Monday, January 30, 2012

Running.

Went to see Sabrina this weekend. I'll talk about that later, we had a good time though.

Well, this weekend marked 2 weekends in a row Lizzy's bio mom and bio dad did not call to see how she is doing. I did tell them they can't talk to her on the phone anymore...doesn't mean they couldn't call to check on her...to each their own.

Tomorrow Lizzy's social worker and adoption worker are coming over. Her adoption worker is her old social worker, I am excited about that.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fun.

Um...so...apparently pregnancy has some how taken the filter off my mouth. The more pregnant I get the more I say what I think needs to be said...rather than the version that goes through my every day filter.

Since being pregnant I have told Lizzy's bio mom that "You KNOW that if you sign over your rights to Lizzy no one is giving her back to you. Not me, not the state, not anyone right?!?!"

I also went off on her great aunt who kept talking about trying to get some family member out of state to adopt Lizzy. It went something like "You need to STOP trying to give this kid to strangers. She does not know them, she doesn't not remember them and she thinks that WE are her family. How is that fair to her?!?!"

And then there was the last time I talked to her bio dad "You can believe all these crazy people who DIDN'T EVER SHOW UP TO COURT TODAY TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED or you can listen to me who was the first one there and the last one to leave...." and it just went from there.

Yeah...I usually am not like that. Never ever ever said anything like that to Sabrina's family. Every one of the instances I mentioned above were while I was pregnant.

Anyway, so today I took Lizzy to a salvation army. We were walking down the glass aisle, they had a very long one, and every 30 seconds I would say "Don't touch anything" and pull her close to me. Literally just about every step I took I did this. Well, we got down right by one of the workers and Lizzy manages to touch a plastic globe that then falls to the hard floor and breaks clean in half so that the water and stuff falls out.

The older worker lady says to me "That's why she shouldn't be touching stuff" very snottily as she walks away to get a mop. Usually I would just ignore that. But...as I said, no filter. I immediately said loudly to her as she walked away "That is why I HAVE BEEN telling her to not touch anything every 30 seconds."

Yeah, I know, I didn't have to say that, but you know what? This kid is a spaz and she is doing so much better than she used to. What she touch must have been very close to the edge because she just barely touched it in the first place and she obviously didn't mean to break it.

So, old crabby store lady, was your goal to make me feel like crap or the 3 year old who has been through hell and back in her 3 years here on earth?

You will be shocked to know that when the lady came back she was MUCH nicer. I did apologize like 3 times for her breaking it once crabby stopped being a jerk.

I'm sorry, but I am truly doing my best. Lizzy still humiliates me at least once while we are out almost EVERY time we go out. She will get crying about something and is very loud and hard to stop. It has been very hard for me all this time to deal with it because I feel like it reflects so badly on me. If only everyone could see the progress she has made...not just what she STILL does.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Oh Lizzy.

You know, life after TPR is so much easier. No visits (I HAVE BEEN DOING VISITS WITH BIO PARENTS FOR AROUND 3 YEARS STRAIGHT!)....gosh, just the fact that there are no visit has changed so much around here.

I can't believe the stress that was attached to those visits! I can't really even explain how horrible it is to have to take your (foster) child to a visit with someone they are scared of, don't want to be alone with, and that is a danger to their long term care.

It is just so crazy.

Since the TPR Trial I have not heard from anyone, as in the social workers and such. I believe very much that mom and dad will NOT appeal, but once the time is up...well, I guess I will just check that off my list. Excited for the adoption paper work to start.

Lizzy's next hearing, to make sure that the adoption is moving along, is the day before my scheduled c-section. Hopefully we will have a bit of progress by then.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Time.


Back, going on two years ago now, I had a different blog and right before I shut it down I also went to my agency and picked up a little 18 mo. old girl named Lizzy.

After a few weeks in I wrote this:




Who would have thought we would go through so much? Who would have thought it would all come to a screeching halt? Who would have thought I would be 7 mo. pregnant when they terminated her parents rights?


Who would have thought?


Only God. Only God.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Busy.

Man, it is crazy busy around here. Nothing foster care related, but as I move into the 7 1/2 months pregnant club it seems like things are going at warp speed.

Lizzy's bio parents usually call every weekend to "check" on her or talk to her.

They didn't this weekend.

I think that might be very telling as to what is going on on their end.


Friday, January 20, 2012

Up.

Above this post is a button that you can click that says "Foster Blogs".

