Monday, December 20, 2010
I wish you could see the whole picture, she really is just too beautiful. (Our new foster baby Tina)
Today was our Lizzy's hearing. Everything went well, everything stayed the same with the legal dad (Praise God!) and mom now gets once a week unsupervised visits...which the court said she could have her first one on Christmas, IF I was willing to do it, because she can't spend the night.
These crazy people wanted me to meet up with Lizzy's mom to give her to her ON CHRISTMAS day and then 3 HOURS LATER come pick her up.
Friends, that wasn't going to happen. I told her worker that they had to pick her up at 8 AM if they wanted her and drop her off that evening because that was the only time I was willing to do any of this. When I talked to her lawyer he said that if I wasn't willing to do it then they couldn't see her on Christmas. So, the ball was in my court.
If I believed at all she would not be safe I would, of course, have said I wouldn't do it, but there were a few reason I said I would.
1. Lizzy has a brother, by her biological dad, that she hasn't seen in ages. When she got taken it turned him into an only child and I have seen several times where he has been very hurt by Lizzy not remembering him or wanting anything to do with him. He is 10 years old. When her mom showed Lizzy a picture of this brother she, very excitedly, squealed out MY son's name. Also, one time my son and their son were both in the waiting room and her mom said "Come say hi to your brother!" and she ran to MY son not theirs. I don't even refer to him as her brother in a way I ever dreamed she would notice, but that is what happened.
2. Lizzy's bio dad is a decent guy. Now, in "my circle" he would be considered very...rough, but he has shown me time and time again that he loves this little girl. We have a very good relationship and HE WILL BE WITH HER THE WHOLE TIME DURING THIS VISIT. As an example, he asked me just tonight on the phone if I wanted to keep her for the morning so that we could have Christmas with her too. That is how I know he loves her.
So, with that being said, I decided that Lizzy needed to be with her bio family for Christmas. We usually do our little family Christmas (not so little this year!) on Christmas Eve so Lizzy won't miss that. Plus, we will have Joseph for Christmas and the thought of THREE 2 yr. olds for Christmas....makes my head spin I guess.
This year's Christmas situation ended up so much easier than last year, the fact that I could have said no makes me feel better too. I am doing the best I can with what I have been given and I just know that Lizzy going there wasn't going to hurt our Christmas but it would mean the WORLD to them.