Thursday, November 4, 2010


When I put in my contacts this morning they were still covered in salt from all my crying yesterday.

That is how well Lizzy's visit went.

Watching her little body flail, contort, kick and writhe was nothing compared to looking into her eyes as they carried her off to her visit with her legal dad.  She was screaming and crying and begging for me to not make her go in the room with him.  In her eyes you could see the fear and betrayal that there is no way to explain to a 1 year old.

If I ever believed in purgatory I have finally found it.  It is called the U.S. Foster System.

You can quote me on that.

The word "purgatory", derived through Anglo-Norman and Old French from the Latin wordpurgatorium.[8] has come to refer also to a wide range of historical and modern conceptions of postmortem suffering short of everlasting damnation,[1] and is used, in a non-specific sense, to mean any place or condition of suffering or torment, especially one that is temporary


Kylee said...

My heart is hurting for your precious Lizzy, my heart is mad at the imperfections of the foster care system, and my heart is sad for the millions of Americans that choose to do NOTHING for these precious kids.

Thank you for doing something. Thank you for loving your sweet Lizzy as she has to endure these hurts.

I'm so thankful there are people like you out there, willing to do something.

mamamargie said...

God bless you for loving God's little lambs. He suffers with you and Lizzy. Praying for good to come from all this.

La Mama Loca said...

I so so so understand this! We are no longer fostering but have adopted 5 from the system. We had our ffs for the first year of his life. He is 1/2 brother to our oldest 3. He was returned home to a still crazy and unstable situation over 2 yrs ago.

We still see him often and he still considers me his mama. Visits are great until time to take him home. He cries, screams, begs not to leave. Yet I have no choice. He is my son and always will be, yet I cannot protect him. I have faith that the Lord keeps His hand on him and will keep him safe. But the pain and purgatory are still there!

Diane said...

I would pester L's GAL daily until he/she witnesses a visit w/legal dad and files something to stop them or change them to supervised by a therapist instead of a social worker. This is truly cruel and unusual punishment for a child who has done nothing wrong.

MamaFoster said...

Diane, I lit up everyone's phone AGAIN and they have some what of a plan to 1. have the DHS worker come watch a visit so that they can see what is going on and if they have to they will pull rank on the worker who is supervising the visit. 2. If this actually happens the GAL is going to file a motion to have the visits stopped.

I am trying, they just are dealing with a social worker who lies, she says that the visits are "better some days than others" when she is in court and they are worried about ruffling her feathers. I already did at the last visit when she tried to claim that I had a "problem" with the visits (as if I shouldn't have a problem with this) I talked to her supervisor and told them all about what SHE has been doing and they weren't happy.

Now, we'll see if ANYONE actually does what they say they are going to do.