with me so she can get in contact with you when she wants to.  i will send pics more often.  i know its not what you wanted, but had we not adopted her she would have been adopted by strangers and you never would have seen her again.  we are trying to give you updates while letting her be a happy care free kid.


Him:   like she was before all this


Me:  exactly.  all i can do is try to give her that.


Him:  well i feel like im being punished for her mom's mistakes...let alone what about her brother...he misses her and asks me about her all the time


Me:  I understand


Him:  An ho figure tomorrow is my b day.  i just miss her so much


Me:  Now I understand more.  I don't know what to say.  I just wanted to be honest.


Him:  Well i know...we think of her all the time an it bring a tear to the eye ...and a ugly feeling in my gut


Him:  Her brother try to make me feel better...hes does his best


Me:  It would for me too.  Plz know I fully plan on her having a relationship with u when she is older.  It isnt easy to wait but she will when she is ready.  Her brother is a wonderful kid.





*This man has never actually been proved to be Lizzy's bio dad.  I believe she is because she looks like him.  When he talked about "looking into things" to try to get her back the mama bear in me came out and it was all I could do to not rip him a new one.  As you can see towards the end, his birthday is tomorrow and he was just missing the baby that he once knew.  There is nothing easy about foster care.*


Sunday, March 10, 2013

Bios.

Lizzy's bio dad decided to blow up my phone after asking me to have her call him and me ignoring him.


She is a mess after anything reminds her of her foster care days, including him.


I am getting to the point where I will probably tell him that she is ready to move on.  She doesn't ask for him or ask to call him.  I give her opportunities to talk about him and she has no interest.


I want her to be happy.  She is sure that I am her mom, my husband is her dad, we are her family...because we are.


I just was surprised that he decided to call me three times in a row to try to "make" me let him talk to her.


It just makes me want to push him away.



Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Timing.

Foster care, Adoption, Life in General is all about timing.

The sib group of 3 (turned 4) had a hearing review Monday.  I heard through the grape vine that our adoption worker got ripped a new one because things weren't as far along as they should be.  (The foster care worker we had when we first got the kids had not filed paper work that NEEDED to be done in order for our adoption worker to file the paper work she needed to, this basically added an additional two months onto our adoption).

So, that was Monday.  Tuesday basically everything came in that she needed for the day before in order for the judge to NOT be annoyed with her.

Gotta love being off by just one day.

The good news is that on Tuesday our adoption took a good two steps towards being done!

It looks like we will be doing the new baby's adoption separately from the other 3, but we may get them all done around the same time.  Hopefully!!!


Now here is the real question.

We are FULL.  Like, basically, OVER full.

Our license will expire in October/November.  Do we keep it open even though we can't take any more?

My gut says yes, but I really do wonder if there is any point.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Master Manipulator.

My newest 4 year old is a MASTER manipulator.

For example:

Today my three girls were taking turns playing with 2 doll highchairs.  When I said "In a couple minutes it will be time to trade" she handed one of the girls her highchair in hopes that when I said "It's time to trade" she would then get the highchair back again for another long turn.


Another example:

If she has something and I tell one of the other girls "I will go look for another one for you" she will all but throw the one she has at them so she can get the one I am going to go find because she knows she will want that one.


And lastly:

She watches every move me and my husband make.  As soon as we turn our backs she will do something she knows she would get in trouble for if we were watching.


That being said...

A week or two ago, when she was in trouble, I asked her if she was upset about her bio parents.  She said yes.  I felt bad so I let her off.

Now every time she is in trouble she says the same thing, "I want to go play at *insert bio family's names here* house".  She seriously does not remember her bio mom.  The only reason she knows her name is because I told her what her name was.  She does remember her bio dad, but I don't know to what extent.  She never talked about them at her old foster home.  I do think she likes talking about them so I will continue to let her, but I think she is playing me when it comes to her being in trouble and bringing it up.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Facebook.



I decided to make a facebook page.

I'm better about updating there now that I am covered in kids all day.

Join me?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Steps.

One of my "new" kids is a two yr old little girl.  She looks like my Sabrina from behind when Sabrina  was two.

Anyway, she is starting to treat me like mom.  She is starting to act like I'm her mom.


It's awesome.



Her bio sister who is four yrs old is now missing her old foster family.  She says she likes us all the same, as in, she likes us as much as the old foster family.

I think I will take that as a compliment even though it doesn't feel like one.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Sister. Via, the Internet.

Have you seen what is going on over at http://fosterhood.tumblr.com
?????????


