Monday, March 7, 2011

Gray.


Foster Care is a HUGE gray area...at least for me. You see, I have come up with my retirement plan and it is sounding pretty good. I am going to go to Guatemala and hold babies that aren't mine, who don't have mommies to hold them, until I die.

No adoptions, no gray area, I just hold who needs to be held. I will cuddle them, feed them, kiss them and act like I am their mommy for every minute they are in my arms, and then I will set them down and move on to the next one. I won't wonder if they are going to be mine forever because I will know that they won't be.

I wanted to adopt. I never would have started fostering if I didn't think we were going to adopt. Now, I am wondering if we are "just" foster parents. I didn't want to be "just" a foster parent. Now, it seems to be what is fitting. Yet another twist that was not part of my plan.

"Just" a foster parent.

It kinda makes me want to run away and "just" be a lady that holds babies in another country.

And then again, it kinda feels right.




4 comments:

Heather said...

I hate not knowing what to refer to the kids as..when people say "how many kids do you have" I usually respond "2 currents" or "currently 2"

I feel guilty referring to them as my kids, they aren't, I am stealing them for as long as I legally can and then I have to give them back to people that parent MUCH differently then I do.

May I come with you to hold babies? When do we leave?

StarfishMom said...

I'm coming with you. I've been before and I'm going BACK :)

Heather said...

I just got back from being a lady that holds babies in another country...and I told my husband that we will definitely be moving to Central America at some point in life. He agreed.

You are not "just" anything, friend. You are incredible and you are doing what most people can not.

Shay said...

You know...there are millions and millions of orphans all over the world waiting to be adopted...