When we got to the mall she hopped out of the car and searched me out to hold my hand on our way in. It has been a while since she acted like that. I think she always felt like she was betraying her mom. She seems like she has been able to move past that and I am so glad.
When we are together I tend to pay way more attention to mom than to Sabrina. I have always tried to make her feel welcome and included. This visit was SO nice because mom acted practically normal. That sounds like no big deal, but it really is. She held a great conversation and wasn't too socially awkward like she normally is. She is still a step or two away from what I would call "normal", at least behavior wise, but she seems to be doing better mentally.
Sabrina was also acting more normal which I was happy about. She seemed more calm and less ready to throw a huge fit at her mom. I was really proud of her. She did have a moment or two where she was trying to be the boss of her mom, but it could have been worse. During those moments I try to support her mom by letting her know that my kids behave that way too sometimes and that when we are out we just have to have a united front.
We try to spoil them both when we come to visit. We got them dinner and then paid for all the kids to ride the carousel (twice) and for all the kids to go on this little train too. Mom always tells me that she is broke before we come and I always tell her not to worry about it. I know she really is broke.
It was also neat to hear that Sabrina's grandma's work all got together and bought Sabrina a ton of stuff for Christmas. They had just given it all to her the day we came over and she was wearing a whole brand new outfit. At first I was sad that she is "that kid" from "that family"...you know, the ones that can't afford their own Christmas. Then I just decided to be thankful that God has brought other people into their lives that want to help them. Sabrina's mom also told me that some one has been leaving one gift a day at their door step. It started 12 days before Christmas. It sounded like it was a neat thing for them to have happen and I was glad to see all these people that God is using to brighten their lives.
Sabrina's mom told me, "She asks for you guys EVERY SINGLE DAY. A day doesn't go by that she doesn't talk about you." It has been around 14 months since she left our home. It has been around 4 months since we came to see her and hearing that really made me think about how much more effort I need to put into making her a priority. They live an hour from our home and when we go to see them we need to plan on paying for everything. So it isn't the easiest thing in the world, but I will be trying to make it out there once a month to go see our girl who just will not stop asking for us.
She is worth it.