Friday, March 30, 2012


Pretty soon weWill be giving Joseph's old foster mom a call to talk to her about her sibling group of three.

I am nervous. Nervous that she may think it is a great idea, nervous that she may not.

Having a newborn in the house has changed everything, but it hasn't changed the fact that those kids need a home and if God wants us to parent them we are willing to even if we think it is a little crazy too.

Don't get me wrong, we don't think we are the answer for these kids...we really are just willing. If it ends up being a closed door we would be at peace with it...probably disappointed mixed with relief....but more so at peace.

But, if God wants them here we will be excited, overwhelmed, thankful and terrified all at once...but, yet again, covered in God's peace.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I have been using a breast pump once in a while. Lizzy calls it a nipple pump and is pretty sure it looks fun enough to try out.

That won't be happening, but her calling it a nipple pump cracks me up every time.

Thursday, March 22, 2012


It's late.

I'm trying to decide if I should just stay up until baby k wakes up to eat.

The day before my c section Lizzy had a hearing. I didn't go...they were supposed to call me and let me participate by phone. I never got a call...luckily i was a bit too distracted to worry about it.

The judge wants Lizzy's adoption done by summer, this summer. It will be interesting to see if that happens.

No one has appealed.

No relative has come forward.

Lizzy's bio dad called me Wednesday. I didn't feel like answering the phone so I didnt. He didn't leave a message.

Lizzy is doing good with the baby, a bit of three year old jealousy, but nothing big at all. She likes her "baby sisser" as she calls baby k.

I spoke with her adoption worker and asked that when she amends our home study that she
leaves room in there for the sib group of three I know, just on case. I haven't looked into that at all anymore. I wil be calling their foster mom soon though. We'll see.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


I will never forget the evening my first foster daughter left.

I will never forget the morning my first biological daughter was born.

"...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
-Ps. 30:5

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Shes here! Once I figure out how to post pics from the iPad I will. We are doing great, she is everything I hoped she would be. Thank you for the prayers!

Thursday, March 15, 2012


In less than 12 hours I will be leaving to go to the hospital. I am very nervous and excited :)

You know what I was thinking about today? I was thinking about Lizzy's termination trial. Some people wait for their foster children to come just like other people wait for their children to be born the old fashion way. I always thought I would stand in a court room and agree to parent a child that I didn't give birth to as if they were my own WAY before I would be back in the delivery room.

God had other plans.

But, anyway, I would have to say that at the termination I felt the same way as I did when I saw that positive pregnancy test. Before that I always held back hoping to adopt Lizzy because I just do NOT trust the court system to do what is best for the child. When they said TERMINATED I cried...just like I did when I saw that pink line back in July of 2011.

It really felt the same to me...I guess finalization with be like the birth...but she is already here, I already know her and I already love her (that part is the same I guess) :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I'm still here...getting ready to go to the hospital on Friday super early for my c section.

I have three different people watching Lizzy while I am gone. My in laws the first day, my sister the next and a friend from church the next. I hope they let me come home on Sunday but who knows what will go on. I have different people watching her because she is a bit some people.

I don't have a hard time with her besides the occasional fit in public that embarrasses me, but she tends to listen to me and tune everyone else out. I think she will be good for the people watching her. She knows them and likes them. I hope that she has enough fun that she wont be a brat. :)

And for all of you wondering, no, none of these people had to be approved to watch her by my agency or go to a CPR class. You know, I have never even been required to go to a CPR class. Apparently at my agency I am allowed to Leave the kids with anyone I deem fit. Yeah, I know. But, it does make things easier on me in this situation.

Monday, March 12, 2012


Today I was sitting around thinking. A very uncomplicated unhormonal thing to do when you are almost 39 weeks pregnant.

A lot of you have mentioned that you would change your phone number if you were me because of Lizzy's bio family having it and acting nutty all the time.

I, because I guess i don't want anyone mad at me, keep thinking about telling them that we either decided not to adopt her or that she was placed with someone else. Yes, total lies. I don't know why that seems easier to me, but it does.

