Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Have you ever used www.shutterfly.com If you are related to me you have probably received some type of gift from www.shutterfly.com from me :)

I am heavily obsessed with there 8x8 photo books that, in my opinion, make the perfect gift.  I love them and plan on turning my WHOLE old blog (you know, the one where I used to post pictures) into several of these gorgeous books.  I am totally one of those people that believes that  anything is better if my child's face is on it.

I also made 3 of these books for Sabrina when she left.  I made them about a month before she left.  They were filled with pictures spanning our 16 months together - and, to be honest, making them was one of the hardest things I had done and was a HUGE part of my grieving process.  But, I was SO glad that I did it when I was packing all of her stuff and I tucked those books in with it all I felt like I had sent as much of us with her as I possibly could have.  

Now it is time to start working on my CHRISTmas cards and I keep picturing our card from last year and thinking about those two little faces that won't be on it this year and the one (hopefully two!) that will be on it this year.  

 www.shutterfly.com also has a special promotion going on for bloggers.  They are offering 50 FREE CHRISTmas cards to bloggers who blog about this give-a-way!  You can find out more about it at http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/

As I was looking through their CHRISTmas card collection I saw this one and fell in love:

You can check out their design selection yourself at 

While I am hunting around their site I may also have to take a look at their Birthday Invites that you can see at http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/party-cards-stationery.  I have a little one who is turning 2 in 17 days and another little one I am waiting to call MINE is turning 2 years old tomorrow.  Happy Birthday sweet Joseph, we are working hard to get you home!

Also, if anyone count tell me how to get my kids to pose this nicely in a photo with me and my hubby while using a self timer it would be greatly appreciate it :)


Monday, November 29, 2010


I find it unfair interesting that God has taken us down SEVERAL paths that are very similar to what the biological parents go through when their children are taken away.

First, unfortunately, I know what it is to have a state worker come to my house and take a child that I have cared for for 16 months of their life and not know when or if I will see them again.

I know what it is to have a child crying for ME and having to hand them over to someone they don't want to go to.

I know what it is to have the state in my business when it isn't their place.

I know what it is like to have a child look at me and want to come home but they can't.

I know what it is like to love a child so much it hurts and not be able to do anything about the situation except wait on the court to make a decision.

I have experience the loss.

I have experienced the hurt.

Thankfully I have not been on their side of it legally - but I have been on their side of it emotionally.  At least the ones who I am giving the benefit of the doubt that they love their children they way I love their children.

I often see this in my life and think about it.  I know that God allowed it so that I would have compassion for these people.  I know HE allowed it because HE knew it would change me.  

And it has changed me.

No, it's not fair-it isn't about fairness at all.  No, this journey is about trust, faith and grace.  For me, for them, for everyone.  None of us deserve it, but yet it is offered to us at every turn in our lives.  I am so glad for this grace because while I am hurting I am learning compassion, while I am crying I am cling to my faith and when I fail at all of these things I am covered in God's grace.

So, while I am dragged I walk this path I get to see all of this and turn into someone who is a lot different that the woman who started this.  I have a feeling I am going to like the woman I am at the end of this better.

Sunday, November 28, 2010


Over the weekend I all the sudden realized that Lizzy's social worker lied under oath.

I stated to the judge that I had a few times been in the parenting time with both parents and explain what I saw between Lizzy and her legal dad.  I did not say anything about whether the social worker was in there during those times or not. 

The TRUTH of the matter is that on occasion, at least 3 times,  when I would come to drop Lizzy off for her visit her social worker would ask if I was busy and then asked if I could watch the visit for her because she was in the middle of something.  Sometimes I would be in there alone with Lizzy and which ever parent for maybe 5 minutes and up to I would say 20 or so minutes.  Notice that I said ALONE.

Well, after I said that I had been in parenting time, BUT never said anything about the social worker, when it was her time to talk again about a totally separate subject she made it a point to say "I have always been in parenting time for the whole entire time."  No one asked her this or even questioned why I was allowed in parenting time at all.  She just brought it up and purposefully lied because, I assume, she didn't want to get in trouble for not being in there.

So, my question is this.

What would YOU do with this information???

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I have a lot to be thankful for.

