Me: "I don't understand why they aren't able to find homes for these kids in their county."
Seasoned Foster Mom: "I'll tell you why, but it will make you mad."
Me: "Go ahead and tell me..."
Seasoned Foster Mom: "It is because they are part african american."
Me: *stunned silence*
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Me: "Ben, do you know what my friend said? She said that they probably couldn't place the girls in their county because they are part african american!"
Ben: "Honey, I could have told you that."
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Apparently I forgot how this world is.
Well, they can stay that way because their loss is my gain.
They are really missing out on some beautiful, amazing gifts.
12 comments:
its really quite sad..even in 2010 that people are so ignorant. Our first placement was an emergency care, AA little boy, 2 months old, we happened to have a family gathering while we had him and my husbands step dad was over heard saying 'I had no idea they were taking black babies'.. I didn't know of this until weeks later, but I was so upset that such prejudice was being placed on such a beautiful little sweet boy.. its sickening.and you a right, it is their loss..:(
This is, in part, the reason my heart feels such urgency in getting into the system. Our home is open and waiting. The world can be so ugly.
That is heartbreaking. I can't believe it is still like that in our world. It is so different here in Canada, and yet still the same.
Horrible indeed. What really makes me mad is that (at least in TX) if an African American child is over 2 years of age it makes them a special needs adoption because they are less likely to be adopted.
Even though what is being said is a big part of the problem, there is another bigger problem--well maybe not bigger and probably not even a sadder tale, but another part of the problem. We live in a county with a large AA population. For many reasons that would take a book to go into, there are more circumstances involved that cause more removals and a need for out of county placements.
A statistic that I once heard about our county is that there were approximately 100 foster homes and 500 kids in foster care. Our license is currently only for 2. There are those licensed for one. Those numbers don't add up to in county placements all of the time.
We have 3 AA kids that came to us as babies. They are forever kids.
We have friends who have taken in a variety of kids--some older even whose stories would break your heart. The dad in tis home has been totally rejected because some of his kids are AA. Some very NOT nice things have been said to him in front of his late teen kids. He had to tell his parents that if they weren't going to love his kids, he couldn't have a relationship with them--a relationship that would hurt his kids. He then adopted us as his parents. Saturday this man who is in his mid 30's graduated from college. He did that in 2 1/2 yrs while fathering a home with approx. 12 kids in it--some very broken and his wife who graduated 3 yrs ago is teaching full time. They have a licensed in home daycare that he ran to earn some family income, pay his 22 yr old daughter (who goes to school at night)AND care for the younger kids at home. He is considered the youth pastor at their church and did not shirk his duties there during this time. He took the youth on a 2 week mission trip last summer. He ran a successful vacation bible school. AND he graduated with honors. He invited his bio parents to his party and they refused to come. Now if that doesn't make one mad. We were honored to stand up at graduation to receive the kind remarks aimed at parents.
This world is sick. Glad it isn't my home.
It is really sad that, in the world we live in, the color of skin is such an issue
You would think people would be over that by now- but we live in a very racist town ourselves, and plan on accepting children from any race once we are certified. If someone is not willing to accept and love on a child because of their color, maybe they should examine why they want to foster/adopt at all.
That is the craziest thing I have heard in a LONG time!!! I know TONS of foster parents in my area and they are ALL willing to take children of any race.
I actually thought I would get AA children b/c I was open to any race and most of the people I know fostering have AA children. However, my first 5 kids have just happened to be white.
I really don't see what race has to do with anything, but then I live in a pretty diverse area and teach in a fairly diverse school.
I agree with PotterMama. I'm sorry people are crazy. Keep your head up. You're doing beautiful things!
And I can't envision our family adding another child that isn't part or all african american. It's the only imagine that my brain and my God will allow! If/when we adopt again, I truly believe it will be a biracial or black child and I couldn't be happier.
I am so glad that those adorable babies weren't placed in their county....now they have YOU!!!!
I just got a call on a potential placement, and it didn't even occur to me to ask. But, of course, one of the first questions I was asked when my coworkers found out that I was waiting to hear back was "Is she white?" My response, "Does it matter? All I really know is that there's a baby who needs a safe place to stay and I said 'Yes! Of course! Submit me please!'"
Since I began this process, I've been very disappointed by some people and pleasantly surprised by others. It's so sad that race is still an issue to so many people.
Our last adoption was of a sibling set of three biological sisters - same mom, but three different dads. The oldest was white, the second hispanic, the third African American. They were considered hard to place because of the different races. It's been rewarding and sad to hear the different responses from people. Someone asked my sister, "Why did they have to adopt a black child?"
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