I got a weird text that said "Lizzy's bio mom's name" and was from a weird number. And looked liked she had some how marked the text as urgent? I don't even know how to do that.
Anyway. I called her old number and got no answer and so I called this odd number to see what was going on...apparently I didn't have anything better to occupy my time.
She answered the new number, but it didn't even sound like her. It was around 10:45 am and she had been sleeping because she "had been at the casino all night for her birthday". I just looked at my phone to see when she sent that text. She sent it at 11:28 pm last night. Nice of her to keep texting me late at night.
She told me that this was her new number and was just desperate for me to send pictures of Lizzy to her new phone number because she can't figure out how to send them from her old phone to her new phone. She asked how Lizzy was and I said she had been sick all weekend. Mom just went on the the next subject.
I told her I would send her some pics if I had time and blurted out "Happy Birthday" and got off the phone. This is where my curiosity gets the best of me. I shouldn't have called her (not that I am not allowed to), but just for my own sake. I shouldn't keep entertaining these people when...well, it's over.
They made such a horrible showing in court that the judge said they are not allowed anywhere near Lizzy. No "open adoption" "could you let her bio family see her once a year" talk during her termination trial...it was more "lets get this kid adopted" "and if you need a restraining order call me" talk.
I honestly do not regret getting to know them. Because I did I have LOTS of pictures of Lizzy as a newborn (off of mom's myspace) and I know lots of her family and lots about the Lizzy before I knew her. BUT, this is the not fun part, where I have to start admitting that the court is right. It probably is detrimental to her to be anywhere near them...and it makes me feel like I am keeping their kid from them...but, she isn't theirs anymore.
2 comments:
I do think it may be time to change your information. Somehow, because of your love for Lizzy and probably more so "visa versa", there are soul ties that need to be broken. Her mother will continue to pull on your mercies until she crosses some sort of boundary. She has become dependent on your response. And that goes without saying for either of the 'dads'. You've already seen this time and time again.
I almost get the sense that you are maybe concerned for her mother, that she will do something to harm herself, but that is not your responsibility. She has created this situation entirely on her own and she's going to have to find her new normal, without Lizzy, because that's her reality now.
It sounds hard, even as I am writing this and I have NO experience whatsoever, so I totally understand if you would rather leave it than take it. But as a friend, I truly think you need to put up some police lines...DO NOT CROSS.
This:
I shouldn't keep entertaining these people when...well, it's over.
YES.
You have to think of her best interest when you want to be kind or people-pleasing...it's over.
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