Monday, May 9, 2011


With every nose I wipe I am thanking God they are still here to wipe.

With every disgruntled scream I thank God my rooms are not filled with empty silence.

With every whine I remind myself they could not be here.

With every need voiced endlessly until it is met I remember I longed for this.

With every crying, kicking fit I remember that they need me.

When my arms are just too full I am so glad they don't ache from emptiness.

When I am overwhelmed I smile because I never feel lonely.

When their behavior is just plain ugly I sit in amazement that God gave me the ability to love the little person with all the ugly behavior.

So often I forget to see the beautiful in all of the ugly that goes on when little hearts have been broken a few too many times and little minds are so confused because life doesn't look the way it is supposed to.

Coming home hasn't been very smooth, but I expected this.

We came home to three sick kids who were all confused from being misplaced last week. Behaviors I hadn't seen in a long time...or ever, are out in full force.

Still, it is go good to see them home-comfortable enough in their two year old way to show me that this is where they belong.

For now at least.


Carrie said...

Great post! Hope you were able to relax while you were gone!

MamaFoster said...

thank you carrie, we really did have a lovely trip and as we work our way back into normal I am remembering just how much it was exactly what I needed to get myself to keep doing what I am doing.

Julie said...

I feel the same way sometimes -- remembering to be grateful in the middle of tantrums, middle of the night wake ups, etc. This really was beautiful.

Learning To Abandon said...

I hope you have a wonderful, calm, week as you helped these 3 young children re-gain the stability you have worked so hard to give them. Way to keep persepctive!

Penelope said...

My prediction is that they won't be moved until mid- summer. The longer they are with you, the less likely to move. Is the judge really that adamant about moving them?