Many things have happened this year that I did not like, that I did not like walking through and that I didn't feel very thankful for.

But, I am learning and growing and working on contentment.

And I am thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  I am blessed to know you all.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Sunday we went to see Joseph.  When we came in I think he recognized us in a "are these people here to take me away from you, mom?" kinda way.  He was a little whiny at his foster mom and cried when I walked him out to the car from her house.  I strapped him in the car and gave him his sippy cup and from there everything went WONDERFULLY!

He didn't cry one bit and had a great time!  We had such a great time too.  We took him to a mall that was about 25 min from where he lives and he was so good in the car.  We got to the mall and went right to the children's play place and we let the kids play.

This is where we got to see the difference between his capabilities and Lizzy's.  Lizzy is 16 days younger than Joseph but Joseph was born 3 months early and only weighed 1 lb 13 oz when he was born.  He also is living with a foster mom who told me she doesn't really leave the house except to take the kids to appts and I think then she has a baby sitter for him.  At our last visit we took him to a Library that was literally across the street from his current home and I found out he had never been there before.  So, all these thing factored in I think he is doing pretty good.  

Lizzy is very jump-y and climb-y and Joseph is not.  When we first got to the play place he just stood around and watched.  Then Ben and I started playing for him and with him and he lighted up and would run for his next turn to go down the slide - all while still hanging on tight to his sippy cup!  We were glad to see how fast he warmed up and smiled and laughed.  At lunch he fed himself better than Lizzy does (when you live with typically 3 other little ones I think you have to learn to feed yourself!) and then we took them to a Chuck-E-Cheese that was in the mall and we saw that he could really throw well and mimicked Lizzy when he saw her doing something fun.  I would say the only REAL difference is that she is just way more steady on her feet than he is.  I have a sneaking suspicion that he was held A LOT and probably still is.

We had such a blast watching him get to know us and have fun.  He would go from my hubby to me and back with no problem and on the way home we got to hear him say "no" and other baby babble that was so sweet.  He has a very cute voice when he isn't whining at his current foster mom :)

I just want to add that I still very much LOVE his foster mom.  She is pushing hard to get him to us asap and she has done so much good for him.  She was the one who cared for him while he did a lot of growing and healing and I am indebted to her for that.  Even if she has spoiled him rotten ;)  I am even thankful for that!

Monday, November 22, 2010


We got to see Joseph over the weekend, but I'll talk about that later.

Today was the hearing for Lizzy pertaining to her legal dad's visitation.  I was THRILLED that they had me on speaker phone for the WHOLE thing and I got to hear everything.  I was able to say most of what I was hoping I would get to so that was nice.  Basically, the judge decided that the next two weeks of visits with dad would be suspended in which time the social worker MUST come up with a plan that would make Lizzy feel safer in this situation.  The judge suggested that the plan probably would need to be "the foster mom" being in the whole visit for the time being.

Now, I was very excited about this.  No, I do NOT want to sit in these visits with her BUT the thing is even the judge is limited by the law.  He is the legal dad and he hasn't done anything yet to get his visitation taken away so the court ordering my worker to find a plan to make this easier on Lizzy EVEN IF IT MEANS TOTALLY INCONVENIENCING ME is fine.  She needs someone in there to make her feel safe and if I am the one who needs to do it, well, I am going to.

I was excited that the judge actually order what was best for Lizzy, considering she has to have these visits, this is her only option that will work for her.

Today was not a "win" for me, I of course would rather be done with it, but, within the legal world this WAS a win for Lizzy so I am happy for her.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


You won!  You won!  "myhopefulheart" won!

Please email me the address you would like the book sent to at mamatofoster@gmail.com 

You will have to thank my hubby for your win, I couldn't think of how I wanted to choose the winner so I yelled out to my hubby to "Choose a number between 1 and 15!"  

He chose 7 and that was you :)


I will be drawing the winner today.

Stay tuned.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Lizzy is eating a few chocolate chips and is watching retro sesame street episodes.

I have been on the phone talking to both sides of the family about Thanksgiving plans, working on a last minute "urgent" work related project, thinking about how I agree to help at a youth group thing tonight when I don't really have time to - but kinda want to, and have been debating on when to call Sabrina's mom and chat with her about the medial insurance info I just received in the mail from the state we live in.  I wish our state would catch themselves up on where Sabrina is living...they did put her there you know.

