Wednesday, February 16, 2011


The day before we decided not to adopt Joseph I had dropped him off back at his foster mom's house and in turn she had sent home with me a few bags of his Christmas toys because we were all planning on him moving to our home in the near future.

When I put those toys in my car I had every reason to believe they were my son's toys.

Turns out that he was not my son.

Tonight I am gathering up all the toys and tomorrow I will make the drive out to his foster mom's home to give them back.

I am tired of packing up kids.

Today they had a PPC meeting where they talked about where to go from here. They are going to revisit a family that wanted to adopt him, but were told they couldn't because they already had too many kids. They want his adoption worker to ask the state for an exemption if the family is willing to revisit the idea of adopting him.

By this Friday he will be on our state's website for wards of the state that need to be adopted. I will never forget the day I saw our Kellen on that same website. The picture of him was one I took of him in our home. It seemed so wrong to see a child in our home on that website.

That same picture was the first picture his new family saw of him, and is the picture I keep of him in a frame by our front door with pictures of all of our beautiful kids in it.

I just got finished putting all the pictures we had taken of Joseph while he was with us on a CD to put in his file for his future family. As my husband and I talked tonight it is obvious that we made the right decision for us, I just struggle to know if we made the right decision for him.

Ultimately if it was right for us it was right for him, it just makes me sad I guess.


the johnson crew said...

makes me sad too. i'm a little confused. lizzy staying? and why aren't you adopting Joseph? I'm sorry it didn't work out.

my heart longs to adopt again.

Diane said...

I'm so sorry. If it was not meant to be, God always has a reason.

Beck G. said...

I am so sorry you had to make that decision. Cannot be easy to pack up his things, and to wait and see what His plan for the little guy is. Praying for you guys.

FootPrints said...

what?!?! ok i must have missed something. i am gonna back track!

Ashley said...

Romans 8:28 ...I just believe that everything will work out. Sometimes waiting for that to happen is just a challenge.

Pipsylou said...

You're right. If it was not right for you, it was not right for him.

In your gut you know it.

Rebekah said...

I know enough about this arena to know that you've gotta trust the Holy Spirit prodding in you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or feels.

What a rough ride this has been for you guys! I pray that God would continue to refresh you as you go about his business.

Shantra said...

Mamma Please drop me an E-mail! We just had our homestudy updated and I have some ?'s for you!!! Thanks

Tammy said...

I hope everything went ok today. That would have been hard. Here is a bloggy hug.

Penelope said...

You do have to think of everyone. A friend told me fostering is a lot like dating - sometimes love at first sight & sometimes not. You know when it's not right.