Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Thief.

I ran to the grocery store today and I had Lizzy in one of those carts that has a car attached to them for little kids to sit in. I wasn't paying attention while we were checking out and once I was in the parking lot I saw Lizzy had a Mounds in her hand that I hadn't paid for.

I turned the cart around and as I was walking back into the store I almost bumped into one of the social workers from our agency. I haven't worked with this worker so I didn't say anything to her.

I had to laugh that of course a worker would be there as I catch Lizzy stealing for the first time.
(at least from the store, all my kids have had sticky fingers when we go to other people's houses...anyone who hasn't had a foster child yet might want to watch out for that)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Doctors.


I don't know if every state is doing this, but the state I am in has taken the state insurance that every foster child has and put it in a blender and turned it on. When the blender is finished, you are randomly assigned some doctor that you have never heard of that might be 45 minutes from your house and that is who you take the kids to until you bug their DHS worker enough to get them switched back to their original doctor.

It has been tons of fun.

When the child first comes into care they have the normal "state" insurance, then depending on how fast the workers are, they are switched to a different insurance that is more of a private insurance. It still covers everything, but has a new name.

Back when Lizzy first moved in her worker messed everything up and basically she had insurance under her aunt's name through the state for a while. When the worker went back to fix it all he couldn't get it to go far enough back to cover her initial physical every child has to have when they first are put in foster care.

I HAVE HAD THIS BILL OPEN FOR OVER A YEAR. I called Lizzy's worker I loved so much and in her defense at one of the court hearings I did see her give a copy of the bill to the male DHS worker. He did nothing with it.

Months went by and I started harping on my agency to get it taken care of. They printed out some piece of paper that said that the insurance was retro active back to the date of the physical. My Dr. office tried billing them again and it was rejected.

My agency has been very unhelpful in getting this resolved. The original bill was for $150. So, after a year of these people not doing their job I took Lizzy back to the Dr. for her yearly physical today. I still owed the $150-or should I say the state still owed the $150.

At one point I had called the billing office and they said if I would pay it they would cut it in half. Today I took them up on it because I am sick of dealing with it. The best part is my agency told me that if I pay it DHS will not reimburse me. Isn't that nice. I was just sick of getting the bill and worrying about them throwing it on my credit so I paid it. I LOVE this Dr. and I am not going to ruin my relationship with him because I want my son to be able to go there IN GOOD STANDING.

In this post I haven't even told you about half the things I did to try to get these people to pay this bill. It really is ridiculous.

Have any of you had issues where the kids insurance wasn't working the way it was supposed to and caused you a head ache?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Early.

How nice of my agency to give me an early morning phone call to let me know that Lizzy's visit with legal dad that was scheduled for today at 11:30 am THAT NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT was cancelled.

I, in turn, reminded them that he hasn't shown up for a visit in 4 months and I don't plan to come to any visits that are scheduled for him unless I actually get a call stating he is in the building.

I'm not wasting my time.

This is one of the MANY reasons I am very ready for this case to be over.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Here.

Today during church Lizzy walked past the main auditorium with her teacher. The door was open and she saw me and ran over to the door way and yelled "Hi! Hi!"

It cracked me up. I was ready for her to go...but I'm glad she got to stay.

(at least mostly glad ;) )

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Crazies.

Seriously, how can you walk into someone's house, tell them they are getting their CHILD back within 30 days...and then not even bring it up in court?

I just don't understand that at all.


My agency & the lawyer have both called the new DHS worker "Young", "Immature", "New"... I actually tend to like new workers because they are still excited about their job and still think some of what normal people think are "big" thing are "big" things.

BUT when this lady road in here on her white horse and started making huge decisions on a case she knew nothing about she totally over stepped her bounds. She obviously thought she could do whatever she wanted without consulting anyone else. She had the lawyer so mad and apparently he won this round.

I have to be honest, I was ready to be done for a while. The idea of a "care free" summer was looking SO good. I am so happy that she did not get shipped to a different foster home for her own sake...but at the same time, well, if you have been around here long you know how stressful Lizzy is, how stressful her case is, how stressful her mom is...

I am glad I did the right thing. I am. I'm just ready for a change too. :)

Friday, June 24, 2011

Not.

Ok...um...court happened.

No one, not ANYONE talked about Lizzy going home to mom. NO ONE.

She is staying here, with us, until the next court hearing (scheduled for 3 months from now). In between mom has to do more drug testing, and 30 days from now they may let them do over night visits.

Holy crap.