Anyway - in the midst of all of that I came across this:


And my heart said, yes, this describes it.  That is where I am...praising God with my "cold and broken Hallelujah".

It won't always be this way.  Just for now.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


*My son and Lizzy-he wanted to get a shot with them together and I got a good one.*

And, out of no where the lawyer finally motions to get dad's visits suspended.

I walked into Lizzy's visit with her mom to find this out.  No one told me, I hadn't spoken to anyone in about a week in a half or two and suddenly Monday we have a hearing.

Mom is not too bright, she went around saying it was a hearing to have his rights terminated, but it is only concerning the visits.

I asked the lawyer what the social worker thought of this and he said she was wishy-washy on the phone but when he asked "Is the foster mom exaggerating any of this?" she said "no".

Now, in another interesting move, dad canceled his visit for today.

I am wondering if he did it so no one can say that this one too went terribly.

He tries to be slick like that.

We will see what the judge has to say, the lawyer didn't want me to have to drive all the way up there so they are calling me to testify.

This should be interesting.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


I knew that many of you would be stuffing boxes, whether you commented or not.

As many of you know, things have not been easy lately.  I HAVE to give GOD the glory for pulling me in so close to HIM during this time.  Weeks before Sabrina left God took me on a journey of grief, healing and preparation for things to come before any judge ever decided what was going to happen.  God told me she was leaving but I couldn't even say the words out loud because I wasn't ready to accept it.

I took a weekend to spend with HIM because I needed to figure out how to deal with what was going to happen.  As much as it hurt and I didn't want to hear that she was going home I was prepared for it.  After she went home, the very next day, my husband said to me "I am proud of how you are handling this" and I said, "What?  Did you think I was going to curl up in a ball and lay in bed for a week?" and he said, "Well..." - the truth is that is EXACTLY what I thought I would do as well.  But, I didn't - because I was ready.  Being ready doesn't make it hurt any less, it just doesn't demolish everything else in your life as well.

Anyway, the first book I read after I had my "meet with God" weekend was Crazy Love.  It is worth reading, and I am sure many of you have - but maybe not.

So, I decided that this should be my first give-a-way.  All you have to do it leave a comment and I will send you a copy of Crazy Love.  I haven't decided if it will be a brand new copy or my copy but either way you will get one.  Also, feel free to enter even if you have already read it, I am all about giving things away to someone God lays on our heart so feel free to give it away, if you want, I will even mail it to your friend myself.

So, leave a comment and I will draw a name and Crazy Love will show up in your mail box - or your friend's mail box.

Good luck!


I guess I should add that I will close the give-a-way on Friday, November 19th at Noon.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Ok, fess up.

Who is stuffing shoe boxes this week?

We are.

I went to Walmart today and walked through the aisles of Christmas stuff.  I haven't had it in me to decorate for any holidays thus far.  I love Halloween and I didn't do anything decorating wise.  I know that it is because I am sad...but anyway, that is off the topic.

I was at Walmart and in 4 double sided aisles of Christmas stuff I found ONE junkie nativity set.  There was no Jesus in these aisles and I got very very sad.

Christmas is about CHRIST, and as I looked at all the glittery junk I was, for the first time, overwhelmingly sad to see that Christmas is no longer about Jesus, it is about penguins, snowmen, disney characters with santa hats on and sparkly junk.

I usually love all that sparkly junk.

Today it just made me sad...so I am stuffing shoe boxes.  

Are you?

If you have no idea what I am talking about read about it here:


Monday, November 15, 2010


2 Weeks ago, after a round of crap-tastic visits with Lizzy's family I was DONE.

I had it out with her social worker and the supervisors of her social worker.  My favorite part is when I ask them questions and they tell me "I don't know the answer to that" pertaining to rules and things that have to be dealt with all the time.

Anyway, that night I just cried.  I cried because this stuff with Lizzy stinks.  I cried because I miss Sabrina. I cried because everything felt very very heavy.

And then I got a text message that was from Sabrina's mom.  It was a picture message of Sabrina's mom holding her outside.  I honestly didn't know if she was trying to pour salt in my wound or be nice so I replied:

"Looks like you are having fun"

She wrote back "How are you?  We had a blast.  Went to a birthday party."

