Monday, July 29, 2013

Nothing about foster care is easy.

This past weekend Sabrina spent two nights at our home.  This was a REALLY big deal.  She had not been to our home since the social worker put Sabrina in her car and drove away to return Sabrina to her biological mother.  

That, honestly, was one of the worst days of my life.  I stood in the driveway looking at my first daughter thru the car window and cried.  I never would have dreamed that 2 1/2 years later I would have a good enough relationship with her mom that her mom would let her come over for a whole weekend.

But, we have made it. 

Sabrina has been very clingy to her bio mom ever since being returned to her, which is very understandable.  They have tried to get Sabrina to spend the night at a relative's house or a friend's house, but once bedtime comes she always asks/begs to go home.  I am so thrilled to say she had NO issues at our house.  She spend TWO nights and went to sleep without any issue.  We just played all weekend and she fit right in, for the most part.

She wasn't clingy with me, she played with our kids most of the time and acted like she felt comfortable.  When I would tuck the kids in for bed and hug and kiss and tell them I loved them, she lit up when it was her turn.

Seriously, I couldn't believe I got to that again.  I tucked that sweet baby in for 16 months and cuddled her every night.  And, then she was gone.  Being able to do that again was such a gift.

I have more to tell, but I am so happy to report that we had a great time and, sometimes, foster care does have a happy ending, even if it isn't the ending we hoped for.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Nerves.

Tomorrow I am picking up my first foster child and bringing her back to our house to spend the night for a couple nights.

She hasn't been here in close to two and a half years.

The whole house is different.  (Redecorated)

I am not her mom anymore.

She doesn't like spending the night anywhere away from her mom.

I have seven kids now.

Two of them are babies.

I am excited and freaking out.


I hope everything goes well.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Everything.

yesterday we signed the legal papers that needed to be signed in order to finish our adoption of our 7 mo. old baby girl. within 30 days it should be finalized. we decided to not request a hearing. we just want them to sign the paperwork and for this to be done!



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 in other news...i asked Sabrina's mom if she could come over for a couple days. (Sabrina was my first foster child) Her mom said yes! this is the first time in 2 1/2 years that we will see Sabrina without her mom there. that is a big deal. i never wanted to scare her mom off by asking if she could come over by herself but, i figured, "what do i have to loose?" so, she said she is fine with it. unless something changes, we will be picking her up on friday and she will be staying until sunday. i hope everything goes well. i am nervous :) i am worried she will freak out and want to go home at bed time. i am sure it will be fine, but i just worry i guess.



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 remember when i had you guys vote on a "hypothetical" name of a foster care book? well, things are moving along and there will be a book authored by me and 13-14 of your other favorite bloggers. I am so excited for it to be done! The stories have been written and now we are editing it! it really is THE book i was always looking for when i was in the beginning stages of becoming a foster parent. i wanted a book about CURRENT foster cases that told the DETAILS of what it is like to foster. I am so excited to know that a book like that WILL exist VERY soon!!!!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Triggers.

I had no idea when I woke up this morning that Miracle Whip and bread would trigger one of my kids.

Today I was making lunch and had the Miracle Whip out on the counter.  The kids had actually already eaten their lunch and I was making my husband and I's lunch.  My 6-year-old newly adopted son walked up and said, "I love that." Gesturing toward the Miracle Whip.  He is a very picky eater so i was skeptical.

I asked, "what do you like it with?"

He said bread.  I asked if he like it with bread, cheese, and turkey or ham.  He said, no, just bread.  I didnt really believe he knew what he was talking about, especially, because he was calling the Miracle Whip "whip cream".  He has also has called butter "whip cream" so I didn't know if he even knew what he was talking a bout at all.

So, I slathered a light  layer of Miracle Whip onto a piece of bread and topped it with another peice of bread.

Yuck.

As I was doing this, my 5-year-old newly adopted daughter saw what i was doing and said, "can I have what J.J. Is having?"

I vomited in my mouth a little and told her yes.  I cut the horrific "sandwich" I had just made in half and handed half to J.J. And half to my daughter.

They tore into those sandwiches.

I immediately asked, "who used to make this for you?!?"

They both said, "Lucy!" (Their 14 year old foster sister that they lived with for around two years.)

Oh my word.

Anyway, in all honesty, this story is not about how my kids were fed Miracle Whip sandwiches at their old foster home.  And liked it.

As the day progresses, after the kids ate those monstrosities, my 5-year-old daughter, who ate the sandwich of death, started to get very crabby.

And pouted.

About everything.

Until I sent her to bed.

It took me a little while to figure it out but, I finally figured it out.

Ah, yes.  Crazy sandwich = memories of her last "family"

And she misses them.

Thus, she pouts at me about anything and everything i say or do for the rest of the day.

Because she misses them, and she's five and that is how she handles it. Things have actually be going great, but that does not mean that the life she lived before us and without us doesn't effect her. She is a good girl and tomorrow is a new day. Someday, Miracle Whip and bread sandwiches won't ruin her whole day.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Blech.

Well, I no longer have any dreams of finalizing in July.


This better happen in August.

Just sayin'.


;)