I have been so blessed to "meet" so many foster mom who have had my back through every tough decision, phone call and situation foster care has presented me - along with that they have also rejoiced with me over new foster kids and on the good days when my kids' cases finally took a good turn.

I love these ladies and I am so happy I met all of them. When I first started out in the blog world I just happened to stumble upon a foster blog and couldn't read enough. I had finally found a sister in this world of fostering.

Anyway, if you would like your blog listed on my page for other people to find please leave me a comment with a link to your blog (and if you want a little note about yourself) and I will add you to my page.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Calls.

I have kind of been a pain in the butt to my agency. I cannot make up my mind about what kind/age of child would work for us right now.

At first I said "only babies" - which I got no calls for.

Then I thought that the only age that would work would be a girl between 3-4 yrs because...well, I HAVE a newborn on the way. (2 months to go!) So, I told them that.

About a month (felt like 2) after I told them about the 3-4 yr old girl theory they called me. They had a 5 year old girl that was in a foster home that was closing their license. Her brother has already been signed over to his dad (apparently not her dad) and her mom only comes to about half of her visits, thus, looking like she would be adoptable. THEN they told me that because of the severe neglect in her bio home she is in speech therapy because no one can really understand her, she is NOT fully potty trained, and is delayed...probably is around the developmental age of a 2 or 3 year old.

The first half sounded great-ish. The second half not so much.

I am so sick of older kids in diapers. If it's a baby I understand, but 3-4 year olds in diapers is starting to get to me. Lizzy included. I would say she is around 60% potty trained, but she is not moving forward because she wants to, it is because we are making her. Imagining a 5 year old in diapers is just more than I can bare right now.

I told the home finder that I didn't think I have time to put in the work this child will need to reach the developmental steps that she needs to start meeting, and I meant it. I also do NOT want to have to have another child move because I couldn't say no and I told him that too. If I can I will avoid that mistake. I HATE having kids moved.

So, that is the last phone call I got. This is foster care. That is a very normal call to get:

-Over your age limit

-Needing more help than you agreed to

-Needing to say no and not wanting to


The good part is that you can say no. You have to make sure you are willing to jump in and try to make this work, not let a child come to your home to see if it will work because having a child move should be even our last resort.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

After shock.

I never mentioned what happened after I got out of the court room on the day Lizzy's parental rights were terminated.

I got home and for a while it was quiet.

Then, I got a text from Lizzy's mom:

"So, what happened in court?"


I replied:

"I was told that I cannot let you or legal dad see her or talk to her on the phone or I will get in trouble. They did not reschedule the trial. They went ahead and had it today and basically you don't have to do anything because your part in this is over."


She wrote back:

"Bio dad is right, I am a bad mom."


I wrote back:


"You are not a bad mom. You knew that you couldn't take care of her right now and she needs someone who can."


That was the end of it for that day. When I read my first response to her to my hubby he started laughing. I was like, what? He thought it sounded pretty harsh. I told my sister and she thought it was putting it nicely...I was trying to be nice. I also didn't feel it was my place to say, "Your rights have been terminated", but maybe I should have...I don't know. I also am not really supposed to tell people about what happens to these people in court so I didn't tell her that they terminated legal dad's rights too. I don't know, I just said what I said.


Then Bio Dad calls.

He calls, asks what is going on and I kinda beat around the bush about it. Yet again, not my place PLUS...I don't think it is his business anymore. If he wanted to know what was going on all the time he should have stuck around, don't you think? Anyway, eventually he specifically asked if there was court today and I said yes. Then he told me that bio/legal mom called her aunts who in turn blew up his phone telling him he needed to call the court house because all he had to do was prove paternity and he could get Lizzy back.

Ugghhh.


I told him that FIRST OF ALL, none of those people, including bio/legal mom, were in court today. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED because they weren't there and, as we all know, mom wouldn't even "waste her cell phone minutes" in order to see what happened. He then told me the names and phone numbers of the people the Aunts had given him. I told him that I had never heard of one of them and the other one was the social worker that originally had the case THAT ISN'T EVEN A SOCIAL WORKER ANYMORE.

He said, "Oh, that must be why she never calls me back."

I kinda of went on a rant about how he could look into anything he wanted BUT these Aunts were sending him on a wild goose chase that they knew nothing about. He went on a rant, not directed at me, about the system and how nothing is fair...same conversation that we have had like 50 times.

I am over it. I gave them ALL every chance...the chances have run out. I did tell him that the state was "terminating" both of their rights, mom and legal dad. I made it sound like it was in the process (which it has been for months now), I didn't say "They terminated them today".