I wrote "How is it having your girl home?"

She wrote "Awesome.  She's my world!  She talks about you guys a lot"

from here I am only going to write what she sent me.

"She's doing really good and adjusting well.  She has her days though because she misses you guys."

"You are her Aunt Leah.  I thank you for that!  It means a lot to her"

"I'm going to bed before she wakes up.  Not sleeping all night yet.  She usually wakes up around 3 am"

Getting the text messages at this very time was very interesting because Ben and I had just decided to not foster any more.  Literally we had JUST said the words and my phone started beeping.

After we were done chatting I just cried.  When I say that I felt heavy - well, that is the only way I have found to describe it.  That night my body, heart and mind literally hurt.  

Also that very hour I got two emails as well from some friends of mine.

One said this:

"All the kids that come through your home no matter if they stay or move on will probably look back on their life and think of you and Ben as their true parents. Foster parents like you two don't come along that often. You take the time to love each and everyone of your kids."

And the other said:

"Leah, I heard this for the first time tonight in the car & the first verse made me think of you & how you love your kids."

and had this video attached:


I and I thought to myself "How can I quit?"

Right now we aren't really ready for more.  We are ready and willing to deal with Lizzy's situation.  We are ready to move forward getting our Joseph home, and, in a way we are ready for more.  But, for now, I can only deal with today. 

And, I have to say, if you feel compelled to write a note to encourage some one do it, don't hesitate, because they may be hurting as much as I was that night and they may need to see that God is paying attention enough to have someone say something nice to them.

I with out a doubt know that God made Sabrina's mom send me those texts.  I have seen HIM make her tell the truth on occasion even when she had just lied 20 seconds earlier to me.  It made me sad and happy all at the same time to hear from her, but most of all I was relieve to see God still moving in this situation.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Today we woke up, got ready and hopped in the car to go see Joseph.

Oh, that poor little pumpkin.

He is VERY age appropriately in love with his current foster mommy.

Remember Lizzy screaming about leaving me?  Well, he did that, a little.

Then he got over it and we snuggled and he grinned.

We had about an hour alone with him at a library and he ended up doing great and then was excited to get back to his current mommy.

We loved seeing him.  I wish I could post more of the pictures because you can see from all of our faces that we were so excited to see him even if he had that unsure look in most of his pictures.

Today was a good day.

Friday, November 12, 2010


I am just busy.

I have a big post I need to write.

It's coming.

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I will be 27 years old.

I get to wake up and go see Joseph first thing in the morning.

I am excited.

Oh, and Sabrina's mom texted me...

More on all that later.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


So, apparently Lizzy has decided to hate everyone but me.

She had her visit with legal dad Monday, so today, Wednesday, she had her visit with her mom.  She was fine hanging out with me, her mom and bio dad in the waiting room and then the worker walked in and she FREAKED OUT.  She ran from where she was, screaming, and hid behind me and no one could console her until the worker stepped out of the room.

I guess she remembered the worker dragging her into the last two visits with dad.

Well, on top of showing her distaste for the worker, she has decided to be horrible to her mom in the visits as well.  She has been very nasty from what I hear.  Mom said she put her in time out during the visit.  I just giggled and said "Good for you, that is what I would have done too."

Lizzy does think that her crazy behavior gets her whatever she wants.  I don't put up with it so she obeys me 50% of the time which is 50% more of the time than she did when she got here.

She also has gotten to where she kicks when you pick her up and if she does not want you to pick her up she will try to kick you pretty hard.  She doesn't do it to me, but I have seen her do it a few times to other people when I am around.

I can't exactly ask them to cancel her visits with legal dad when she is pulling the same stuff with mom now too.  I am sure it is partly just her age and partly because I am her person right now and she does NOT like being away from me.

You gotta love kids, what strong spirits they can have, and foster kids, well, they need those strong spirits-trust me.

I had such a good laugh over Lizzy screaming at the worker today.  

Go get 'em little girl.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I have a couple thing to share with you all, but those will have to wait until I have more time.

I don't know how to really jump into what is in my mind lately, but I am going to try.

