There is no doubt in my mind that I have been struggling with anxiety and depression. I think I have always struggled with it, but moving our sibling group of three (turned five!) in pushed it over the edge.
I immediately started packing on weight. I have gained about 40 pounds. Before that I was not thin, I was the most that I wanted to weigh.
So, the added weight is depressing. Often, the choices my kids make are depressing and cause me to have anxiety as I worry about what the future will hold.
So, in short, I am an unhealthy mess.
I am working on fixing it though.
11 comments:
I also stress eat, and my weight stresses me out, which causes me to eat more and gain more weight – endless ugly cycle.
We need to find a way to accept / love ourselves as we are and not drive ourselves crazy about weight – there are enough other things driving me crazy these days!!!!
As long as it’s not impacting your health, give yourself a pass on your weight, you have more important things to worry about. And if you figure out how to do that, please blog about it, I struggle with this every day.
I agree with Anonymous, I struggle with the same thing and would love to hear more about any solutions you discover.
For me, admitting that I was dealing with something beyond my control really helped me reframe dealing with the depression and anxiety. I've been back on antianxiety meds for several months and they really help. Working out helps, too, which is super annoying because everyone is all "working out makes you feel better!" but also it is terrible so it's just rude that they're right.
My husband stress eats, and I lose my appetite.
Biggest thing is control. I thought that I would feel more in control AFTER the adoption of my teenager.
However I feel less in control than ever.
But I am getting better and learning to handle things. Count your victories. Seriously. List them out on a stupid corny yellow pad. IT helps.
We are two peas in a pod for sure!!! I will blog about what helps me...as I discover it :)
For anyone who takes antidepressants be aware that the weight you have put on is medication weight. I was on antidepressants for 15 years and had ballooned upwards of 40-50 pounds over that time. It was horrible going off of the meds which I finally did weaning myself over six months with monthly checks to the doctors (he was against me going off of them) and I lost ALMOST ALL of my depression by finally going OFF the meds and immediately lost 30 pounds without trying. I am still overweight, don't get me wrong, but depression is horrible and while meds helped in the very beginning, I wish I had gone off of them within six months. My depression worsened over time as meds were increased and then changed or added to etc. My daughter, in her desire for me to become healthy again, told me to quit drinking soda as I have found that soda is a BIG factor in my depression (chemically) and to begin drinking only water (ug I hated water). Plus they say exercise - and I have heard exercise is crucial for mental health - not just doing a treadmill, but getting outside and walking in the fresh air. I'm so sorry to go on like this - please forgive me - but after my near-death experience coming off of antidepressant meds and wishing to die while ON antidepressant meds, I get very scared for others when I hear they are suffering from depression and on meds. Force yourself NO I MEAN FORCE yourself to get outside and take a walk daily, work in the yard, etc. with or without kids do it. Please??
Life is so overwhelming and children with deep issues are exhausting. You HAVE to plan date nights with hubby, even though it means you come back to the mess of parenting. You HAVE to find a caregiver who can come give you a break a couple of times a week. You will be doing your children and your family a favor by taking GREAT care of yourself. Fifteen years from now you will be so thankful you did. I am praying for all "my" foster parents who live day to day - moment to moment - who wonder how they will ever breathe again. (Please forgive me if I said too much or am out of line.)
Pam, I very much agree with everything you said. I have never been on any type of medication.
I am sure that I need to get outside more (I don't leave the house much) and the lack of physically activity is a huge factor in my weight gain.
I am so glad you have found a way to get off the meds.
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