I sent out Sabrina's Christmas gifts to her yesterday (late) and I also sent her mom and gma a photo ornament of Sabrina. I sent them each their own.
Ever since the girls have gotten here, especially Tina, I have been feeling like it is time to let go of Sabrina. I have talked to her mom 3 times and without asking or her saying anything I think it is obvious that she wants Sabrina to forget that "foster care" ever happened. I understand that. I think that trying to accomplish that by cutting people she loves completely out of her life is the wrong way to do it, but at the same time, I see adoptive families doing this as well to help their kids "attach" and what makes her wrong and them right? I honestly think that acting as if it never happened or these people never existed is ridiculous and in the long run (and short term) will only be confusing and emotionally hurtful to the kids. That is just my opinion. Plus, in order to have a relationship with Sabrina I would have to really build a relationship with her mom, which would be fine if I didn't know that all she would do would be use me to get whatever she could from me.
Ever since these girls walked into our house I have obviously been very busy, that busy-ness has made me realize that there isn't going to be a lot of time in my life to play games and kiss feet in order to be used so that I can perhaps see Sabrina - apparently I don't even have time to get her Christmas gifts to the post office on time. I feel ready to move on and let go. Not that I have much choice, but I do think there is some choice involved. As soon as I felt the tug that it was time there was part of me that said "Not yet, I need to hold on to this just a little longer..." but, I don't need to.
If her mom calls I will pick up the phone, and if she doesn't we will all live our lives. Life moves on regardless if we are ready for it or not. If you would have told me that last Christmas that neither one of our foster kids would still be with us THIS Christmas I would have been heart broken, but if you would have added in that we would have FOUR new beautiful little faces to celebrate with I would have been thrilled. I will always miss my kids who leave, and I will always look forward to my babies that haven't made it to our home yet. Seeing God take them away and give us back double what He took...well, if that doesn't show you the goodness of God I don't know what will.