Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Well, between everything that is going on with my three girls poor little Joseph hasn't been brought up much has he?

I think that is because he is just so easy.  I love his foster mom and we work together great so there is no drama there and when he was here he was the easiest out of all the kids.  He just hangs out, cuddles and plays.  There were NO fits, barely any tears, he really is just that easy.

I was so glad that he treated me like "the mom" and preferred me over other people, even my hubby.  He is a little behind and I can see it more when I have him for long periods of time.  One thing that was very sad to me is that he "self soothes" at night and at naptime by banging his head on the side of his crib.  His foster mom knows about this and has other kids that do this and it is almost "normal" at her house, but it just makes me sad.  To me, self soothing equals having to soothe yourself because no one else did it.  At night I would stand over his crib and stroke his hair as he settled down to go to sleep.  Sometimes it helped and he wouldn't bang his head and sometimes he would bang his head anyway.

It was also interesting to me that he didn't play with toys much, but that may have been because I let him just sit with me and I have found that all my kids just CRAVE being touched, talked to, loved on, played with and having our attention.  That is something my new little girls are soaking up and you can tell they need it.  It is a neat thing to be the one God trusts to "heal" these kids.  It is amazing the amount of healing that goes on just when you treat them the way you treat your own kids.  When they haven't had it before you can see their eyes light up when they see that you care enough to pay attention.

When it was time for Joseph to go back home his foster mom met me part of the way so all we did was move him from one car to the other.  He was fine.  I talked to his foster mom today and she said he did great, he didn't act all clingy or anything and that he seems to be doing really good going in between our two homes.  This makes me very happy because, of course, I want him to like us, but I also want him to be happy where he is since there is nothing I can do about it.

Everything went very well during our visit, we are now going to do every other weekend all weekend.

It will be neat when he finally doesn't have to leave.


Julie said...

How long will it take before Joseph is able to stay with you? We are foster parents and are considering getting our adoption cert. to go the same route as you. I know states vary (we are in AZ) but I am curious about the transition period and timeline of events. If you don't want to post the answers you can email me at

I love reading your blog :)

Kelli said...

He may be a little behind now but I'm sure with all the love and attention he will get from you he will catch right up!

Beck G. said...

Patty's little brother (2.5 years) is the SAME way. We are in a somewhat transitional move, he was supposed to be in our home by now, but because of circumstances, we take him 2 times a week to relieve the foster mom as well as keep the bond between our family. He bangs his head, has a permanent bruise because of it. And his foster mom doesn't seem to be phased by it. He has very little speech, and we figure he does it because he cannot communicate his needs. It is heartbreaking. Glad to hear Joseph is doing well! So excited for you guys!

Jen said...

:( I agree, that is so sad that he self soothes that way.. that made me tear up.. I am so glad he is transitioning well, sounds like he is such a little sweet heart <3

jendoop said...

You sound perfect for him! So glad things are going well. It will be so exciting when he has a forever home with you!

Debbie said...

So glad it's all going well and moving forward.
Under your loving care he'll soon reach milestones that he might be behind on.

So sorry to hear he's self soothing. I've heard of that a lot in international adoption but haven't read of it much in foster children. Hope he comes home soon so you can help him heal.

So wonderful to think about it as God trusting us to care for these children. I'm anxious to get licensed so we can be used in that way as well.