Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I thought I would tell you a story.

Lizzy's ears used to be pierced. By the time she got to me they had grown in. After I had had her for well over 8 months her mom brought a pair of gold stud earring to a visit and gave them to me.

"I got new earrings," she said. "So take these and jam them through Lizzy's ears while she is sleeping."


I kinda blew her off, but took the earring and said I would think about it. I never even considered it. I would basically have to re-pierce her ear with these none pointy earrings to get them threw her little ear lobes. Have you met this child? "Jam them through while she is sleeping." oh yeah, and listen to her scream and cry for the next two hours? Not only would I be hurting her, I am thinking my agency might not want me re-piercing anyone's ears.

She called me a couple times and asked me if I did it and I said, "No."

Later, after I had basically blown her off three times, she told me "Oh, we'll just get them re-pierced when she comes home, don't worry about it."

Yeah...don't worry...I couldn't have been any farther than "worried about it".

Why do I post these stories? Because this is what it is like to deal with the families of these kids. Some people are "lucky" and don't have to deal with the families or even meet them. That is not the case with me. I have to meet them, I even have to work out visits outside of the agency with them sometimes. I do not have to give them my phone number or talk to them outside of during the visit, that is my choice. While it does add stress to my life, it helps me to understand where these kids come from and what the life they came from looks like...I guess I am just too darn nosey to NOT want to know that stuff.


Kelly said...

It kills me how stupid people can be.

MamaFoster said...

me too.

Carol said...

You might want to check and see if there is a Bethany Christian Services agency that covers your area.They are great and supportive of the foster family as well as bios and the kids. They transport. Our closest one is 50 miles away, but they cover our county and get a large portion of the areas cases.

And yes people good sense does tend to be missing sometimes.

Bobbie said...

"when she comes home" that is a BIG 'if.' And i'm sure in the next sentence she was talking about signing over her rights. I guess i think it is sad how literally messed up her brain is, but... her thoughts are just so random and contradictory that i don't understand how she can't see that. "i am going to sign over my rights, but I will re-pierce her ears when she gets 'home'" and where exactly is 'home' for that matter??

Kelli said...

"crazy pants"

Maggie said...

Working with Bio parents can definitely be discouraging and disappointing at times. That's for sure!
But...we've had several cases where we weren't able to get to know the bio parents (safety reasons, distance, etc.) and I really hated it.
We were powerless to try to encourage, empower, or help the bio parents in their reunification efforts - which is the goal.

I know it can be a pain, but sometimes it's better than the alternative! :)

Debbie said...

You're not nosy, you care. The more you know the better you can help the kids. I think.
Even though there's likely no chance we'll get to meet our girls (coming home tomorrow) bio family I pray we will have that chance sometime because there's so much I'm going to want to know.