Thursday, May 17, 2012

Calls.

The reason I asked if you all had ever called CPS on anyone is because I ran into someone I almost called CPS on.

Years ago this couple at the church I went to had a baby. These are two very nice people...but, they appear slow to me. Anyway, their baby got cradle cap, a HORRENDOUS case of it. Of course, I did not jump to conclusions right away. Kids get nasty skin issues all the time and it can take A WHILE to get rid of them, but when this child was 2 years old and still had this horribleness going on on her head and it was a BLOODY mess I came VERY close to calling on them. I sat by the mom at a church event and asked her some questions. I asked her if she had ever SCRUBBED her head to try to get it off. I asked her what the Dr. though about it. I asked her other things and her answers started to contradict each other. I was horrified.

I spoke with 2 people at the church that were "leaders (woman)" and asked why they had not done anything because they see the kids way more than I do. They didn't have any good excuse. After this I decided to not call because these people would know it was me because I had just talked to them. I kept an eye on that little girl and FINALLY it started to get better. Now, about 2 years later, they have a son as well who has never had any issue like this. I see them every week now and they kids look perfect and healthy.

Over all I am glad that I didn't call. I still wonder if I should have, but what really ended up stopping me (besides knowing people would know it had been me) was that I couldn't guarantee that they would go to a good home if CPS would have taken the kids. I was so worried they would end up in a worse home that I held off.

Knowing all of this, that in the end she ended up fine, would you guys still call?

7 comments:

Kim said...

I don't think calling CPS would have been my first reaction. I probably would have tried to befriend her and see if she needed some help in any way and talked to her more about the problem. What did she say when you asked her about the doctor?

Anonymous said...

Since church is "family," and we are commanded to build relationships via hospitality with each other (Romans 12:10,13), I would assume we would be getting to know each other and be in each others' homes. As a relationship was being built, I would be able to sense if there was an opportunity for helping, mentoring (Titus 2), etc. Once deeply involved in the situation, I'd think I'd have a better perspective to determine serious neglect (intentional) vs. medical/financial issues that could be overcome with the help of the church. I'm grieved to see more and more that the church (not you, Mama Foster) has abdicated to the government its responsibility and privilege to be the first line of provision for taking care of those in need. And, of course, we all know the government does not operate according to God's wisdom and design. ;)

Mommy Linda's said...

I'm glad you didn't call CPS for cradle cap. There are many different causes and it may be difficult to treat. One of my children had cradle cap because I washed his hair every day and it was too much for his sensitive skin. It was only after I moisturized his scalp that the cradle cap went away, which isn't what you would normally think. Notice in this government site the sentence that says it is not caused by poor hygiene.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001959/

Who knows what harm it could have caused to a child to be taken from an OK home to go to who knows where. I am glad that in my state, foster care with non relatives is a last resort, but in other states I'm not too sure. Think of the attachment issues that could have happened had this gone too far, just because of a mild skin condition that may have been caused by something out of the parent's control. A much better way to handle this kind of thing is to befriend the family and give them a little extra help.

Cindy said...

I think I would have called if it looked like neglect. Most likely there would be a visit to the family by CPS but they probably wouldn't remove the child from the home for this. It would be more just checking in to make sure the wrongdoings (if any were found) were being corrected unless they were an immediate danger to the child.

Pipsylou said...

I wouldn't have called CPS for cradle cap. It seems like so many people think that the government is the answer when really it should be the body of believers that makes up the church, don't you think?

If I saw someone beating on their child, I would first try to talk to them to get a feel for the situation and then maybe call CPS if they weren't open to getting any sort of help.

To me, cradle cap doesn't seem like a big deal.

His Hands His Feet Today said...

Well, assuming cradle cap is the only thing you saw... I'm glad you didn't call as well. Noah just turned 1 and we are STILL struggling the horrible cc :(. ... and it's not our fault! lol! We've tried everything under the sun and the dr even prescribed this horrible shampoo to try as a last resort. I will confess that I only tried the shampoo once b/c one of the side effects were CONVULSIONS! (from SHAMPOO!)... I decided to that bad skin was better than seizures :).

Pam H said...

I think you are asking a bigger question here than cradle cap. You (all of us) need to know if we see something should we report it even if what we see might be out of context of what is really going on. What if it all "comes out in the wash?" (A favorite saying of mine.)

It calls for discernment, judgment and an action. We can't know the hearts of others, but by their "fruits" we can tell whether they really have a sincere loving heart or a mean heart. (I say "no" to my 15 yo and he wants to run away because he doesn't get his own way. He doesn't, but if he did, would people know and understand the whole picture?)

If we suspect and don't report, and something happens to the child(ren) how do we live with our knowledge?

Recently I was praying about a very particular situation. It would have been easiest for me to not get involved. But one night when I was praying about the situation (I knew too much about how someone had been treating their children for the two years I'd known them), I heard a very quiet whisper: "These are My children, not hers, not yours, but Mine." I took that to mean that when I go before my God someday, will I have done everything (in this situation) to have protected these kids for Him?