Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fun. pregnancy has some how taken the filter off my mouth. The more pregnant I get the more I say what I think needs to be said...rather than the version that goes through my every day filter.

Since being pregnant I have told Lizzy's bio mom that "You KNOW that if you sign over your rights to Lizzy no one is giving her back to you. Not me, not the state, not anyone right?!?!"

I also went off on her great aunt who kept talking about trying to get some family member out of state to adopt Lizzy. It went something like "You need to STOP trying to give this kid to strangers. She does not know them, she doesn't not remember them and she thinks that WE are her family. How is that fair to her?!?!"

And then there was the last time I talked to her bio dad "You can believe all these crazy people who DIDN'T EVER SHOW UP TO COURT TODAY TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED or you can listen to me who was the first one there and the last one to leave...." and it just went from there.

Yeah...I usually am not like that. Never ever ever said anything like that to Sabrina's family. Every one of the instances I mentioned above were while I was pregnant.

Anyway, so today I took Lizzy to a salvation army. We were walking down the glass aisle, they had a very long one, and every 30 seconds I would say "Don't touch anything" and pull her close to me. Literally just about every step I took I did this. Well, we got down right by one of the workers and Lizzy manages to touch a plastic globe that then falls to the hard floor and breaks clean in half so that the water and stuff falls out.

The older worker lady says to me "That's why she shouldn't be touching stuff" very snottily as she walks away to get a mop. Usually I would just ignore that. I said, no filter. I immediately said loudly to her as she walked away "That is why I HAVE BEEN telling her to not touch anything every 30 seconds."

Yeah, I know, I didn't have to say that, but you know what? This kid is a spaz and she is doing so much better than she used to. What she touch must have been very close to the edge because she just barely touched it in the first place and she obviously didn't mean to break it.

So, old crabby store lady, was your goal to make me feel like crap or the 3 year old who has been through hell and back in her 3 years here on earth?

You will be shocked to know that when the lady came back she was MUCH nicer. I did apologize like 3 times for her breaking it once crabby stopped being a jerk.

I'm sorry, but I am truly doing my best. Lizzy still humiliates me at least once while we are out almost EVERY time we go out. She will get crying about something and is very loud and hard to stop. It has been very hard for me all this time to deal with it because I feel like it reflects so badly on me. If only everyone could see the progress she has made...not just what she STILL does.


Kylee said...

I'm not pregnant, I don't have a 3-year-old, and even I am finding myself a little bit more feisty these days. I am just so tired of tolerating ignorant comments that come out of people's mouths regarding foster care/adoption. Like, do you not THINK before you talk?!

Keep on doing what you're doing!! Lizzy is growing and thriving with YOU as her mama. You are her best advocate and her best protection!!

Katy said...

Any 3 year old will touch the very last glass thing in the row. Crabby lady obviously doesn't have kids.

I think most pregnant women get rid of the filter. I got so many comments from strangers about what I should and shouldn't do as a pregnant woman that I started finally telling them what I thought too. It's one of those protective mommy things. Also fun: bumping rude people out of the way with your belly.

Debbie said...

It is amazing to see the changes in our kids who had a tougher start than others. You're doing a great job. Just keep praising her for what she's doing right and ignore crabby people.

Mandy said...

You are doing so well and Lizzy is doing so well. My bio daughter is 5 and my son is 7. They are very tactile and they want to touch everything STILL! I hate going into any store with crowded aisles because they can reach things. There are people that like kids and get kids and there are people that don't. Crabby doesn't like kids. I saw a quote once, "The people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter." I love that quote :)

Endless Love ~ Amazing Grace said...

And sometimes our love for a child who has gone through so much can take the filter off our mouth too:)

Kelli said...

apparently my kids and friends kids were called "the rif-raf" at dairy queen by another lady yesterday. don't like it.....go somewhere else lady. they have been on indoor recess for almost 2 weeks because of the cold, gesh!!

Leah W said...


lol....pastor's kids...

k said...

Do you live in the South? I only ask because you're so apologetic about being direct - I am NOT pregnant and I talk that way every single day ;)

Anonymous said...

lol, nope, i live in the north :)

-mama foster