I am not going to give people (legal or bio family) anymore information on this case. They have spent the last 2 years trying to give this kid to people who are obscure relatives to all of them. I actually ended up telling one of the Aunts that she needed to quit trying to give this kid to strangers just so she can "be with family".

I am SICK of people wanting these kids to stay with "family" so badly that they are willing to rip their lives apart AGAIN...and for what? I just don't understand.


A few days later I got a text from mom:

"Send me some pics of Lizzy"

which I ignored.

The next day I got a text from her that said:

"You can uh sen me some pic of Lizzy"


I texted back:

"Are you asking me or telling me because I can't tell"


She wrote back:

"Asking"


So I sent her a couple old pictures where Lizzy is pretty unidentifiable.

We will see what happens from here. She did say thank you, by the way.


Monday, January 16, 2012

Serious.

I forgot to add that after we were off the record the judge made sure to tell me if I had any issue with Lizzy's parents I should let her know immediately so she can issue me a personal protection order on them.

I was serious when I said she was amazing.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Continuous.




"I just couldn't do it, I just couldn't give them back."

I hear that VERY often when I tell anyone I am a foster parent.

It is like, by saying that, they are excusing themselves from the feelings that they feel when they find out someone else stepped up and did this sucky foster care thing and they didn't.

Obviously, fostering is not for everyone or right for everyone...

BUT to all you people that say this to me, with out any honest good reason,

(like you have already lost a child, have been there and done it with a relative placement, are having issues with fertility, ect.)


I just have to say...Shut up.

You have no idea who you are talking to, what I have been through or what you are even saying.

Do you think I felt like I could give my first daughter back to her mom without dealing with the grief of it every day for the rest of my life?

I can't do it either. I just do because it is either do it or go to jail basically.

What you don't understand is that I knew the risk and decided that my kids would be worth it. Period.

And they have been. Every single one of them.

What you don't realize is that by me deciding to take care of these kids and love them like my own even though in the end I am the one that looses them I am taking every bit of pain off of them that I can and even then they still go through more than any child should. Ever.

That is what I have to offer them. I keep them safe. I stand up for them (even though I am ignored on a regular basis). I feed them. I play with them. I make them smile. I kiss their boo boos. I put them in their comfy beds. AND IT IS MY HONOR TO DO IT.

And what do you offer? Nothing. You offer an off hand comment that excuses you from any of this, including helping any of them, because you would "love them to much to let them go"? And for the record, that makes us feel like you are saying we are so cold and heartless that we can actually even do this in the first place.

So, "you love them so much" from afar while they end up in crappy foster homes who only do it for the money.

Way to show your love.

If you can't foster, don't.

But, if you are the "We couldn't let them go" people...consider helping someone who HAS put themselves right where you DON'T want to be.

Pay special attention to the kids when you see them.

Babysit for the family.

Offer to pray AND REALLY DO IT!

Bring a meal when the family gets a new placement.

Help with the kids when you see foster mom has her hands full.


I would say for every comment I get like that I also have one person in my life that doesn't foster, but truly loves my kids and blesses me like crazy. I don't think everyone should foster and I don't think ANYONE should foster out of guilt, but quit making excuses for yourself and just do what God called YOU to do...and stop talking to me about why you couldn't possible do what I do...'cuz it makes me want to tell you to "shut up".

Friday, January 13, 2012

O My Word.

Court was everything I thought it would be and NOTHING like I thought it would be.

I pulled into the parking lot and who should call me but bio mom.

Her: "What is Lizzy doing?"

Me: "She is at home with my husband because I am at your trial."

Her: "Oh, was that today? My lawyer called me, but I didn't answer because I told her I was done with this."

I assumed she wasn't coming before this phone call, but the "Oh, was that today"...that kinda annoyed me.


I arrived quite early and watched all the lawyer and social workers trickle in. I sat in the waiting room and chatted with both workers that came from my agency (they were early! I was thrilled!) and then a little after 10 am, when the trial was supposed to start, someone on the loud speaker called all the lawyers into the court room. 40 minutes later (10:40 am now) we found out all that time was to try to reach there clients (bio mom and legal dad) who had not shown up. As we found out what was going on we could hear bio mom screaming on the phone on speaker phone. We were in the waiting room-she was on the phone in the court room and we could still hear her. Her lawyer asked her if she would like to participate by phone.