How do you go from "going home" to a whole bunch of....nothing. No change.

I can't believe they put all of us through this all week.

Bio dad is devastated.

Ugggghhhh. What a bunch of DRAMA for nothing.

Reality.

Over at http://tamlynn75random.blogspot.com/ Tammy asked her panel of foster moms (which I am on) "What do you wish you would have known about foster care".

Honestly, I wish I would have known that you could wake up one day and have no idea that by the end of the day a child you have cared for for MONTHS could be living some where else.

I wish I would have known that if you could get the DHS worker and the GAL mad enough at the agency that has the child's case they would opt to send the child home instead of deal with the agency anymore.

I wish I would have known that my agency is not a very good one.

Regardless, Lizzy mom has a court date this morning at 11 am. I am honestly hoping they decide to let her return to mom today after court. I would prefer to just get this over with. I'll let you know what happens.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Socialworker.

So, the only thing that was told to my agency and the supervisor at my agency of this case is that Lizzy is not being moved.

That's it.

They didn't say anything about her going home to mom, nothing. Just that she isn't getting moved. After the hearing on Friday we will see what the official plan is.

I am so happy for Lizzy.

Home.

You all may think I am crazy for being excited about this, but Lizzy will be going home to her parents - not moving to a new foster home!!!

I am not sure when, but in the next few days.

Details later.



*just heard from the DHS worker that "she is not moving to a new foster home, the lawyer wants her moved home so we are going to get services in place in order to do that." I asked about a time frame and she said she didn't know yet.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Back.

The lawyer called me and said that he told the social worker NOT to move her before they can discuss it in court on Friday. He said he WILL talk to her before the meeting tomorrow morning (and if he can't get ahold of her he will be talking to her supervisor) and will be making it very clear that he is totally against this.

He is open to discussing this in court where all the cards can be laid on the table for this "very young" and "new" social worker so she can see the whole picture. He is pretty fired up.

He and I decided that I am "not going to be able to make it" to the PPC meeting tomorrow, but will offer to participate by phone and if they still decide to move her against his wishes tomorrow then I will plan a time for them to come get her tomorrow after the meeting. I plan on telling them that I will not be available until after 2 pm.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Comfirming.

I got a call from the worker who decided to move Lizzy. She was confirming that the PCC meeting was on for Thursday at 11 am and wanted to tell me she wants to move her after that.

I asked her if she had talked to the GAL or listened to his voice mail. She said no. I told her that he doesn't want her moved. She took down his phone number and said she would call me back.

It is after 5 pm so I don't think I will hear from anyone tonight...probably just tomorrow morning or at the meeting I guess. If I go to the meeting (yes, that's right, I might just not because this is crap to begin with) I will be taking Lizzy with me with all her stuff so that they can just move her then.

I am hoping to hear from the lawyer before the meeting though.

Asked.


I just got a call for 5 year old twin boys. Apparently they need to look at the license that says "3 and under"...and for all you laughing and thinking I probably said yes anyway...I SAID NO!!!

Matters.

Lizzy lawyer is furious. He called and I told him everything (along with outing mom for checking herself in and out of a mental health clinic without telling anyone) and he immediately called the higher up social worker that made the decision to move her and told her that he is NOT approving this move.

Lizzy has a court date set for this Friday. The lawyer wants her to stay with us and is now concerned about mom's mental stability. He does not get the final say and to be honest I have a feeling our time with Lizzy is up but it will be interesting to see how it all plays out. The meeting tomorrow at 11 am is still on as far as I know at which time I am supposed to tell the new foster mom all about Lizzy. The social worker said she wanted to move Lizzy either Thursday or Friday afternoon. We'll see what happens.


''Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.''

-Joshua 1:9


PS I saw one of the placement workers today while I waited for Lizzy to be done with her visit with mom. I couldn't help my self. I "reminded" him that we had just had two go home in a "when are you gonna call me with my newest baby" kinda way. He smiled and said it has been a slow couple weeks. Before I left the building he came back out and made sure he had my correct phone number. I was the one looking forward to a break right? Ugghhh I need help ;)
(Now that I think about it I saw two of the placement workers, but only bugged one of them, see I have some self control)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tried.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

I got a call today about Lizzy. The county that she is from is furious with my agency and their lack of handling this case appropriately so they are moving her out of my home into a foster home (an hour away) in the county her parents live in.

We are having a PPC meeting Thursday morning and will either move her after that or will move her Friday morning. This is the first I have heard of this, they had a new foster home lined up before they even called me.

