tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post8800222647938246976..comments2023-11-02T06:27:00.113-07:00Comments on Mama Foster: Boundaries.MamaFosterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16347829013467691443noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-18239097415803393652012-08-08T15:53:30.672-07:002012-08-08T15:53:30.672-07:00bathing suit...GREAT idea!!!!!!!!!!!bathing suit...GREAT idea!!!!!!!!!!!MamaFosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16347829013467691443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-80403312470680296712012-08-08T14:43:26.313-07:002012-08-08T14:43:26.313-07:00We had a 7 year old girl here for over a year. She...We had a 7 year old girl here for over a year. She wanted to do everything herself, with the door closed, and I wasn't sure what to do. Her 3 year old brother was easier, because he expected me to help him bathe himself.<br /><br />After a few nights of noticing bubbles still in her hair and suspecting the body wasn't getting washed, I told her I wanted to be sure she was washing everything well so she wouldn't get sick. I had her take a bath in her swimsuit and talked her through all the steps--she still did it herself, and she still got the body privacy of her swimsuit on. <br /><br />I also talked REALLY LOUDLY about what I was doing for/with her brother while she was in the next part of the bathroom, so she could hear me.Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-54925325064739274822012-08-07T22:53:07.415-07:002012-08-07T22:53:07.415-07:00It does get uncomfortable for sure. We just had a...It does get uncomfortable for sure. We just had a 5-year-old leave us. When he first came he was VERY uncomfortable being touched at all, he would flinch and guard himself. We were worried about abuse that may have happened to him and so I tried to keep my distance because it obviously made him uncomfortable. For the first few weeks I just pretty much let him do everything on his own. And then I discovered that he had been washing his hair with the bar soap instead of shampoo and not washing his body with soap at all (other than what was in the water from the hair). At that point I stepped in and helped him for a bit so he could learn what to do. It was still somewhat uncomfortable for both of us at first but it had to be done. I just very matter of factly told him what I was going to do and then did it. It didn't take too long before I was confident that he was going to do a good enough job on his own.Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00147983729836796765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-25403811587753614992012-08-07T18:27:04.132-07:002012-08-07T18:27:04.132-07:00I used to be a Nursing Assistant and we were train...I used to be a Nursing Assistant and we were trained. Tell them what you are going to do before you do every step in regards to bathtime, but then go ahead and clean them. A child is no big deal after cleaning a full grown man. I am very matter-of-fact about the whole bathtime thing. At first I show, next bath I tell, and then when cleaning is going well, I step away and let them handle things themselves.Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08150974390816228978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-46773098438289825012012-08-07T17:29:38.209-07:002012-08-07T17:29:38.209-07:00doctor....good idea. obviously I would take them ...doctor....good idea. obviously I would take them to get the physical we always have to, but my Dr. doesn't really check anything out besides height, weight and immunizations...I would have to ask them to specifically check different things.MamaFosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16347829013467691443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-46318646254119157732012-08-07T17:26:22.487-07:002012-08-07T17:26:22.487-07:00I would MOST DEFINITELY take him to the Dr FIRST! ...I would MOST DEFINITELY take him to the Dr FIRST! Then I would go into the bathroom with him and make sure he knows what he's doing. I would want to be the one to teach him the right way to clean himself (or if hubby is comfortable...ask him). If he is coming from home you can never be sure what he has been taught and if he is coming from another foster home you never know what he's been taught. Hope that helps!StarfishMomhttp://savingstarfish.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-83464271983416118502012-08-07T16:51:14.983-07:002012-08-07T16:51:14.983-07:00I should probably add that the 15 yo is emotionall...I should probably add that the 15 yo is emotionally about 8 years old.Vertical Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10733718946646058007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-36938450437855050662012-08-07T16:48:26.702-07:002012-08-07T16:48:26.702-07:00A friend of mine took a 15 yo girl as a pre-adopti...A friend of mine took a 15 yo girl as a pre-adoptive placement and made no assumptions. She gave her explicit (but fully clothed) instructions on how to bathe, shave, brush her teeth, etc. etc. etc. She made it like it was how she would treat any new kid in her home. That's the approach I'd probably take.Vertical Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10733718946646058007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43056709404910466.post-87895102490549267982012-08-07T16:19:45.238-07:002012-08-07T16:19:45.238-07:00I'd probably have the dad ask the questions be...I'd probably have the dad ask the questions before bath time some night.<br /><br />I'd probably instruct my husband to be incredibly blunt and simply say exactly what he was trying to find out.<br /><br />"It's my job to keep you safe. Part of that means I need to help YOU keep your body health (safe). Do you know how to wash every part of your body the right way?"<br /><br />I'd probably try to talk my husband into doing this outside the bathroom with clothes on. Just have the kid mime out cleaning himself if you will. (My husband would do this but it'd probably make him really, really uncomfortable.)<br /><br />As far as anything going on "down there", I'd get the kid to the doctor for a physical so everything can be checked out officially right away.<br /><br />Shoot - you could even have the doctor go over this stuff if you wanted to.<br /><br />Or...you could simply watch the underwear for stains and go from there. :)Cherub Mammahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07220602185537450139noreply@blogger.com