Saturday, February 4, 2012

Loose.

I talked to Lizzy's social worker yesterday. She asked how the meeting with the adoption worker went and I mentioned that so far the adoption worker hasn't heard of legal mom or legal dad trying to appeal the termination.

The social worker then told me that she had not either...the only thing she had heard was that BIO dad (the one the court had/has said has no rights to Lizzy) called the DHS office and was trying to track down Lizzy's social worker to talk to her. DHS called the social worker's supervisor, the supervisor told the social worker and the social worker told me that her response to it was "Well, I didn't need to call him back and am not legally obligated to, correct?" to which her supervisor said, "Right, you don't need to do anything."

So, unless BIO dad gets a lawyer and goes through the court system to try to contact anyone about Lizzy no one will be getting back to him. Also, it was reiterated in court a couple times at the termination trial that he is NOT the legal father and the legal father was the only one who needed to be terminated on.

Where I live this is the way the law works. I even know of cases where bio father's have fought for years to be able to even see their kids...but, if the mom was married to someone else when she gave birth to the baby the baby is legally her husband's child, not the bio dad's child.

This is exactly what has made this such a torturous case. Lizzy was made to have visits with a stranger she was scared of (her legal dad) and the one parent that actually took care of her (her bio dad) was told he was no one to Lizzy legally in court.

Over all I think this had ended up being for the best when it comes to Lizzy. Even though her bio dad does care for her, he is a drug addict just like all the other legal parents she had and is living in a shack of a house (that does not make you a bad parent) that is filthy and I am pretty sure that he is abusive to his son that still lives with him. By abusive, I mean mentally and physically-but, not enough to make the state step in. He also could have tried much hard to stay in contact with Lizzy or could have at least gotten a lawyer to try to get her back, but he literally did not want to spend the money on one.

It is a very sad situation. I do feel for him, but I am glad Lizzy is safe here.

10 comments:

CherubMamma said...

I can't begin to wrap my brain around that law! A bio dad should ALWAYS be the legal dad! I know you've explained it before. But it always ruffles my feathers.

I do agree with you though. Lizzy is safe and loved where she is now and that is a very, very good thing!!!!!!!

Diane said...

I'm glad Lizzy is done with all the turmoil. Hoping the adoption comes soon!

Kelly said...

Me too. So glad she is safe with you, at home.

One Blessed Mom said...

That is so odd. Here in our state the named "bio dad" always gets a free DNA test compliments of the state and if he is dad he gets a free lawyer too. So when bio dad doesn't come forward (like in Z's case) he has noone to blame but himself.
However. I'm thankful that Lizzy is safe & happy and home (with you). Best wishes for a long happy life together:)

heather said...

I've been wondering about the laws concerning Bio dad. It does make me feel for him a little more, but not enough to think that Lizzie should be with him. I'm glad she is with you and I hope and pray she stays there!

Robin said...

Crazy situation! Our daughter's bio parents (who were/are together but not married) had already been terminated when we got her so we didn't have to worry about that. But then we had to go through termination with "legal" dad who was/is still legally married to bio mom. He had never been a part of her life and lives in a different state.

Hoping and praying no one appeals in your case and you can adopt quickly.

Carol said...

Appeal time is over. There was no appeal. It is now to late. So life can move on.

Carol said...

Appeal time is over. There was no appeal. It is now to late. So life can move on.

Pipsylou said...

That was my understanding...correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't appeal time over, MamaFoster? Please say it is?

Leah W said...

When I asked the judge she said there was a 14 day timeline for tha appeal and then another wait time of around two months....I don't know why. The adoption worker said the same thing about the two month thing...maybe that if for family? I don't know. No one explained the law thoroughly about the appeal timeframe