I agree with them that our agency has not done well in this case. You know the social worker I love so much? I guess she got fired today.

I feel bad for Lizzy, but in a horrible way I feel a little relieved. I am relieved for myself that I will be done with this situation, I feel bad for Lizzy that her world is about to get rocked. :(

Monday, June 20, 2011

Talking.

So, we all hopped in the car and were on our way to McDonalds. I didn't know how to get there from their house so she had to tell me how to get there so that filled a lot of the talking time. We also talked about what there was to do in the area and things she wanted to take Sabrina to go do.

We got there and Sabrina was SO excited. I think she was just so darn excited to have kids to play with and to get out of the house (her mom doesn't have a driver's license or a car). We ordered food for everyone and the kids had already ran off to go play in the play place. Mom and I went and got a table and had the kids come eat. Once we got settled at the table Mom spent quite a bit of time texting a guy that she had met thru eharmony. Apparently that is where she is meeting guys now. She was happy to chat about guys and what she wants in a man. We also talked about Sabrina's dad who hasn't seen her since she was between 3 and 6 mo. old but is now paying child support. Mom isn't working, she calls getting her child support "getting paid" so that is her current source of income. She has been going to school to get her high school diploma (she is 24 years old) and is hoping to finish that this year. We talked about all these things and all the while Sabrina and my kids played in the play place. Every few minutes Sabrina would crawl over to this area that was right above where I was sitting. She would then stare at me until I looked at her and smiled at her, she would light up with a big smile and go crawl off to play again. She did this A LOT. It was like she was seeing a ghost, she kept checking to see if I was really there.

The kids played for a couple hours and Mom and I made conversation here and there. She told me that Sabrina looks at the 3 photo albums I made her all the time. She loves to look at all the pictures of all of us. I was just thrilled to hear that she let her have them and didn't throw them away. When I made them I only put 1 or 2 pictures in it of my husband and I and just filled them with pictures of Sabrina with my son, our other foster kids and all the kids and different people in our family along with pictures that I had of Sabrina and her mom as well in hope she wouldn't throw the books away. I am so glad I made those books.

To be continued.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Finally.

Eight Months.


Eight Months is a long time to go without seeing someone that you used to spend every single day with.

The day before you should have seen what a nervous wreck I was. I never know what I am going to be walking into when it comes to her mom and grandma. At 11 pm the night before I visited http://fosterhood.tumblr.com/ trying to find this post about topics to talk to bio parents about...because Sabrina's mom is not a very good conversationalist and I wanted something to talk about that would be neutral. For the record, that post didn't help me much because I have tried all of those things before, but it put them back in my head to try again anyway. For future reference though, the topics that worked for us the day of were:

-mom's dating life
-movies that are currently in the movie theater
-things Sabrina currently likes
-food
-places she is interested in talking Sabrina

I thought I would throw that in there in case any of you ever need ideas.

We had decided to take the kids to McDonalds because the weather wasn't looking good. That morning was rainy so it worked out perfectly.

I pulled up at 10:30 am. I knocked on the door and mom answered. She had just rolled out of bed as had Sabrina. (she later told me Sabrina had woken up at 5 am ready and excited for us to come, they then laid back down and slept until we got there). Sabrina was on the couch, wiggling around stretching and yawning. She was wearing clothes that I sent home with her...that used to fit her back when she first came to my house at 2 years old. Her pants hem was 3-4 inches off the floor. While mom ran around getting clothes for her and Sabrina, Sabrina wandered over to me and started talking about her cat and wanted to drag me around the house and show me everything. I told her to ask her mom if she could show me her room, I was trying to not over step. Mom said yes and Sabrina led me into her room, which I had seem before. This time it had a bit more stuff, but wasn't much different.

There was a pink, stained fitted sheet covering both of her windows.

There was the same white dresser that was missing a drawer.

There was a new to her gold/metal framed twin bed with an old comforter on it and 2 couch cushions she was using for pillows. In her Sabrina-ish way she rearranged her couch cushions to the way she wanted them.

There was an old toddler banana seat bike in her room with 2 flat tires.

There was the adorable baby picture of her that I love.

There was a new princess tent that was already broken.

There were her other random toys as well.

After a minute mom was dressed and she called for Sabrina so she could change her clothes. She put an outfit on her that I recognized from a picture a friend had texted to me of Sabrina. It was an outfit that mom's friend bought from Walmart for $1 on clearance for Sabrina.

She then had Sabrina put on her flip flip that I brought her last summer. They are way too small now, but it is obvious that she wears that all the time. They are one very worn out pair of shoes. I still remember buying them.