I check her blog Every. Day.


You should too, and read all the past posts.


Anyway, she just got handed a newborn adoptable baby!!!!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Search.

Spent a few minutes tonight searching the Internet for two sisters that we fostered for 5 months.

I miss them.

I wish their mom had Facebook.

Or that they were up for adoption on a website.

Or something.

Wish I could fine them.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Monday, February 18, 2013

Adoption.

Paperwork is moving.  It looks like we will probably be able to finalize the baby with the other three, but only because the other three's case is taking longer than expected.

We basically had three months added onto this wait because the social worker at our agency didn't file the financial papers for our newest son when he should have.  He took forever to do it.

He is also the one who just quit.

Awesome.


Things are still moving, just slowed than I thought.  They are hoping to get consent back by early March and substity is submitted already.


It will be so awesome and so weird when this is over!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

It just isn't easy.

 "I can't see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown.” 

-Katie Davis


To every single one of you that is raising a child from "hard places",

God will not let us drown.

Not me.

Not you.

Not ever.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

This is not fair.

Yesterday I showed my newest 4 year old daughter a pic of her bio dad who she hasn't seen in around 9 months.

She happily exclaimed "Daddy!"


She has never really talked about him and I was curious if she remembered him.


Well, that was yesterday.


Today she did whatever she wanted (which didnt include listening to anything i had to say) lied and peed her pants.


Yeah.


So, after the peeing and lying I sat down with this little person while she was crying because she was on her way to bed for lying.


I asked her if she had been thinking abou him.  She said yes.  I asked, "what have you been thinking about him?"  She said, "I want to go to his house."  The long and short of it was that she misses him and would basically like to have a play date with him.


It is no fun to tell a 4 yr old the "home" she remembers doesn't exist anymore.  He doesn't live there, he doesn't have a house and he is not interested in being a dad right now.

I always tell her that they love her even if they chose not to do what they needed to to get the kids back.

The only thing I have come up with is offering to pray with the kids every night for their bio parents, by name.


This makes them feel better and they seem happy with it.

As we prayed tonight the tears went away and I think tomorrow will be better.


It is hard to know what these kids needs.  They remember so many things that I have no idea about.  I didn't do everything perfectly, but we are working on it as a family.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Sweet Baby.

Two people may have "given up" on you today, but soon, very very soon, two of the most stubborn people in the world will sign papers saying we will never ever ever give up on you.

You are a gift.

It's over.

Dad signed over his rights.


Mom never showed up s they terminated on her.


I am so thankful that it is over.

Termination.

So far it looks like dad is signing over his rights to our newest baby.

And, unless she showed up quite late, mom is a no show.


I am so waiting for those words...

She is legally free.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

You won!

Holly!  You are the winner!

Today has been interesting....in all the not so good ways.  Everything is fine with the case. Lets just say I got a call from the school about our newest son.


Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Fast.

This Wednesday is my tiny baby's TPR trial.

I can't wait for it to be over.

I can't wait for these adoptions to be done.

Seriously.

That will be awesome.


If you want to enter my give a way in the post below go for it.  I will end it on Monday night and pick a winner Tuesday.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

200 give a way.

Sorry, it's been a long day.

Ok, let's get this started.


Here is what we are going to do.  I am going to list 3 things that might have happened today.  You have to guess which of the 3 really happened today.  Everyone who guesses correctly will get their name thrown in a hat and I will pick a winner.


Here are the things that may or may not have happened.


1.  I had to clean poop up off the floor literally 1 minute after getting out of bed.

2.  My newest son wore his sister's skinny jeans to school on accident.

3.  I said, "please don't lick my foot."


You pick from those options:


A.  Only 1 and 3 are true

B.  Only 2 and 3 are true

C.  All of the above



Leave your answer in the comments.  Good luck!!!


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

200.

That feels better.  


Ok, so....what hoop to have you jump though to enter the give a way....





hovering.

I love that I am stuck at 199 followers.

Honestly.

It is cracking me up :)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Workers.

Today I got a call from the new baby's new worker.  The work she had for the past month and half has changed positions and let me know at her last home visit that we would be getting a new worker and gave me the new worker's number.


Today I got another phone call from our agency (the new baby only has a DHS worker).  It was my sib group of three's worker's supervisor.  She was calling to let me know that their worker, after 3 months, had quit.  She started the conversation with, "as I am sure he already told you..." And 8 was like...um no.  I had no idea.  She also told me she has no idea when we will be assigned a new worker and ...yeah.