I'm not going to, but that often sounds like a good solution to me...

Saturday, March 10, 2012


I had a friend ask me "How do you integrate your new kids into your family". They may not have been looking for the answers that I gave, but it made me remember something.

I have only taken kids 15 months old to 4 years old. I never have gotten a baby call that panned out. Anyway, I have found with every placement when they walk through the door we almost immediately break out the play dough.

I think this has saved me many tears over the years because:

-It takes their minds off of what is going on.
Play dough is not something that I break out every day and I assume the same of most people. So it is novel to the kids, including mine I already have here.

-Everyone, even adults, can sit down and play with play dough.
It is a great way to cautiously interact with the kids without being in their face or offering them toy after toy they don't want from you.

-It is a sensory item.
Some things are just soothing...squishing play dough seems to be soothing to most kids.

I have only had one child reject the play dough immediately and he had diagnosed mental issues that I am assuming played into that. His theory was to cry...for a very long time. All my kids that did not have extreme mental issues loved the play dough.

And after play dough break out the snacks. I always assume my kids are hungry.

Just thought I would throw this out there. Do you guys have anything you do that seems to work out great for those first few hours of a new placement?

Friday, March 9, 2012


Do you guys ever see these crazy ads on Facebook about becoming a social worker? Every time it is the oddest picture of a child ever.

Just sayin'.

Thursday, March 8, 2012


1 week from tomorrow I will be having a c-section and finally meeting this little girl inside of me!!!

If she stays put that long :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I win.

Well, at least I am not the only one driving these kids to these visits. Sometimes I feel like I am. I have always hated that at our agency the bio family AND the foster family come in the same door and park in the same tiny parking lot...seriously, there should be some type of privacy available to us foster parents and our license plates don't you think?

BUT...I would not like having the kids transported I don't think. I would feel SO out of the loop!

Anyway, I am curious...when was the first time you found yourself finally standing up for yourself or family when it came to your child's social worker?

I remember two of mine very clearly:

1. Lizzy's 2010 Christmas visit with her bios. Her lawyer called me right after court and told me that he had approved a visit on Christmas as long as she did not spend the night with them, and if I could not transport she was not going.

Well, Lizzy's nasty social worker called me up and told me that she was going to have a 3 hour visit with her bios on Christmas that I had to transport for.

I said "No." I think she was pretty surprised. I told her I was not ruining my family's Christmas by having the whole day revolve around a visit in the middle of the day. I told her she could either go there first thing in the morning and stay all day or she wasn't going.

You should have heard her try to bully me. I got to the point where I just repeated the same thing: "It is our Christmas too."

Eventually she gave in and agree to doing it exactly the way I wanted.

Ha ha, I had finally won one.

2. I can't remember if this was before or after the 2010 Christmas, but I took Lizzy to a visit with her legal dad. When it was time for her to go in with him she started screaming because she was scared and her face was literally turning blue from crying so hard. I got so mad I finally said very loudly "THIS IS NOT RIGHT!"

They did still drag her into the visit, BUT that incident led to this issue being brought before the judge and "ha ha" I won again. It was court ordered that the workers could not make Lizzy go in there kicking and screaming. If she wanted me to go into the visit with her I was allowed to go in with her. If she was just fine and wanted to go in then she went in by herself.

It wasn't extremely simple though, before this was in front of the judge, the day I through a fit the social worker tattled on me to the people above her. They called me in the office and tried to tell me that this was what they had to do. I explained the situation further PLUS told them about all the inappropriate things this social worker had been doing and by the end of it they told me to "please don't feel like you are in trouble because you are not at all and we will be talking with the social worker about these issues."

Once we had the court hearing I was probably very smug because I had gotten what I wanted ...I hated that social worker. She literally almost ruined Lizzy's life.

About a year ago she left the agency (BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN) and suddenly everyone is very open to talking about what a horrible social worker she was, the other workers and foster parents alike. They should have fired her.

So, what FINALLY had to happen for you to freak out and say "No, that is NOT going to happen!" ????

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bios and Visits.