So, it was time to go. Sabrina happily hopped in the car and Kobe and her gave each other huge hugs and she made her way to her car seat. Mom hopped in the front with me and off we went.

To be continued.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Pictures.


I'm still processing the whole day...but here are some pictures :)


Lizzy on the swings





Sabrina's smile








My son and Sabrina









Sabrina and her mom







Thursday, June 16, 2011

Possible.

Today went wonderfully. It could not have gone any better. I am sure at some point I will tell you every detail.

"But Jesus...said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God ALL things are possible." -Matthew 19:26

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Confirmed.

Against every voice even in my own head, I texted her to confirm...

...and she confirmed.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Nervous.

Seriously, what would you do?

Sabrina's mom has not canceled on me so far. I have not talked to her since the texts we sent back and forth that you can read below.

She sent me the correct address when I asked for it...I am such a "double checker" that it is KILLING me not to text her and confirm that we are on for tomorrow BUT I don't want to give her an extra chance to cancel so I am planning on just going to her house tomorrow.

What would you do? Confirm or not confirm?

That is the question.

Less.

Going from 3 toddlers to 1 toddlers has been very...peaceful.

Last night when we were out to dinner at a normal restaurant I looked at my husband with a smile and said, "Would you have ever guessed we would think she is easy?" - as Lizzy squirmed around in her seat and grabbed at everything on the table.

We both just shook our heads and smiled.

Doing everything times 3 was hard, tedious, and not always enjoyable. It was a huge lesson in seeing the good in every situation, being patient and not giving up. We love our kids enough to take care of them, make huge efforts to have for with them and basically hand 6 months of our lives over to them (or 12 months...or 16 months).

That is how it feels because the situations suck you in. After everything is said and done and they leave you feel like that 6 months of your life just got in a car and drove away.

I am glad we do what we do, but it is also the weirdest most intense thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Out.

Lizzy's mom called me tonight. She is out of the mental health facility and on 3 NEW medications...she was very excited about this. So excited that she was talking a mile a minute and acting like the new meds have her feeling VERY good...a little high on life right now if you know what I mean.

She is back to the "I'll do whatever I need to do for my baby" speech right now. She thinks that she may have to go to jail for a while for one of her warrants "but she doesn't care, she will do it for her baby".

At least while she was having her mental health weekend Lizzy got a day at the beach too.

This weekend is a GREAT example of why kids need long term foster care, while mom lost it (after a year of not parenting her child) Lizzy was none the wiser. She didn't have to be exposed to any of it and her life stayed normal and very two year old appropriate. It is a shame that the courts don't look at this and say there is enough history here to make a decision based on what most likely WILL happen AGAIN if the child is returned.

Today I read a horrible story that is the most extreme example of what happens because the courts refuse to do this.

You can read about it here.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Text.

It all started with her texting me this picture with the caption "me and sabrina":

Then I texted her back...and it goes from there:

Gosh has she grown. U guys look like ur enjoying the weather. Thanks for the pic. Love seeing u guys so happy together.


Thanks... How have u guys been??



We are good. Just driving home from up north. Super busy as always. U guys enjoying the summer so far?


Yea...Its about time i didn't think we would ever get the warm weather...hows *insert my son's name here* doing??


He is good...hes getting really tall. He turned 9 on May 30th. How was Sabrina's birthday?


It was awesome alot of people came she had a blast. she got alot of gifts and a new bike...it was really nice.


Good. I bet she loved it.


She did...she keeps asking about u every now and then.


(you will have to insert a huge lump in my throat here and then picture me mustering up the courage to type the next text and hit send)


I think about you guys too. if u ever want to get the kids together i would be happy to make a date with u. I think it would be fun to get them together.


yea it would be fun...and i know sabrina would love it.


Wanna do something this week? I could pick u guys up and we could do something out by u


Uh what day do you have in mind?


Any day but Monday. do u have thursday open?


Yea as far as i know i do unless some thing comes up


Is there a park or beach by u we could take the kids to play at that day?


Yea i got a park right next door and a beach isn't too far from me....


What time is usually good for u on thursdays?


Any thing after 10 am


Wanna plan on me picking u guys up thursday at 10:30 am if the weather is ok and we'll take the kids where ever u want and we'll hang out & have lunch & then ill take u guys back home?


yea sounds good...i should be paid by thursday if not it will be friday...but im pretty sure thursday


ok, but lunch is on me lol text me if something comes up and thursday wont work. and text me ur address again...i have it somewhere but i would have to dig for it


ok lol sounds good *insert their address here*


ok. hopefully thursday works out and ill see you then.


ok.


