Friday, May 20, 2011

Bus.

I have two beautiful little girls living at my house. They are sisters and they have two brothers that live in another foster home. They came into care in December and came to live with me on December 17th. Since that time their parents have only seen them once.

So.

Our agency has been in contact with mom, who now is living in another state. They keep trying to get her up here to see the kids. They picked a date and she was going to take a bus up here. The agency sent her $124 to pay for her bus ticket up here. That was their first mistake.

At 8:05 am on the day she was supposed to come up here she called and canceled. She asked if we could do the visit next week. Of course we all said sure. Not only did the agency send her money to buy a bus ticket, they also were going to be picking her up from the bus station and bringing her to the agency plus they would have to pick up her boys and bring them because the other foster mom works AND had booked a hotel room for her for that night because the next bus available to take her back home wasn't until the next day. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the very first visit she canceled was the weekend of her oldest son's birthday. I don't know what could be more important than getting up here for that considering she missed her other little boy's birthday the LAST time they came up here and decided to go back home on the day they had scheduled a visit. She doesn't work, her kids are with me...what is there to do?!?!?

Anyway, the following week we all planned on her coming for the visit. The social worker went down to the bus station and watched the bus pull in...but no mom got off. She called and mom never answered. She just didn't come. All the kids were waiting at the agency for her. The boys are older and they were bummed out. Their foster family was bummed out because they had made plans to spend some family time alone during the visit (they are struggling with the boys behavior). When I saw the kids' faces I just couldn't take it. I told them that the boys could come to my house and I would bring them home around the time the visit was supposed to end. I loaded six kids into my car and stopped at McDonald's on the way home and we had a picnic in the front yard and then they ran to the back and played and played and played. The boys never want to leave, but eventually it was time to go.

After mom didn't show and didn't call she waited a couple days and then called the social worker and told her how excited she was about the visit next week. The social worker was like, hello, that was this week. Mom claimed that no, she had meant the 19th. So, we go ahead and plan a visit for the 19th.

You will never guess what happened.

Ok, maybe you will.

On the 19th she called and said she missed/couldn't make the bus she was supposed to be on BUT if she could catch a later bus she would love to do a visit Friday.

Today is Friday. No call. No visit. And, by the way...where is that money the agency sent her???

Seriously, I think we are dealing with someone who knows how to play the system. When the kids first got taken she wouldn't sign anything, wouldn't give anyone any information and then moved to another state. Since then she has had an excuse for everything and managed to get the agency to SEND HER MONEY. Talk about good...

Here we are. The girls were supposed to be moved to the state mom is currently in well over a month ago and we haven't heard ANYTHING.


These poor kids.

13 comments:

PotterMama said...

Poor kids :/ It's awesome that the agency supports the birth parents so much and was willing to do whatever it took for her to see her kids, it's sad that she took advantage of them and crushed her kids hearts. :(

Debbie said...

Poor kids. Nice of you to take care of the boys after missing the visit.
Part me hopes I'll never stop being surprised at how little some moms care about seeing their kids.

Learning To Abandon said...

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me (and break my heart) how so many moms put their kids on the "back burner". They're your KIDS...go see them. no questions asked.

Sunnysideup said...

Oh those poor babies. All of your stories leave me shocked and broken-hearted for the kids!

Diane said...

What is the law regarding abandonment in your state? In mine it is six months. That means that the state can terminate rights if the parent has failed "to provide reasonable support and to maintain regular contact with the child, including providing normal supervision” for six months. Just saying...the lawyers could be filing soon if your state's law is the same.

MamaSalmon said...

Oh wow, that is just beyound awful.
poor kiddos. getting their hopes up like that and then just dashing them for no reason.! She must be giving the agency some sob story, hopefully they dont buy into it again.

ashley said...

Are they doing regular visits for the siblings? Mom should be ashamed of herself, and where's dad? She's definitely working the system. I would think she's got to be jumping up and down, on, and around the abandonment line...

jendoop said...

I've only fostered two kids but I've seen many of these behaviors - working the system just enough to continue the rat race to get money. All the while the children are dragged through heartbreak. UGH!

Pipsylou said...

Wow. Ugh. Disgusting.

Learning to Parent said...

I will never understand this type of behavior from parents. If they can't find the time to spend even a few hours with their children now, I just have to wonder what on earth the children did when they lived with their parents 24/7?

Rebecca said...

I am shocked the agency sent her money. That was mistake #1. If they were trying to get her to see her kids, they should have purchased the bus ticket and mailed it to her. Then she would have had no excuse for not knowing the day she was supposed to travel AND she would have known that if she didn't use the ticket the money was down the drain...not in her pocket.

LIke someone else asked, I wonder how long until they terminate her rights?

Heather said...

Those poor boys...I can't imagine. Good for you for taking them for a few hours! They needed that. You are a beautiful person.

the johnson crew said...

that is so heartbreaking. really sad. that was so sweet of you to take the boys home with you for a day to give them the comfort of at least being with their sisters. i pray that they can all four be adopted together by a loving family soon. so they can all be together safely in a good place and begin to move on. so very sad.