At the agency I am with we are "required" to transport the children we accept as placements to and from their visits with their bios. When I was in training I asked "So we will ONLY be asked to bring them HERE to the AGENCY correct?" and they said yes.

For the most part that was the case. If I was willing to meet them some where else that the social worker approved of then we would do that as well.

So, when we arrived at said visits I would be handing the child off to their parents, not to a social worker and leaving. We had to stay with them until the parents arrived. Sometimes that would mean waiting in the small waiting room with the child and their bio parent for the social worker to come out and get the parents and child. So, if the parents showed up for visits I had A LOT of face time with them.

Over all I am happy that it is this way. I would see the worker almost every week so I could ask them questions. I got to know the bios and...well, all the bios I have had like to talk and I listen because it helps me understand where these kids came from.

Anyway, I love hearing what everyone else experiences, so tell me...

Do you transport? Are you allowed to transport?

Do you get to see these bio parents? Are you ever awkwardly stuck in a waiting room with them talking about goodness knows what that day?

I would love to know...

Monday, March 5, 2012


Lizzy's adoption worker and social worker came over today. Lizzy was being...not so nice before they got here. After they go here she actually was very nice to both of them and appeared to be sweet little girl. Good job stinker. :)

There is not much to note, everything is going as planned. The adoption worker has a lot done and the foster care worker is just monitoring really.

My favorite quote from today was:

"I am going to make it look like I searched for a relative to adopt her, but I'm not going to be looking any further. If she is in a stable home that wants to adopt her that is what I want."

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Yes, I am a bit out of my mind.

I have been a little quiet because I have been thinking about somethings that I am not sure I am ready to put out there yet...but it is foster care related so I guess I will mention it.

Over a year ago we almost adopted a little boy named Joseph. We went through all the paper work and actions to move him from his foster home to our home including having him for several vists at our home including having him for Christmas in 2010.

After our Christmas visit both my husband and I fessed up to each other that we were not sure we wanted to parent him. We felt no connection to him which was odd considering it was not hard for us to fall in love with our foster children instantly. I was the one who brought it up and when my husband echoed my thoughts I knew it was over. We called the next day and pulled out of the adoption.

When we did this the worker on our end gave us a very hard time about it and said "they" (our agency) would probably never offer us another adoptable child and we would probably need to only adopt children we fostered. I told her that I didn't care what they did because I would not be adopting a child I didn't think I should.

Ironically Lizzy's case has been turned over to this worker. I can tell she doesn't harbour any resentment over the last situation like you would think she would. We have talked several times even before she was given Lizzy's case and after seeing three families after decide not to adopt Joseph as well she understood where we were coming from.

Anyway, when we went to meet Joseph for the first time at his foster home we also met his three new foster siblings that his foster mom had taken in. As we walked out the door with Joseph I had the weirdest feeling that I was visiting with the wrong child. I wanted to be taking the new sibling group of three out with us, not Joseph. As we left my husband even turned around and said to the foster mom, "Let us know if they ever come up for adoption.". Which is not very like my husband.

Since deciding not to adopt joseph i have stayed in contact with his old foster mom. He has been adopted, but I continue to keep my relationship with his foster mom. I have listened to her tell stories of how the three are doing all this time. They have been with her this whole time....and now it looks like their case should be going to termination soon.

There is no family to adopt them from what I can tell and their foster mom doesn't adopt anymore...and my hubby and I are wondering what we want to do about all of this if they are available for adoption. When ever we talk about we have a peace...if they do become available we will be sending our homestudy over. If nothing happens nothing happens....and that will be fine too.

And yes, I am scheduled to have a c-section in two weeks to bring our second biological child into the world AND have been filling out adoption paper work for Lizzy.

Thinking about adopting three more would only make sense, right?

Thursday, March 1, 2012


Lizzy's adoption worker called:

"Um, there is one issue. Lizzy doesn't have any reason to qualify for Medicaid that I can find in paper work."


Me: "Well, either way we are going through with the adoption. We will just put her on our insurance. If I find any paper work to help you request medicaid for her I will let you know. Besides that lets just keep going."