(after this you will have to imagine the 5 million thoughts I had running through my head as I try to pretend like I believe this is even going to happen BUT I think God is totally capable of changing Sabrina's mom's heart and to some how build something good from the ashes of this situation. He knows what He is doing and I am going to just trust HIM either way.)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Texting.

Sabrina's mom just texted me...out of no where. Probably 3 months since the last time she texted me.

We texted back and forth for half an hour.

I tell you the details Monday.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Torn.

Half of me is hoping that we don't get any calls for quite a while. I am enjoying the quiet, easy life of being a mommy to two.

The other half is very very annoyed I haven't gotten any calls yet and is ready to cuddle a new little love.

So is the life of a foster mom....

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Late.

I may have miss spoke at some point, but Lizzy had court today. Well, court was scheduled for today at 1:30 p.m. BUT the social work, who I love so much, showed up a half hour late so the judge postponed it for two weeks.

I hate that.

Please, just get these court dates over with! It is so annoying to have the social worker be the reason it gets put off.

In other crazy news...Lizzy mom also decided today to admit herself to a mental health hospital and refused to let the social worker come out to her house to "make sure she still lives there".

Did I mention she also has 3 warrants out for her arrest? I am wondering if she is trying to avoid them by checking herself into the hospital?

So, while mom does whatever she wants, Lizzy hangs out in foster care.

Girls.

Dear Tina and Baby,

Girls, I miss you. You left as suddenly as you came and it even ended up feeling like a fitting ending to your stay with us.

Baby, I miss hearing you demandingly yell "ma-ma!" every morning as soon as you opened your eyes. I miss seeing you happily stomp your feet and giggle as soon as I came to get you in the morning. I miss kissing your baby face and admiring all your new baby teeth. I am pretty sure you are one of the cutest little people ever made. You have the sweetest little personality that was paired with a fiery independence that didn't stand for anyone trying to take your toys! :)

You seemed to forget everything before me and were so happy to have a mommy who paid attention. I hope that the voice you gained here helps you to let your mama know what you need. I think that will help both of you.

Tina, my wild wild girl, I miss your big smile and your craziness. You were very sweet to everyone and they all loved you. My house is much cleaner since you left...but you know I would trade that to have you back. I am so happy you are with your brothers and I hope you are equally excited to be with all of them.

You changed me, and I think I changed you. I will be praying for you, my pretty little girls.

-Mommy (foster)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Prayer.

Being a citizen of this little hidden world of foster care is hard. It is hard for us, and even harder for our kids.

Lizzy's case has the potential to fall apart. Bio dad is over it, mom just found out she has 3 warrants...and as I stated before, they are leaning towards signing mom's rights over to me. I am not sure that I would let them do that, but I am not as sure I wouldn't as I thought I was.

Our kids need so much help, help that the legal system can not provide. Help that they won't allow us to give them. They need a savior to step in and save them.

I don't know anyone that can be that for them, but I do know how much God loves these kids. I think that our general lack of concern for these kids as a whole (the population in general) is a huge hinderance to what God wants to happen with our kids. I don't think God wants people to loose their kids all the time, I think HE wants to heal family AND build families who wouldn't have children of their own. I think He uses foster care to save children AND to restore hope to families when they can be returned.

I think our kids and their families need people who are willing to plead on their behalf, and that is what I want to do today. If you have a foster child, or a foster child that went home to their bio family, and you would like all of us to pray for them, their case, their family, for decisions being made, for the judge in the case, or anything please leave a comment in the comments and lets all pray for these kids together.

We need to see God move so desperately.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Remember.


So many times we foster moms wonder if after the kids leave they remember us or any of the good that we tried to do in their lives.

The day after Tina & the baby left my sister posted this video on my facebook page.

"Background: The 2 guys raised him for a year when he was a cub. they, with the help of George (shirtless man) were able to release him back into the wild. This is a year after he was released and the 2 guys went to kenya to visit him. George kept tabs on where he and his pride were."

I think if a lion can remember some part of our kids can too.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dads.

Lizzy's "legal" dad had agreed to a visit (I know...very big of him) that was supposed to happen on Monday.

I decided to call her lawyer and tell him about this because he is pretty mad in general about him not coming to ANY visits in the past 3 months considering all the torture he initially put Lizzy through. He said to let him know what happened Monday and if he didn't show he was going to petition to have his visitation suspended (funny how that could be the "consequence" for not coming to your visit...suspended visitation).

