Monday, July 18, 2011


Things are pretty quiet around here, at least when it comes to foster care. No new calls (I guess it is hard to get the younger ones :) ) - honestly, I think God just knows what is best and I personally am not in a huge rush for a new case to deal with.

Mondays are Lizzy's official visits with Legal Dad...who never comes so I never even bother to call or go to. Seriously, like today the visit is supposed to be in less than an hour and I haven't taken a shower, got the kids ready or anything because I'm not going and he's not showing up. It is ridiculous that they even have it on the schedule.

I will probably call Lizzy's new worker today and ask her why she hasn't contacted me yet and also ask who is writing the report for the next hearing because it better not be her. She hasn't had contact with me, the bio one.

I don't know if there will be a visit with mom this week or not...she hasn't been calling me either. I am worried about her.

I also am kicking around the idea of seeing if there is any way the bio dad could take Lizzy as a kinship placement...take guardianship of her...something. Of everyone in her life I feel like she loves him the most and he loves her the most. She seems to belong with him, but I just don't know if that is possible. I know he feels like there is no point because he doesn't have any money to spend on a lawyer...does anyone have any suggestions for me?


Tammy (aka. "Mimi") said...

I've been meaning to ask you about the possibility of bio dad getting custody, and why they haven't looked at him as a kinship placement. They are SO DETERMINED to get these kids with blood relatives, I've been surprised that they HAVEN'T considered him. It's obvious to everyone else that he is the best person for her. Have you talked to Lizzy's attorney about it? He might be able to offer some advice or at least give you/bio dad a starting point.

MamaFoster said...

I am going to talk to the lawyer about it BUT on MANY occasions the court has told bio dad that he is no different legally to Lizzy than a stranger on the street so I don't know if their is any where to go with this or not.

Plus, with her being with us for over a year now, well, I wonder if that is a negative thing for him now or not.

Mie said...

Biodad - if proven through paternity and not having given up his rights in court, has equal rights as mom and legal dad. All that means is that he has the right to ask for custody (which means the court would do a homestudy). I don't think they can deny the homestudy be conducted - it probably depends on the state but I know here the state has the requirement to do requested homestudies. They of course could still deny placement and he'd have to get an attorney for the court battle, but still.

CherubMamma said...

The System never ceases to frustrate me!

They can take kids that have been in a foster home for years - pluck them out like nothing is wrong - and put them with an aunt and uncle the kids have never known. All because family is supposed to be better than foster care.

And you're dealing with a case where the Bio Dad is going to possibly have to fight for his kid?! They aren't even considering reunification with him right now?! I'm sorry -- but biology...especially since it's her totally different than a stranger on the street!!

It's too bad he doesn't have the resources to fight for it. I hope you're able to make some headway. That case sounds so messed up. My heart goes out to you and all those involved.

MamaFoster said...

Bio Dad is not being considered at all. They actually did a home study on his home when mom was living there because she was getting returned to mom. The house was approved.

Mom has since moved out and is living in an RV with friends. This has left bio dad with virtually no reason to even attend court if they are not together. They have mentioned him several times in court as the supposed bio dad and have mentioned her attachment and relationship with him, but he has no lawyer of his own.

Kylee said...

Okay, I rememeber you explaining this along time ago, but why are there TWO men getting time with her? I can obviously figure out who the bio dad is, but who is the legal dad? Is he a boyfriend of the mom who somehow got custody?

Anonymous said...

In our state, they WILL give them to a stranger on the street! Okay, not literally, but now, kiddos can go to a "family friend". Like birthparents can choose one of their buddies and they would take precedence over the foster family, just as a kinship placement would. Crap, right? So.... a bio parent could designate their flipping drug dealer, and as long as they passed a homestudy- which really isn't that hard- they would get the child in their home. It's ridiculous. How do you really know how close of a "family friend" a person really is...

MamaFoster said...

bio dad - was there for the birth, signed birth certificate, raise lizzy until i got her

legal dad - is currently married to mom and was at the time of Lizzy's birth so he is the "legal" father. he had only seen her once before lizzy came to live with me. has been seperated from mom for like three years, but won't give her a divorce.

kate said...

it's so confusing.

i don't know anything about foster care, and this just confuses me more!

so, lizzie has a father (bio dad) and a stepfather (legal dad), right? why isn't her bio dad being considered?

was she taken from her bio dad's home? is that why he's not in the running? was it because of him or because of mom?

i would hope your recommendation and lizzie's lawyer's recommendation would carry some weight. is that just naive?

La Mama Loca said...

Our former foster son has "two" dads. His bio dad is the one raising him and 2 siblings with bio mom....but she is still married to the bio father of our 3 (adopted) kids. They really gave legal dad NO option to weigh in on his case when he was in care. He was informed of the court proceedings, but that was 'it'. They eventually dismissed him completely from the case.

Bio dad was given every service and chance to get him back, whether he was with bio mom or not. And he is even in this country illegally!

I don't understand how her legal father can really play such a big role.

I'm also confused as to why bio dad wouldn't be allowed a public defendant in the case as well. Especially since he is the one on the birth certificate and the actual bio father. Has he really requested and pushed for this? It could be he never raised the issue b/c he and mom where together?

Hoping it can get sorted out. Sounds like he would be the best place for her to go!