Friday, December 28, 2012

Not always.

Most of the time foster care sucks.

Seriously.  It does.  One step forward, two steps back.

Broken promises.
Jerky social workers.
Bad decisions.
Heart breaks.
Hurt kids.
Behaviors.

And in the middle of it are the moments that keep us in it.  The first smiles, the ridged hugs and eventually melt into cuddles, the love we have for a human we didn't even know existed 3 weeks ago, and sometimes the strangers that walk through our doors become family.


For 3 years foster care sucked for us.  We got hurt at every turn it seemed and the "smart" thing to do would have been to give up.  But those moments, those miracles, kept creeping in and kept me going even when my heart was broken in two.

We held on just long enough to see that, yes, our "PRE adoptive placement" that literally had a social worker demand that she be returned to her bios really was meant to be ours forever.      And then the miracles began to pour down on our unsuspecting heads.

Our 2nd bio was born.

Should 3 be enough?

Oh no, even the week before my c-section I found out 3 kids that I had fell in love with two years prior were finally available for adoption.  Red tape is no match for God, He certainly proved that when our 3 moved in.

And then, out of no where, we got a phone call.  The call we had hoped for from day one, but now we had six kids.  This phone call we got that would be our number 7 if we said yes, "should" have been our number 2 if our plans had gone as we wanted them to.  

Had our life gone as "planned" we would have our first bio and our first foster.

The end.

I can't imagine what I would be missing out on.  I shutter to think.

Because, numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6....the are amazing.  Life would not be the same without them.

It took my heart being broken to get them.

It took tears, frustration and a plan that was the complete opposite of mine to get them.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

But, I believe, He gives more than He takes away.
And when His blessing rain down...well, it has been a down pour.

Never give up.  That is what I have learned.  Never give up on the plan God has for you.

9 comments:

Carrie said...

Thanks for the encouragement. So happy for you!!

Mark and Sarah +2 said...

I have been reading your blog for a little while now, and I just want to say thank you for being a blessing in my life. Your message to expect miracles is one I needed to hear. We are not in foster care, but we do adopt our children and the road is long and difficult...but worth it. I've needed your words and story, so thank you. And congratulations!

StarfishMom said...

:) He is faithful!!!

Deb said...

Thank you so much for this post! Very much needed reminder for me that no matter the outcome we are in this because He called us and the children that are meant to be forever ours will one day be just that. No matter the heart break along the way.

Diane said...

Well said! I've been down the same path, but God ALWAYS has a bigger plan.

FosterCareQandA said...

This is a beautiful summary of what the foster parenting journey is really like.

Vertical Mom said...

"And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights,
Are Your mercies in disguise?"

Tammy said...

Love this post. Congrat's on your new little one.

Sophie said...

Amen. Same for us. We planned on one little girl from the waiting child list...not foster care for us. Oh my, what I would have missed out on if we had not decided to foster and eventually allowed to adopt our four youngest children. It is fine to plan and dream but it is GREAT when we let go and let God!!!