So, before it was time for the visit (about 3 hours before) I called my beloved social worker. She of course did not answer. I then called her supervisor, who did not answer. She, the supervisor, did call me back to let me know he canceled.

First of all, good, I'm glad he did, but this whole situation with him is crap anyway. And second of all, beloved social worker, you are a jerk. If they cancel you need to not be dumb and call me. Seriously.

Lizzy has court this Friday. That should be interesting. Or annoyingly boring. Either one.

Waiting.

The last time I had a foster child that returned to their biological parent's home I did not receive any placement calls for 2 months.


I am very curious to see when they call next...what age the child will be...because unlike all my other kids, I have no inclination who is coming. I usually have a certain "type" of child that God puts on my mind and then when I get the call I always laugh because it is a call for the "type" of child I had been thinking about for weeks and weeks and weeks. (by "type" I mean, age, sex and race)

I guess there is part of me that thinks it could be a while because I haven't got that feeling yet.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Sad.

It's always sad when they leave.

Everything is so oddly easy right now.

I equally love it and hate it.

I miss them.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Both.

Oddly, there has been a lot of good for me to focus on in the return of my girls to their bio mom.

The good:

God ordered every step I took in the days before they left.

-I had been doing laundry for days so it was all done

-We had my son's big birthday party on Memorial Day, 2 days before they were returned, and everyone got to see then that I would have wanted to see them before they left

-The day before they left we had our normal play date with my sister's sons

-We all went to church (and they were all dressed up as usual!) for their last Sunday with us

-If this had happened on Tuesday my husband would not have been able to leave work to say good bye, but on Wednesday it was no problem for him to leave

-I had had a normal morning with the girls and timing wise it worked out well that I got the call when I did

-The other foster mom was called first and she had told them that she could NOT have the brother's up there before 2:30 pm (I guess at first they had wanted the kids at the agency at 11 am! half an hour after they called me!)

-We got to go pick up my son from school so he could spend the rest of the day with them

-Our last day with them ended up perfect


The bad:

-Our agency knew on the Thursday before that a hearing had been scheduled for Wednesday...and NEVER called us to let us know. (Even though I think this is AWEFUL, I am so glad that I didn't know over Memorial Day weekend because it would have put a damper on things, we really had a wonderful weekend with the kids and I wouldn't trade that for anything)

-The girls were returned to mom who had only seen them once in the past 6 months based on the fact that the two states could not come to an agreement. It was NOT based on what was best for the kids

-It is a long story, but regardless, the other foster mom and I packed up TONS of stuff for the kids. The vehicle that mom brought to pick up the kids barely would fit all the passengers let alone a TON of luggage...mom only took one regular sized duffle bag that I packed (it only had Tina's clothes in it) and the diaper that I packed. She didn't take any of the baby's clothes, no toys, nothing. When the social worker asked her if she wanted their belongings she said , "They have clothes at home, just donate everything else."

I know that she probably feels like everyone was in the wrong who took her kids from her, but seriously...your kids have grown. Nothing fits them that they had before I got them and the state had given me well over $600 for clothes for the girls, which I spent on clothes - really cute clothes! - and she didn't take them. I know she wasn't thinking about it, but what if the kids wanted their toys...ugghhh it just makes me ill thinking about them not having their belongings. Thank goodness I put their favorite shoes on them...

So, that is the good and the bad.


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Abrupt.

Well, that was crazy.

Obviously we have known for months that it looked like the girls would leave at some point. I didn't expect to only have 4 hours notice, that is for sure.

So, how do you love on two little girls enough in 4 hours to last them the rest of their life?

I don't know the answer to that, but I called my hubby as soon as I got the call and he came home and we also went and picked up my son from school and we went to McDonalds and the park to spend our last few hours with our girls.

We ran around the play ground, pushed them on swings, took pictures, swung with them on the swings, cuddled them and then took them to the agency.

It took everyone about a hour at the agency to get things together so we hung out while they did all that. Then we put them in the car and kissed them goodbye.

I'll go into other details later.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Notice.

Today I was given 4 hours to pack up my two little girls things because the judge dismissed their case and they are being picked up by their mom today.

They drove away in the social worker's car about half an hour ago.

I didn't expect that when I got up this morning.

bleeding.

I love listening to all these babies cry. over nothing. often.

I keep expecting my ears to start bleeding.

Two 2 yr olds just does. not. work.