Friday, December 28, 2012

Not always.

Most of the time foster care sucks.

Seriously.  It does.  One step forward, two steps back.

Broken promises.
Jerky social workers.
Bad decisions.
Heart breaks.
Hurt kids.

And in the middle of it are the moments that keep us in it.  The first smiles, the ridged hugs and eventually melt into cuddles, the love we have for a human we didn't even know existed 3 weeks ago, and sometimes the strangers that walk through our doors become family.

For 3 years foster care sucked for us.  We got hurt at every turn it seemed and the "smart" thing to do would have been to give up.  But those moments, those miracles, kept creeping in and kept me going even when my heart was broken in two.

We held on just long enough to see that, yes, our "PRE adoptive placement" that literally had a social worker demand that she be returned to her bios really was meant to be ours forever.      And then the miracles began to pour down on our unsuspecting heads.

Our 2nd bio was born.

Should 3 be enough?

Oh no, even the week before my c-section I found out 3 kids that I had fell in love with two years prior were finally available for adoption.  Red tape is no match for God, He certainly proved that when our 3 moved in.

And then, out of no where, we got a phone call.  The call we had hoped for from day one, but now we had six kids.  This phone call we got that would be our number 7 if we said yes, "should" have been our number 2 if our plans had gone as we wanted them to.  

Had our life gone as "planned" we would have our first bio and our first foster.

The end.

I can't imagine what I would be missing out on.  I shutter to think.

Because, numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6....the are amazing.  Life would not be the same without them.

It took my heart being broken to get them.

It took tears, frustration and a plan that was the complete opposite of mine to get them.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

But, I believe, He gives more than He takes away.
And when His blessing rain down...well, it has been a down pour.

Never give up.  That is what I have learned.  Never give up on the plan God has for you.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Friday, December 21, 2012

She's HOME!!!!!!!!!  Just wait until you here the story....

But, she is here and is OH so tiny :(  I can't wait to see some chub on her!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

we MIGHT be picking up a baby tomorrow.

you know how it is.

we will see...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

DHS called

they finally called...BUT they didn't call my agency to set things up.  :/  they just threw paper work together and fired it off to my social worker who has no authority to authorize any of this.

i called the placement director and told him that they said they wanted to borrow our bed.  he was mad that they never called the agency AND he said, that typically they don't let people "borrow their beds" basically they are all going to have to figure this out.

i gave our placement director the worker's name and #...the one who called me from DHS.  The person from DHS said that CPS wants this baby placed with us NOW, so that is good.

now we wait as my agency and DHS fight it out paper work style.  :(

i hope she is hope for Christmas, but am ready to accept that that may not happen.

Lizzy's Birthday.

Yes, the 17th was Lizzy's birthday.  She turned 4.  Holy acting out all before and after this day, but she throughly enjoyed her birthday party.  She loved her presents, her cupcakes, the decorations and now asks all the time if it "can be her birthday today".

Little stinker is putting me through it lately.  Around 9 pm last night I was ready to "give up" on her.  I guess by that I mean for the day give up...not for life like it sounds.

She is having a hard time adjusting to all this.  She LOVES the kids and LOVES playing with them, but her brain is telling her other things, like, "this is TOO much!  act like you were raised in a barn!"

We will get through it.  She wants to get through it, I can tell even she doesn't like some of what she is doing.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I guess we are waiting for that first court date, when kids are first removed, so that the county can get permission to moved the baby out of county.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Saturday, December 15, 2012


The baby is safe in a foster home in her county until they transfer her here.

I am guessing some time next week.

Friday, December 14, 2012


They found her/them.  Cps has the baby.  The are taking her to the dr because she is tiny and looks jaundice.  I don't know when she will come here.

Baby. A new one.

The bio mom of the 3 kids we are in the process of adopting had a baby.   About 4 days ago.

They called to ask if we would take her.

I could believe the words coming out of my mouth.

"Yes, we will take her."

Baby tested positive for marijuana in her system and because of the last three being terminated on they should have never let them take the baby home with them.

But they did.

So, now, we wait.

Bio mom listed her address as her dads address with the hospital and when cps went there dad (grandpa) said he hasn't even seen them.

Cps is looking for them.  We will see what happens from here.

In the mean's time to get a bigger car.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Dear Lizzy, no matter what behavior you throw at me I am going to keep trying to figure out how to parent you and I will spend my whole life trying to turn you into a functional member of society.  But, more importantly, I will try to show you how much God loves you and try to teach you how to love and follow HIM.

You are worth it.

Love, Mom

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Worth it.

Every child.

Every good bye.

Every heart ache.

Every tear.

Every sleepless night.

Every single one got me to where I am today.  It hurt.  It was hard.  But, the other side of it really is THAT good.