Monday, June 4, 2012


I just have to put this out there.

We are real people.

I write a blog. I change our names. I tell what it is really like to foster because it is not what you think it is before you are in the middle of it.

These are real kids.

These are real decisions that change the course of their lives, for better or not.

When a child pees their potty trained pants because something happened that triggered a traumatic memory from the past, that is real.

When your child who never attached to anyone does crazy things like throwing his clothes up into your light fixtures every day, that is real.

A lot of the stories I hear/read could easily be assumed to be exaggerated.

In the foster world they more than likely are not.

Kids hurt.

Kids hurt each other.

Kids hurt us.

All because in the beginning they were hurt.

It is not easy to decide to parent a child whose genetic history is a mess. It can be down right scary. But, we are real people. We aren't words on a screen.

The other night I called a friend of mine who I had never met or talked to in real life. We chatted about everything. We could act like we saw each other everyday because we have one thing in common.

Our kids.

This is not an easy road, nothing worth doing is. But, it is our road and we just might make it through if we help each other.

You are not alone.

Even when you are pretty sure you adopted/foster child doesn't like you.

You are not alone.

Even when you are cleaning up their pee.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.


Rebecca said...

Knowing that I'm not doing this alone is what makes it "do-able" some days. Thank you for blogging about your very real life--I understand--I'm living it with you!

Tammy said...

It sure does feel like your alone sometimes though doesn't it. It is SO worth it though. We are making a difference. I love reading your blog, I love that you share the truth and don't sugar coat stuff.

Mom&Dad to A & J said...

Thank you. I'm sitting here blog hopping because I'm trying to get myself calm enough to email FS's therapist. He keeps hurting my son, and I've tried everything I know to do. Nothing works because he was somebody's punching bag until 7 months ago. Thanks or the reminder that we are not alone.

CherubMamma said...

Great post from a very, very real Mama! And no, you are definitely not alone in this super crazy thing called fostering.

Carol said...

Last week the county where our home is licensed through gave a networking appreciation dinner to which all of the foster parents, the judges, prosecutors, GAL's, and case workers were invited. I can tell you that by the discussions that I heard, you all are not alone. The work is hard and many times painful. The rewards are not always clearly known. You have to know that what you are doing is according to God's command. It has eternal value and it makes a difference for the children and for society now.

I think that it is very important that foster parents "tell it like it is." I feel that many times things are sugar coated and people go into foster care or adoption with blinders on and that does a disservice. I believe that this is probably the cause of things such as adoption disruption. Foster care and adoption are not the pie in the sky cute cuddly experience always.

You were very right telling the truth. I too would make the moves away from fostering for the time for the good of Lizzy. It is of extreme importance that Lizzy's healing be a top priority. You are a smart mama.

Anonymous said...


Sophie said...

thank you, friend.

Mama P said...

It certainly does feel alone. Most of the time. I thank God every day I found the world of foster blogging. I'd have lost my mind long ago if I hadn't. (Or at least given up my license, lol)

good+hardy said...

This is so great. Thank you for posting and for being so real.