First, unfortunately, I know what it is to have a state worker come to my house and take a child that I have cared for for 16 months of their life and not know when or if I will see them again.
I know what it is to have a child crying for ME and having to hand them over to someone they don't want to go to.
I know what it is to have the state in my business when it isn't their place.
I know what it is like to have a child look at me and want to come home but they can't.
I know what it is like to love a child so much it hurts and not be able to do anything about the situation except wait on the court to make a decision.
I have experience the loss.
I have experienced the hurt.
Thankfully I have not been on their side of it legally - but I have been on their side of it emotionally. At least the ones who I am giving the benefit of the doubt that they love their children they way I love their children.
I often see this in my life and think about it. I know that God allowed it so that I would have compassion for these people. I know HE allowed it because HE knew it would change me.
And it has changed me.
No, it's not fair-it isn't about fairness at all. No, this journey is about trust, faith and grace. For me, for them, for everyone. None of us deserve it, but yet it is offered to us at every turn in our lives. I am so glad for this grace because while I am hurting I am learning compassion, while I am crying I am cling to my faith and when I fail at all of these things I am covered in God's grace.