First, this wasn't supposed to happen to us.

We were not supposed to turn into one of the stories about foster care that scare off people from becoming foster parents - but we have.

We weren't supposed to have a child in our home for 16 months and then give her back to a terrible situation - but we did.

We weren't supposed to have a child come into our home who was free for adoption and then decide to not adopt them - but we did.

We weren't supposed to get told a child was headed towards adoption when they weren't - but we were.

We weren't supposed to not be able to protect these kids - but we can't.

This is not the plan that I started off with, quite frankly I was sure that God would protect us from all of this - but He chose not to.

God has blessed us from the tops of our heads to the bottoms of our feet.  We got married young and still love each other.  We gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  We work hard and can pay our bills.  God has literally drown us in blessings.  

But our path to adopt/foster has not been easy.  It has not been marked with obvious signs that we will get out of it what we hoped for.

Every day since Sabrina left I have been grieving.  Our whole family is.

I cringe when I see a picture of her.

I shake my head when one of us says "It is in Sabrina's room"

I push her out of my head often and several times a week wish that I could erase all of this from my memory so that I won't have to feel it anymore.

I often go to bed with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my chest I have never felt before.

But, I do believe that this path has been marked with lines.  Lines that are drawing out a battlefield on which lives will be fought for.  

I didn't have to fight for much of what has been given to me.

All of my greatest blessing have been ushered quickly into my life by the sweeping hand of God Himself.  I didn't have to wait for my husband, wait for my son or wait too long to have a wonderfully normal life.

But, this, THIS I am having to wait on the Lord for.  

It is hard.

It hurts deeply.

And the healing is not quick but it is there.

So, I am waiting and trusting and waiting and trusting because I know Joy will come in the morning - I am just waiting to wake up.

Monday, November 8, 2010


The DHS worker didn't show up.

It was a scream-fest.

Lizzy's worker did great though.  She did everything I would have done in her shoes and for that I am thankful.  It didn't change anything, but I appreciate the effort.

I don't know if I can keep doing this.

I wasn't built to watch kids get tortured on a weekly basis.


Apparently Lizzy can sense that she has a visit today - because she has lost her mind.

She is acting nuts, it will be interesting to see what kind of show she puts on today.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


Last year on the day before Halloween I got the call for Kellen.  We got home in time to have dinner and get the kids into bed.  Our first full day with Kellen was Halloween.  This year Kellen celebrated Halloween with HIS family.  He dressed up as a dragon and did everything a normal kid gets to do.  God is good, isn't he?

This year it was just the four of us.  It did feel like people were missing, a certain little girl was heavy on my mind, but, time marches on.

When it was time to carve pumpkins we were surprised to find out Lizzy was TERRIFIED of pumpkin guts and carved pumpkins.  It was hilarious.

This is Lizzy under the table hiding from the pumpkin guts- too hilarious.  By the end of the night she wasn't scared of the carved pumpkins any more.

We took the kids out Trick-or-Treating.  We had a great time.

Lizzy would do a candy dance every time she said "trick-or-treat" once she found out people would hand her candy.  She was a hit at the trunk or treat, nothing like a cute little kitty cat dancing for candy.  I wish I could show you her cute face.

And that was Halloween.

Friday, November 5, 2010


Lizzy's worker that I had the problems with called me today and wanted to schedule a visit with dad for this Monday because he can't make it on Wednesday.  You know, because the last one went so well.

She did say that she has to do it for right now but is "working with the lawyer on it".

What she means by that could be anything.

Will you guys please pray for something?  Will you pray that the DHS worker will be able to make it to the visit?  I called him immediately to tell him when it is scheduled for because he asked me to and he is going to try to come.  He told me to call him Monday morning to remind him.

Please pray he will come, that way I will know that we ALL did everything we could and whatever happens from there I will just have to deal with...and so will Lizzy.

She really needs your help...


(Lizzy and my hubby Trick-or-Treating)

After Lizzy's last visit I was sick.

I could do a play by play but I think you guys get the idea.  I have NEVER said anything about it, I just encourage Lizzy to go into the visit to the absolute best of my ability.  This time it was so ridiculous and upsetting, while she was screaming I said (loudly) "This is so wrong!"

