Saturday, April 16, 2011

Haunting.

Every once in a while my last visit with Joseph comes back to me in emotional waves.

I can still feel him sitting in my lap.

I can feel him pull his body as close to me as possible.

I can still see him crying when I left.

Though all of this is so sad and makes me question our decision, when it comes down to it I don't have that longing for him that I still do for Sabrina. I am sure a lot of that is just the amount of time I took care of her vs. the lack of time I cared for him, but that last visit I had with him will alway haunt me and be one of the situations in my life where I am pretty sure there was no right answer. I don't think it would have been right for us to adopt him, but I am not sure not adopting him was the right thing either.


3 comments:

StarfishMom said...

No decision like that could EVER be easy! You made the best decision for your family. XOXOXOXO

mamamargie said...

There's an ache in fostering that most will never understand. There are faces that still haunt me to this day. It's just hard!

Rebekah said...

There's nothing easy about any of this...