Wednesday, January 9, 2013


You know it's Monday in foster care land when your foster/adoptive son fakes a head ache in order to get the school to call you so you can pick him up.

He is NOT liking school.  He hasn't enjoyed one day I don't think.

He changed schools when he moved here.  After one week of our school I was called in and the 1 st grade teacher and the principal told me they thought he needed to be moved from 1 st grade back to kindergarten.  He was whining a lot in class and asked to go home a lot.  Often said he was tired.  So we moved him back to kindergarten.

He still is acting like it is too much.  He really just wants to stay home and play.

Obviously, his whole world has been flipped upside down so I am trying to be patient.

Then, this evening, now it is Wednesday btw, he had a little bit of homework.  He didn't tell me about it, but I asked.  My husband sat him down and hovered over him and watched him start to do the whole thing wrong just to hurry up and get it done.  He stopped him, corrected him and he finished the first section just fine.  In the second section he started to do the same thing again and my husband said "don't you dare" and he then went back to actually trying and did it all correctly like he is capable of.

He honestly just seems very lazy when it comes to everything having to do with school.  He is even lazy in his speech.  He actually has to go to speech therapy because his speech is quite bad BUT when we are at home we MAKE him speak correctly and he is able to.  I just told him that if he kept speaking in partial sentences and leaving out words the answer to his questions would always be no.  It is funny how quickly he started making an effort to speak correctly.

He really is a great kid.  I like him a lot.  He is funny.  He wants people to like him.  He wants to be included and have fun.  He can be kind and obeys quite well most of the time.

I have never had to deal with school stuff with anyone besides my bio son who hasn't had much of an issue so this is all new to me.


Pam said...

Hold that loving, firm line mama! it may take a while, but when he figures out that school is important in this family, and that he gets positive attention for many other things, the attention from behaving poorly at school/with school work will fade away.
Soooo glad he is with you now, and that he has you guys to help him learn that being smart is ok.

Debra said...

Yes just like Pam said, keep firm and it will pay off. Though I do know how frustrating it can be, we have the same here with my 7 year old foster/Adopt son. We just keep telling him how important school is and what we expect from all our kids in school. Oh the other hand I had to watch because he was just recently diagnosed with ADHD and why he was acting up in school was because he was getting frustrated and almost gave up. The meds is helping some with that, we are making improvements but it sure take a while and moves slowly. ~hugs~ Hang in there! :-)

Mama P said...

Yes, I agree with both of the mamas above, and I can tell you from myself that some kids just hate school. I hated school. When you struggle with anything at all (for me it was the fact that I have ADD and was undiagnosed/unmedicated and had a grade nazi for a mother), you just don't want to go. My biological son cried all morning this morning because he didn't want to go to school, and he cried tonight until I dragged it out of him that he hates how hard it is to have good handwriting. His teacher harps on good handwriting, and my son has a hard time with that as well as staying focused. He gets behavior color changes frequently for talking and moving around because of his ADHD.

I am so glad your husband is working with him as well. That probably will do a lot of good!

I am also THRILLED to hear you say that you like him a lot. That makes me smile. :)