Thursday, February 2, 2012

Life.




So. The adoption worker came over on Tuesday. The social worker cancelled so she didn't end up doing her monthly visit. I personally do not care much about this because if I need to I can get ahold of the social worker. But, if you want to get into the fact that it is their JOB to come do the visit and that some kids are in homes that NEED to be checked on...well, obviously that is not good. Speaking of which, the adoption worker is "required" to have 2 visits with the child within 45 days of TPR. As I said, she came out on Tuesday, but then mentioned that if I wanted I could just swing by the agency later this week and that could count for the second visit. I wonder how big of a loop hole that is. I did it though, I dropped by the agency today and we had our 3 minute visit and now we are all good for the 45 days...I guess.

The adoption worker told me today that they might be expediting Lizzy's adoption because there are incentives right now for the agency (i.e. MONEY) to get a bunch of adoption done I guess. Whatever, good for Lizzy - good for us.

So, back to Tuesday. The worker comes over and gives me the same blue adoption folder that we had filled out back when we had been working on adopting a little boy named Jonah. It was actually about a year ago that we called the agency and said we would not be going forward with the adoption. That situation has always been a sore spot for me so when I saw the folder I wasn't even excited.

Regardless, I am excited about Lizzy's adoption...and I will pretend to be excited about filling all that paper work...again. I thought we wouldn't have to because we ALREADY have an adoption home study from last year, but apparently they still need me to fill all of that out for the "addendum" they have to add to that old home study.

So, adoption worker comes...adoption worker goes...I get a text from Lizzy's bio dad.

Bio dad: "Hey how's it going how's Boogie (Lizzy) doing?"

Me: "She is doing good. Watching her favorite show, Team Umi Zoomi"

Bio dad: "I sure do miss her"

Me: "I image you do. She is doing good though. She is almost potty trained."

Bio dad: "Wow good for her that is great"


I didn't text him back and he didn't text me back. I can no longer go around complaining about him not checking to see how she is doing. It is funny how over the past few months I have gotten annoyed by some of the things they still do. Like him calling Lizzy "Boogie"....no one calls her that. She has a name. You COULD have made an effort to see her before the court forbid it...but you didn't. You no longer get to call her pet names. (At least in my opinion).

Then, yesterday, the day after bio dad texts me, bio mom texts me.

Bio Mom: "Do you have any new pics of Lizzy you can send me plz"

Me: (I send her one based ONLY on the fact she said plz) with a caption of "We took the kids swimming the other day. Boy does that girl like to swim"

Bio Mom: "She is just like her mama lol. How's my little mama doing?"

Me: "She's doing good."

That was the end of the texts.

Um....yeah...she isn't your "Little Mama" anymore...for the record...she never was. The kid at 18 months old wouldn't even look at you, never acted like she liked you until I made her...yeah. She's not yours.

Now, you will notice that I got texts from mom and dad within 24 hours of each other. This has happened for months now even though they are not together. It has to be more than just a coincidence. I wonder if dad texts me and then sends a nasty text off to mom? I don't know, but I would find it interesting to see what the deal is there.

I truly wonder if mom knows/understands that her rights have been terminated??? I didn't say the literal words so maybe she doesn't know. I told dad that they were in the process of terminating so maybe he doesn't know either.

I think mom thinks that she can have me raise this kid, but she will be "mom" and I will be "Aunt L***" for the whole kid's life. I don't know. She would try to get her to call me "Aunt L***" and Lizzy would laugh and say "No, that mommy."

These people are delusional. I still will be nice to them because without them THERE IS NOT LIZZY and some day she, I assume, will want to know about them and possibly meet them so I would rather have some type of relationship with them...IF I can keep it pleasant. If she does see them I will flip out if anyone calls me "Aunt L***" I can tell you that.

(that will be discussed ahead of time though)

78 comments:

One Blessed Mom said...

Hi,
I am a recent follower to your blog and wanted to stop in and say hello. My name is Sandy and I'm from GA. I was reading that you just went through TPR to adopt Lizzy and I was wondering (If you have the time and in your own time) if you could help me to better understand the whole TPR thing and how it works. I've been fostering for 7 years and have never adopted (I wasn't really signed up to foster-2-adopt) but I never said I wouldn't if a child came along. Well, I have the sweetest little guy ever. I got him at 1 month old and he is now 17 months old. We had our 15 month hearing and everyone except Mom/attorney was for TPR. The state said they were going forward with TPR but the had to turn in some type of paper work to the court (Do you know what kind of paper work that is?) also they said once that paper work was in the court would have 15 days to review it. Then we would be assigned a TPR court date. Does all that sound familiar to you? I'm soooo lost. Also, you mentioned something about more paper work you must file for adoption. Can you share more info? I just had my yearly foster re-certification. Is that enough? Or is there more paper work you have to fill out? What more could they possible need to know about us? Any info you can share on the whole foster-2-adoption process would be really helpful.
I'm sorry to be so lenghty but I've tried to get more info out of everyone and it seems noone else knows the answers (not even these new case workers I'm stuck with),but people adopt from foster care all the time. So I know there mut be some process you go through.
If you have the time, it will be very appreciated and you can respond in your own time. If you would rather not answer that is fine too. Thank you for your time and thank you for what you do for your children.
~Sandy
my email- mom2five@bellsouth.net

melissa hunt said...

That so reminds me of the kids bio mom. I adopted the kids back in May. Starting in Jan, she began emailing me asking if I would give her just one of the 3 kids back. It makes me laugh.

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