Mom said: "Will you guys reimburse me for all my phone minutes because I am not using them up for this trial. My mom is dying right now and no one cares. I didn't have a ride up there. Can we reschedule this hearing? I did everything I had to do and you won't give my kid back."

...and then hangs up on her lawyer.


Legal Dad's lawyer tries to call him, but his phone has been disconnected. She said she has tried to call him before the hearing, but could not reach him at that time either. She sent him letters in the mail, but got no response. Bio Mom and Legal Dad were both served in person with court orders to appear in court so there is proof that they were made aware of what was going on.


So, we all go into the court room. I assumed that Mom's lawyer and Dad's lawyer would just stay and represent them. Instead, the judge said that based on their clients actions they had the option to withdraw from the case if they wanted...and they did. They left the room two minutes into the trial and are no longer representing them at all. (from what I hear this is good because if they want to appeal they will have to get their own lawyers-don't quote me on that).


Then, the DHS worker called his first witness, Lizzy's worker that wrote the termination petition. They went through the WHOLE petition and verified everything that was written in it. Then, they had the current worker on the stand verify all the current information. It was very detailed. Lizzy lawyer verified a few things just to make sure they were put on record.

The two biggest things that "made the case" was the lack of consistent visitation on both of their parts even when the agency provided transportation to both of them and their lack of stable housing. Mom has been moving from house to house and dad's house is in foreclosure.

There were MANY other things brought up.

Mom:
Mental Heath
Use of Drugs
Volatile Temperament
Lying
Lack of Completing Services
Refusing to take Drug Tests

Dad:
Lack of Relationship with the child
POOR Hygiene
No Income
Lack of Completing Services


It went on and on. My favorite was when the judge specifically brought up Lizzy having fleas on her after her visits with her Legal dad and a dead mouse being found in a bag of clothing he gave me for her. She said, "What kind of house IS this?!?!"

So, after they heard from both social workers the judge went over Petition to Terminate AGAIN word for word (all 4 pages) and the Judge corrected about 4 sentences in it. Then she brought up every law that pertained to this case and why it would apply in order for her to go ahead and terminate the rights of each parent.

She then said that it was BEYOND reasonable doubt that both of these parents should not even be alone with this child, forget about returning her to them. She went as far to say that even letting them see her in a room supervised by another person present some risk of harm to the child...and then she terminated their parental rights.

And I got all teary.

It had been hard for me to listen to all of it. We have been through so much. For it to all be over was just too surreal.

She then asked if we would like to end this trial and have the Post Termination Hearing right then and there. Everyone said yes.

She asked me if I would come up front by her and as I got up from my chair, 7 months pregnant and all, I started crying. I apologized and said I was sorry I was so emotional. She offered me a tissue and smiled at me and said she understood.

She then chatted with the social workers about what needed to happen in order for us to adopt Lizzy, and about how she didn't want it to take long. I asked how long they had to appeal and it sounds like if a few months we will be safe and sound. I guess in 14 days they start the adoption process even if anyone wants to appeal or not.

At the end I told her thank you. She said, "No, thank you. I would have never let this drag out if about half way through it looked like mom might pull it together, but now it is done. Thank you for sticking it out."

I have seen this judge in court three times. She is a total Judge Judy and I wouldn't want to be on her bad side. Seeing her face change as soon as we were talking about adoption was priceless. You can tell she likes that part of her job. She was so sweet and told me that I didn't need to drive out there for the hearings anymore, but I was always more than welcome in her court room. She said that they will let me be on speaker phone for the other hearings if I want and she wants me to feel free to tell her any concerns I have with how the adoption is progressing. She was so sweet to me.

It truly was amazing.

Lizzy has been set free.

And I know God did that.


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Today.

To answer my own question:

It took two hours and that was with BOTH parents not showing up for court.


LIZZY'S PARENTAL RIGHTS HAVE BEEN TERMINATED!!!!

I will write more tomorrow.

Thank you for the prayers guys, God moved! If you pray, He heard you.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sigh...

It's normal to have to call around to the social workers and lawyers to see if they know about the trial, right?

Thankfully they all acted like they knew.

But, the social worker called in sick today...so if she is sick tomorrow I don't know who is coming in her place. I talked to her supervisor and at least she has put two and two together now and knows if the social worker can't come she needs to have someone else come.


From what I hear this may be an all day thing (her lawyer said probably just one day though) and it will go much quicker if the bios/legals don't show up. I don't think mom plans on attending and will be very interested to see if legal dad does...