Well, the social worker decided to tattle on me to her supervisor which ended up back firing on her because it got me in a room with her supervisor where I told them EVERYTHING she had done including when the judge threatened to hold her in contempt of court for not turning in a report for THE SECOND TIME before the day of the hearing.  In my "meeting" with the supervisor they kept saying "We just want you to know your not in trouble" because I was so upset and said "I think you are thinking we are saying you are a bad foster parent and we are definitely not" and at that point to told them "Oh trust me, I KNOW I am a good foster parent."

They were just addressing basically the lies that the social worker had just told me.  After I talked to them they said they had quite a few things to talk to her about and when I went and got Lizzy from her she (the tattling worker) wouldn't even look me in the face.  I grabbed Lizzy's hand from her and marched out without a word.

I don't know if I am going to be able to do anything to help Lizzy when it comes to they visits...I honestly am scared that the judge may decide that she needs MORE time with him to work through this.  In a way I would understand that decision even though for Lizzy that would just mean more trauma and that needs to be taken into consideration.

I am just sickened by this worker.  She has lied to me, encouraged me NOT to go to hearings, not done her work, has no answers that she should and only follows the rules when it suits her.  When I was on the phone with the DHS worker he said "You should consider having your license transfered here so you don't have to deal with this".


I have only worked through an agency, not directly with DHS - anyone have any thoughts on working with an agency vs. directly with DHS?

Thursday, November 4, 2010


"The case of the orphan is a passion that the Lord has placed in our lives and we do what we can to help others take care of the least of these and over the years I have spent time encouraging others to adopt or foster.  The most common excuse I hear from people as a reason not to foster is this:  “I couldn’t do it because it would be too hard to give them back”.   Have you ever thought that?

This is where I realize that through our experience with Luke I can honestly turn to these people and tell them “Yes, if you do your job right and love these children like God wants you to, you will hurt, BUT God does heal.”   James 1:27 does not tell us to “take care of the widows and orphans in their distress … and you will never experience pain”.  We, the body of Christ, are commanded to take care of the widows and orphans.  Period.  No excuses!!  It does not matter if we are called to take care of and love a child for a week, a year or a lifetime.  We need to do it and take the opportunity we have, while they are in our home, to show them the love of Jesus.   Fostering and/or adopting are incredible opportunities to reach the hurting children of this world for Christ.

If we do our job right, and love them, if and when they leave, we will hurt.  But I am so grateful for the gift of grief we experienced, because through that I know that neither I nor you have to live in fear of the pain, but delight in the One who I know will heal."

I recommend that you got to her blog and read the whole post called "The Gift of Grief"-it will change you.



When I put in my contacts this morning they were still covered in salt from all my crying yesterday.

That is how well Lizzy's visit went.

Watching her little body flail, contort, kick and writhe was nothing compared to looking into her eyes as they carried her off to her visit with her legal dad.  She was screaming and crying and begging for me to not make her go in the room with him.  In her eyes you could see the fear and betrayal that there is no way to explain to a 1 year old.

If I ever believed in purgatory I have finally found it.  It is called the U.S. Foster System.

You can quote me on that.

The word "purgatory", derived through Anglo-Norman and Old French from the Latin wordpurgatorium.[8] has come to refer also to a wide range of historical and modern conceptions of postmortem suffering short of everlasting damnation,[1] and is used, in a non-specific sense, to mean any place or condition of suffering or torment, especially one that is temporary

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


So, if you are a foster mom you are well acquainted with being responsible to fill out medical forms (and many other forms) that you don't necessarily have the answers to.

After I took Lizzy to the doctor the last time I called her mom to let her know how the doctor appt. went.  While I was on the phone with her mom I remembered that on the forms I had just filled out I had put that Lizzy had no known allergies and I asked her mom if she knew if Lizzy had any allergies.

This is what she said:

"Well, I know that her brother had to be rushed to the hospital and almost had to have a treach put in because he was allergic to smoke.  His dad was smoking cigarettes and crack around him and his air pipe almost completely closed but the hospital got it back open before they had to give him a treach."

Good to know.

Do you think of the next form I fill out I should write "family history of children having allergic reactions to cocaine smoke"?

I will have to call the doctors office and ask that they do not smoke any crack around Lizzy.