Friday, June 3, 2011

Both.

Oddly, there has been a lot of good for me to focus on in the return of my girls to their bio mom.

The good:

God ordered every step I took in the days before they left.

-I had been doing laundry for days so it was all done

-We had my son's big birthday party on Memorial Day, 2 days before they were returned, and everyone got to see then that I would have wanted to see them before they left

-The day before they left we had our normal play date with my sister's sons

-We all went to church (and they were all dressed up as usual!) for their last Sunday with us

-If this had happened on Tuesday my husband would not have been able to leave work to say good bye, but on Wednesday it was no problem for him to leave

-I had had a normal morning with the girls and timing wise it worked out well that I got the call when I did

-The other foster mom was called first and she had told them that she could NOT have the brother's up there before 2:30 pm (I guess at first they had wanted the kids at the agency at 11 am! half an hour after they called me!)

-We got to go pick up my son from school so he could spend the rest of the day with them

-Our last day with them ended up perfect


The bad:

-Our agency knew on the Thursday before that a hearing had been scheduled for Wednesday...and NEVER called us to let us know. (Even though I think this is AWEFUL, I am so glad that I didn't know over Memorial Day weekend because it would have put a damper on things, we really had a wonderful weekend with the kids and I wouldn't trade that for anything)

-The girls were returned to mom who had only seen them once in the past 6 months based on the fact that the two states could not come to an agreement. It was NOT based on what was best for the kids

-It is a long story, but regardless, the other foster mom and I packed up TONS of stuff for the kids. The vehicle that mom brought to pick up the kids barely would fit all the passengers let alone a TON of luggage...mom only took one regular sized duffle bag that I packed (it only had Tina's clothes in it) and the diaper that I packed. She didn't take any of the baby's clothes, no toys, nothing. When the social worker asked her if she wanted their belongings she said , "They have clothes at home, just donate everything else."

I know that she probably feels like everyone was in the wrong who took her kids from her, but seriously...your kids have grown. Nothing fits them that they had before I got them and the state had given me well over $600 for clothes for the girls, which I spent on clothes - really cute clothes! - and she didn't take them. I know she wasn't thinking about it, but what if the kids wanted their toys...ugghhh it just makes me ill thinking about them not having their belongings. Thank goodness I put their favorite shoes on them...

So, that is the good and the bad.


4 comments:

CherubMamma said...

I'm glad you can see the good in it. 'Cause me, on the outside looking in, finds the "bad" to be perfectly awful! I cannot believe the mom didn't even take the clothes. How sad.

Beck G. said...

Sadly, this brings back all too familiar feelings and memories. Very very similar to our situation, besides the fact we were told we were going to be keeping the little guy long term.

Heartbreaking, for both sides. Not fair to 2 sweet girls who were doing so well with you. Not fair to you guys either.

I am glad you are finding the good in it though, and that you got to love them as much as you could for as long as you did :)

spng7 said...

This post is heart-breaking. Two little girls (and their brothers) who did nothing to deserve this disruption in their lives. I hope things are better for them than it had been up until the time they came to you. My prayers sure will follow them.

Kelli said...

Sad that they got returned to the same situation....mom had to do NOTHING to get them back, other then have 2 states not agree on something. praying for them, and knowing you made a huge difference in their lives!