Monday, October 31, 2011


Someday I will be done with foster care. I imagine eventually they will drive us nuts and we will just quit.

I wanted to record this conversation with Lizzy's new social worker that I had today.

Me: "Lizzy is sick, runny yellow snot and laying on the couch sick, do you still want me to bring her for her visit?"

Social Worker: "Yes, go ahead and bring her anyway. And if mom needs transportation she needs to call me herself"

Me: "Ok, now have you heard from dad about the visit today?"

Social Worker: "No, but I am going to assume he is coming so bring her anyway."

Me: "She is sick, his visit is in the middle of her nap. If you guys are not transporting him to the visit he isn't coming."

Social Worker: "Well, I was just going to assume he was coming."

Me: "So you are going to do the opposite of what we have done for the last 18 months, when she is sick and I would have to wake up a sick kid from her nap to bring her to a visit that isn't going to happen because he isn't coming."

Social Worker: "I am working on trying to get ahold of him. Let me talk to my supervisor and let you know what they say."

Me: "Ok."

I then called Lizzy's mom and found out that she couldn't do the visit today so I called the social worker back.

Me: "Hi, it's me. Mom can't come at that time even if you guys were transporting her so I gave her all your information and told her that she needs to call you to set up something for next week."

Social Worker: "Ok, I put in a call to Dad, he didn't answer. Our transporter has to leave at 11:45 am to pick him up for the visit so I will let you know if they leave to go get him."

Me: "Ok"

Last phone call of the day.

Me: "Hello?"

Social Worker: "Hi, dad never called back so the visit is cancelled."

Me: "Ok, so we are just planning on all this again for next Monday?"

Social Worker: "Yes."

Me: "Ok, and are you the official new worker on the case or the sub?"

Social Worker: "I am the sub, we are waiting for __________ to get out of training and then she will be taking over the case. That will be in about 3 weeks."

Me: "Ok, thanks for everything. Bye."

Shoot me.


Kelly said...

No words, just uuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

Mrs. Bird said...

You probably don't want to get me sorry for you all!

Mama P said...

That conversation sounds familiar. @@

I have fantasies of quitting foster care, like you see people qutting in the movies. Walking in the office and slamming my license on the table and saying "I QUIT YOU LAZY BUNCH OF GOOD FOR NOTHING CHILD ABUSERS."

Then I think about that seven page list that I called when I was trying to find respite, and how 40 of those people had the same story to tell me about how they were driven to quit.

Then I realize, that if we all keep quitting, nothing will I am just going to be the most annoying foster mom ever, until things either change, or I get my way. LOL

:( Poor Lizzy. I want to hug you both.

Carol said...

Oh my!! I say that, but quite typical from out experience.Bios tend to be full of excuses. We had one mom whose uncle died multiple times. lol

Also kind of surprised that your agency supplies transporters for bios. All other agencies that I know about feel that being able to get rides to visits is part of learning to be self reliant and responsible--training for being able to get kids to dr's appointments and such. Other agencies transport kids but not parents.

Also, we have always had the right to say a child is sick and not able to come for a visit.

Hold on. There will be an end to this.

Diane said...

Well, at least you didn't have to disturb Lizzy. It is disgusting that they don't hold bio parents more accountable.

Some offices here have instituted policies that if a parent no shows without adequate notice more than a couple times, they won't go to pick up the child or have the child leave to come to a visit until after the bio parent shows up in the office (if responsible for own transportation) or after the transporter has confirmed that the bio parent is in the vehicle on the way to the visit. You still have to put your day on hold, but at least you don't have the child disrupted unless the parent actually comes.

I think this is reasonable, even though it makes the parent wait, because they have already made the child wait multiple times previously. The older a child gets (as in getting to school age), the more upsetting to the child it can be to go to a visit where the parent doesn't show up, and that's why this policy was started [sadly, it had nothing to do with convenience of or courtesy to the foster parent].