I just told her that we are fine and to not worry about us.  At this point the foster care stuff is just maintenance.  The only thing I care about is how the adoption stuff is going and I talk with the adoption worker plenty.

So, to sum things up, we have an almost two month old that is on worker number two already and a case that is three months old that we now have no worker for?  Nice.


Hey!  Lets play a game!  How many workers have you gone thru in your current case?

Monday, February 4, 2013

Band aids.

Today the girls got into the cabinet in our half bath, found all of my pads, and then used them as band aids (i guess?) on their dolls.

Thanks guys.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

wanna win?


Once I reach 200 followers I am going to give away something.

I bet you will never be able to guess what it is.

This is my shameless threat encouragement to get you to follow me.

Proceed.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

spit.

Lizzy has been spitting.

And I have been loosing it.

I told her I am DONE with it.  If she did it again, no matter what time of day, she would have to stay in our dining room the WHOLE rest of the day by herself.

She decided to spit on my 2 1/2 year old at 3:45 pm yesterday.

So, she stayed in the dining room until dinner time.  She had dinner and then had to go right back in the dining room.

Yes, I felt like a monster.

But NOTHING gets to her.  She just does it again.

Towards 7:30 pm we let her come back out into the living room.

Shortly after she went to bed with all the other little ones.




She didn't spit on anyone today.


We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Brothers.

I love watching my sons become brothers.

That like each other.

That play together.

That are there for each other.


It is amazing.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Seven = busy

Having seven kids is crazy.


Six was fine.


Add in a newborn and holy cow...it's all over.



Everyday I think, "this would have been easier if I would have just said 'no, we can't take her'".


But that isn't me.


And that's not the way the story was supposed to go anyway.



There was a spot in my heart for this girl before I ever knew she existed.  And now, the thought of her leaving makes me feel empty.

Our house, holding only six kids, would feel empty.


Funny how quickly things change.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Counting down the days until the newest baby's termination trial....feb 13

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Seven.

It's midnight.


I'm holding number seven who has decided that it is time to start being a normal, fussy newborn.


I still feel like a foster mom.


And on paper I guess I am.


But, honestly, I am just mom.



I thought I might never get here.





There are still miles to go....


But we are getting there.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Monday, January 14, 2013

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Monday.

You know it's Monday in foster care land when your foster/adoptive son fakes a head ache in order to get the school to call you so you can pick him up.


He is NOT liking school.  He hasn't enjoyed one day I don't think.

He changed schools when he moved here.  After one week of our school I was called in and the 1 st grade teacher and the principal told me they thought he needed to be moved from 1 st grade back to kindergarten.  He was whining a lot in class and asked to go home a lot.  Often said he was tired.  So we moved him back to kindergarten.

He still is acting like it is too much.  He really just wants to stay home and play.

Obviously, his whole world has been flipped upside down so I am trying to be patient.


Then, this evening, now it is Wednesday btw, he had a little bit of homework.  He didn't tell me about it, but I asked.  My husband sat him down and hovered over him and watched him start to do the whole thing wrong just to hurry up and get it done.  He stopped him, corrected him and he finished the first section just fine.  In the second section he started to do the same thing again and my husband said "don't you dare" and he then went back to actually trying and did it all correctly like he is capable of.


He honestly just seems very lazy when it comes to everything having to do with school.  He is even lazy in his speech.  He actually has to go to speech therapy because his speech is quite bad BUT when we are at home we MAKE him speak correctly and he is able to.  I just told him that if he kept speaking in partial sentences and leaving out words the answer to his questions would always be no.  It is funny how quickly he started making an effort to speak correctly.


He really is a great kid.  I like him a lot.  He is funny.  He wants people to like him.  He wants to be included and have fun.  He can be kind and obeys quite well most of the time.

I have never had to deal with school stuff with anyone besides my bio son who hasn't had much of an issue so this is all new to me.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

tiny babies.

She has gained A LOT since being found by CPS though.  She was 4lbs 7 oz when they found her and she weighed 6 lbs 12 oz on Friday.

Yea!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

PRE trial

We had the PRE trial for our little Christmas surprise.  The goal is adoption.  Visits are suspended until the termination trial.  The termination trial should be between 3 - 5 wks from now.  They are terminating on both mom and dad.

Dad is claiming he isn't the bio dad.  It doesn't matter because regardless he is the legal dad.

The parents are throwing out all sorts of crazy stories.

Fun times in foster care.


I will be so excited once these adoptions are finalized!