Wednesday, November 7, 2012


"where did that baby come from?" my sweet new four year old daughter asked me today gesturing towards my youngest biblical child.

When you grow up in foster care it is normal to 'go get a baby from somewhere'.

Having biological children, especially a very new baby, makes all the questions come out.

"yes, she grew in my tummy".

"no, you did not grow in my tummy".

Our story goes, "mommy and daddy got married (Lizzy always starts here because she is obsessed with brides) and they had a little boy named Cody (my first bio son), and then mommy went and found a little girl named Lizzy (Lizzy always smiles at this part), and then mommy had a baby in her belly and it was ky ky (my second bio child) and then mommy and daddy went out and found Jojo, Chica and Jozzy because we needed them too.

My 4 year old has two other "moms" besides me.  Her bio mom and her foster mom who raised her for the past two years.  She refers to both of them as her "other mom".  Obviously we will come up with something better than that eventually, but for now I have left it up to them to name these people and I encourage them to talk about them as much as they want.

Every once in a while something will come up.  It is mostly about their foster family.  They don't mention their bio mom.

Every day is a new step towards normal.  So far all I know is that we are thrilled to be their forever parents.


StarfishMom said...

I can't imagine the confusion that would come with transitioning the older child. The memories must be so confusing... Keep on keepin' on! xoxo

Mama P said...

We use "first mom," "middle mom," and "forever and ever mom" to describe our boys' three moms. <3 It has been interesting to explain foster care and adoption to our boys because the five boys in their home were the only five children the entire time, and they were not taught about foster care and adoption. When the younger boy that came into care with them was adopted by that foster mom, they simply called it a "happy party" with no explanation.

Congratulations again!

Deb said...

That's the normal for my girl as well. We have a friend that is pregnant now and i keep waiting for questions about why she's keeping the baby but they haven't come yet.

So sweet hearing how Lizzy tells your story.

Stacey said...

We are thrilled for you!!