At first I said "only babies" - which I got no calls for.
Then I thought that the only age that would work would be a girl between 3-4 yrs because...well, I HAVE a newborn on the way. (2 months to go!) So, I told them that.
About a month (felt like 2) after I told them about the 3-4 yr old girl theory they called me. They had a 5 year old girl that was in a foster home that was closing their license. Her brother has already been signed over to his dad (apparently not her dad) and her mom only comes to about half of her visits, thus, looking like she would be adoptable. THEN they told me that because of the severe neglect in her bio home she is in speech therapy because no one can really understand her, she is NOT fully potty trained, and is delayed...probably is around the developmental age of a 2 or 3 year old.
The first half sounded great-ish. The second half not so much.
I am so sick of older kids in diapers. If it's a baby I understand, but 3-4 year olds in diapers is starting to get to me. Lizzy included. I would say she is around 60% potty trained, but she is not moving forward because she wants to, it is because we are making her. Imagining a 5 year old in diapers is just more than I can bare right now.
I told the home finder that I didn't think I have time to put in the work this child will need to reach the developmental steps that she needs to start meeting, and I meant it. I also do NOT want to have to have another child move because I couldn't say no and I told him that too. If I can I will avoid that mistake. I HATE having kids moved.
So, that is the last phone call I got. This is foster care. That is a very normal call to get:
-Over your age limit
-Needing more help than you agreed to
-Needing to say no and not wanting to
The good part is that you can say no. You have to make sure you are willing to jump in and try to make this work, not let a child come to your home to see if it will work because having a child move should be even our last resort.