I can still feel him sitting in my lap.
I can feel him pull his body as close to me as possible.
I can still see him crying when I left.
Though all of this is so sad and makes me question our decision, when it comes down to it I don't have that longing for him that I still do for Sabrina. I am sure a lot of that is just the amount of time I took care of her vs. the lack of time I cared for him, but that last visit I had with him will alway haunt me and be one of the situations in my life where I am pretty sure there was no right answer. I don't think it would have been right for us to adopt him, but I am not sure not adopting him was the right thing either.