Curious.

I know that it depends on the case and that every trial is different for very different reasons, but if you have been to a termination trial, how long was it for...I mean how many hours per day did it last for?

And this.

The same week at we have trial for parental termination for our foster daughter who we have parented for the last 19 months we get to see this:
Our first glimpse of what our newest baby girl will (kinda sorta) look like.

We are planning on her making her entrance into the world in the very middle of March. It will be here before we know it.


Tomorrow is the big day! I will tell you how it goes....

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Anxious.

Thursday is coming quickly...

...and if you know kids with traumatic backgrounds, you know what I mean when I say Lizzy is acting as if she KNOWS what is about to happen.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Termination.

Lizzy's termination trial is THIS thursday. That seems just crazy, but I am just a big ball of emotion over it.

I had a dream about her legal dad last night. He was walking through our yard and he kept trying to open our doors to come in and Lizzy and my two foster girls I had back at the beginning of the year, kept open all the doors some how and kept getting outside when he was around.

Can you tell he stresses me out?

I am SO interested to see/hear/experience what goes on in the court room at one of these trials. I doubt either of the parents will so up. If I had to pick one to show up it would be the legal dad. I hope so much they don't come, I think that would be best.

I hope this is over in one day. We shall see!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Regrets.

"Regrets...I have a few..." -Frank Sinatra

Have you ever heard that song? Anyway.

The last two days have sucked.

I made the mistake of letting Lizzy's bio mom say hi to her on the phone which then caused her to be a crying mess for the whole rest of the day and totally not herself for the day after that.

They talked for like 20 seconds.

I didn't think it would do that. Lizzy has been very clingy for a while now. She doesn't like when my husband goes to work, she wants all of us to be together all the time. I hope this is actually a healthy thing or leading to a healthy attachment to us, but it doesn't come across as warm as fuzzy. It comes across as a tantrum-ing mess usually.

I think talking to her mom triggers her feelings of loss and, in a way, I think there might be some fear there of loosing us as well.

Regardless, I won't be making that mistake again.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Resolutions.

I am not a big "New Year's Resolution" fan...but I did make one.

I am going to TRY to get out to see Sabrina once a month. After seeing her crumble to the floor and teary eyed as she asked me "Will you come back and take me here again" after our last visit I think it finally hit me that she still needs us.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Behavior.

I ran across a journal that I kept of Lizzy's behavior last year. Even I was floored by what I wrote all that time ago. I had to share it with you.


Dec. 21, 2010

9:24 am

I told her to stop doing something and she started punching herself with her left hand in the left side of her head. I told her to stop and she screamed a blood curdling scream at me.
I put her in bed.


9:35 am

Lizzy stole a toy from one of our other foster children. I made her give it back. She stomped her feet and then grabbed a toy and whips it across the room and glares at me.
I sent her to her room. She does well and I let her come out as soon and she walked nicely into her room.


9:45 am

Lizzy was sitting with me and got up. Another child hopped into my lap. She squealed angrily and started kicking the wall.


9:50 am

Lizzy got made because I told her to share. She glared at me and then started throwing toys at the wall.


9:57 am

Lizzy stood and screamed at my son because he wouldn't give her the toys he was playing with.


11:04 am

A child took Lizzy's toy. I gave it back to her. She then took the toy and started hitting herself in the head with it. I took the toy from her. She started screaming and threw herself on the floor and started kicking and rolling across the floor while screaming.



Lizzy does not do any of this anymore. None of it.

To give you some history on her, on Dec. 21, 2010 she had turned turned 2 years old 4 days before AND we had just brought 2 new foster daughters home on her second birthday. As you can see she did not reach too well to them. For the record, she did not act like that AS MUCH when is was just her and Sabrina here or when it was just her BUT she did do some of these things. When I picked her up from the agency she was known for bashing her head on things and being quite wild.

When I read these words I didn't even recognize the child that I had written about. Lizzy actually listens decently now. If she takes a toy from someone and I tell her to give it back at least 90% of the time she does without an issue. She hasn't hit herself in the head (especially like described here) in quite a while and is doing so well with playing with toys and other. Her attention span has grown tremendously. She is a different kid.

That was a very rough patch that I am glad we made it through. It did go on for quite a while. One of the foster daughter we brought home certainly did not help. She was as crazy as Lizzy was acting at that time. It sure was a crazy 5 1/2 months!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Moving.

Things are moving in a very interesting way when it comes to the relationship Lizzy will have with her bio parents.

At the last hearing they stopped any visitation she was having with the parents. Her lawyer called me afterwards and said, "I know you are friends with mom, but you cannot let her see Lizzy at all. I got the visits stopped because I had the social worker testify in court that they were detrimental to Lizzy. If you need to blame it on me, but she cannot see them."

Now, technically this does not include her bio dad who was not having any visit in the first place. BUT, my husband and I assume/know that the social worker, agency, lawyers and court would probably not want us having visits with her bio dad without their permission. So, after I got the phone call from the lawyer, we had to call Lizzy bio mom and bio dad and tell them that we would NOT be letting them see Lizzy while we were told not to. Period.

Mom was shockingly ok with this. I am sure she is kinda used to it and when she told her family about it she blamed it on Lizzy's legal dad. She told them that she was getting punished for what he had done and the court stopped both their visitation because of him. That is not true, BUT in a way it was. Lizzy's bio mom's visitation was able to be canceled because of her own actions...but, I don't think it would have even been brought up had all of us not been so desperate to stop the legal dad's visitation. She did not do anything to be able to keep her visitation, she rarely showed up for it as it was, but as far as it being detrimental to Lizzy...I don't think it was.

The visits with the legal dad were obviously detrimental to her.

As far as Legal dad goes, we have NEVER had any contact with him outside of the agency so we did not need to contact him about anything. We would have never let her have any contact with him if it were up to us.

And then there is Bio dad. We (by "we" I mean my husband) called him and told him what went on in court and that we would not be bringing her to see him while this was going on. He got a little argumentative with my husband and my husband told him that no matter what would would not do anything that would risk Lizzy being moved from our house. It was very annoying to me that he wanted to argue with my husband about this. First of all, he should be very concerned about Lizzy's life not being ripped apart AGAIN...but, he isn't. Secondly, he has made no effort to come see her in months so what is there to fight about? He wants to be able to see her when he wants to and I guess he didn't like someone telling him that that is off the table for now...even though he hadn't seen her in months when this happened.

This has put a huge damper on my opinion of him. I have been very compassionate towards him during this whole situation. I even called around to see if there were any (free) lawyers that would take on a case like his months ago. I did not find any by the way.

I have made efforts to let him see her when I knew it wouldn't get me in trouble, but absolutely did not have to let him see her at all. I would let him talk to her on the phone and would send him pictures of her...I was very nice. Then, the one time we have to "disagree" and he starts acting like a creep to my husband? I don't like that. I don't like that he thinks it is more important for him to see her once every 6 months and risk the agency getting mad at me and moving her than just making sure SHE is safe.

Also, Lizzy's bio mom's family called bio dad and told him that they got some paper work in the mail that said if he could establish paternity the state would give her back to him. Well, obviously I am 99% sure that paper work does not exist, but he acted like he was going to look into it (which is fine), but he hasn't at all. If he wanted her back why wouldn't he call someone and ask if it was true? Why wouldn't he look into it at all? Why wouldn't he do anything? It is starting to become clear how committed he is to her. MONTHS ago he bailed. He knew he wouldn't be able to see Lizzy much if he broke up with her mom, but he still did. He just "couldn't take it anymore". Well, guess what? LIZZY STILL HAS TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS. Quite frankly, I still have to deal with all of this. He got to move on with his life and I still had to drag this child to visits with a man and I wouldn't let TOUCH my bio child...even a hand shake.

So, I am a little over it. He calls or texts me about once a week and asks how she is. I am nice and write back. I even video taped her opening some gifts he got her before all this happened and will send him a DVD of it. But, I don't plan on telling him anything about this case anymore and I do plan on keeping the communication to a minimum until I see if he "gives up" or not. If he decides to quit pursuing a relationship with I am going to let him.

I'm kinda over it.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Down.

The count down has begun.

Lizzy's termination trial is on January 12th. I am getting so excited/nervous. Her bio mom called me when she got served with papers to appear in court that day. I am pretty sure she isn't going to come. She had all sorts of excuses about how she can't get a ride and the court/agency won't provide her with one.

This makes me wonder...if she is not there to sign over her rights do they just take them away (if they decide to) or what happens?

I can't imagine that her legal dad will come...but, at the same time I will be shocked if he doesn't. He is very good at showing up at the last hour just to make things harder.

We shall see...

180 degrees

And then she decided to do a 180 on me and is doing really good on the potty. At least yesterday and the day before she did.

That's my crazy girl.